I thougt I'd go ahead and get started...from my toon's point of view.
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Everything suddenly went from cold and dark to warm and, what is that I feel? Light? What are those tall, dark things over there that block the…light from completely shining down on my cool face? I was told this would be a shocking change from the oblivion I lived in for the past five years. I was told that I would see and feel and experience things that were indescribable. Trees, that’s what they are, those tall, dark things that only allow small rays of light to shine and warm my cheeks. Yes, that’s the word they said I needed to remember, trees.
Oh, and what’s this? A tall…er, what’s the word…man with a yellow line over his head with a small dot below the line…and exclamation point, yes that’s it. A man with an exclamation point over his head, very weird, but they said to expect it.
And behind him, beautiful! A building, a church or cathedral or something like it…an abbey, yes that‘s it. They said there was another man in the abbey with an exclamation point over his head and that I needed to talk to both of them. Well, here goes nothing.
“Welcome, young Warlock,!” the man said to me. So that’s what I was, a Warlock. Interesting name.
“Gronthe, I need you to kill 10 Kobolds,” the man finished saying. So I was a Warlock named Gronthe, and I was being asked to kill these little vermin-like creatures called Kobolds. Well they must be bad because I was told that I wouldn’t be asked to do anything evil, that all my actions in the world to come will be for the greater good of…er, what’s the word…Azeroth, yes that’s it.
Well let me see, I was told that I would have the ability to fight somehow. Look, a stick on my back, yes I’ll use this. Come here, little Kobolds, come out, come out wherever you are. I need to kill you with my stick. I’ll try and hit you real hard so you don’t suffer, just tell me where you are please. Oh man, why can’t I find them? Are they in the abbey? Nope, not in here. Maybe some guy around the side knows where I can find them. Oh look, another exclamation point.
You need some pelts or something from these wolves. Will they just give me them if I ask or do I have to kill them too? Oh, I have to kill them first then I get the pelts, well ok, I can do that. I can use my stick for that too.
Ugh, take that you little, nasty, dangerous Kobold and Wolf, how does it feel to taste my stick in your face? Well, you’re a bigger Kobold, a #3, I think you need to die too, but nobody said you were a #3. Oh no, please don’t kill me, no please don’t…Noooooooooooooooooooo!
It’s darker now, and shadowy, no light here. Where do I go? Well there’s an arrow on my map, I’ll follow that. Oh look, my dead body, let me go see what it looks like. What’s this? Do I want to come back to life? Duh, of course! Nice, I’m alive again. Wait, what’s that? S.h.a.d.o.w. B.o.l.t. I’ll try that instead of my stick. Ooooh, nice! Those Kobolds die much more quickly now.
Ok, so now I’ve done a bunch of these little questy thingies, I’ve got a bit-o-learning about how to be a Warlock from my Lock trainer, yippee! I’ve even got a few new…er, what’s the word…spells to use against these nefarious creatures. Now they tell me that I need to go to Goldshire. Great, I don’t suppose they could point me in the right direction. Well I guess I’ll just follow this road here, yes this road will do nicely.
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I remember the next part very clearly, I walked out of the gates of…Northshire, yes Northshire, and all of a sudden it got darker again. There were a lot more trees here than I thought were possible, and I think it was night, I was frightened out of my wits. “Just stay on the path, stay on the path” I continued to tell myself. Sooner or later you’ll reach this Goldshire place. I placed one foot in front of the other, stopping every now and then to glance around me trying to spy any enemy that desired to waylay me while I wandered aimlessly among the dirt roads of this intimidating forest.
Suddenly I noticed some lights in the distance, and people, people with blue words or names or something over their head. And flags on the ground, and people fighting with each other. I wondered if this was your orientation to Goldshire, like you had to fight the local knight to prove your worth or something. As nobody asked to fight with me I walked into a building that looked like a friendly inn. To my great pleasure that’s exactly what it was.
Nobody was particularly friendly, I still felt alone and scared in this world. I was told that I could grow into a powerful Warlock, a being of immense but dark powers. But at this moment I felt kind of stupid, I had no idea what to do next. I see more exclamations, but I don’t want to do a questy thingy right now, I’m hungry.
“Do you have any food, or maybe a place to sleep?” I asked the innkeeper.
“Hello!” was his only response.
“Do you have any food please?” I queried again.
“Light be with you!”
“I clicked on your shoulder, can’t you say anything else? Dammit!” Then I remembered I needed to tap him with my right hand instead of my left. Yes, food!
I went upstairs and lay myself down in a bed, even though there was this weird dude with purple sissy robes standing at the foot of my bed. I was warm and full of a delightful pumpkin, but I was still scared. I know I hadn’t mastered my powers, and I couldn’t find my new trainer. Where was he, or she? Alone in a strange bed, in a strange inn, in a strange world. What was going to become of me?