Channeled - A Look Into One Man's Psyche

I'd like to be upfront and honest about something before I really get started today. February 6th will be an important day for me. It was the day I began to question myself. Not in the "why am I here [on Earth]" question, but rather why am I here in the blogosphere. I read something that was never intended to garner an emotional response and weeks of deep introspection. It was a simple blog post intending to say goodbye. Tamarind, over at the newly unoccupied Rightous Orbs said something that simply proved to me that I was not as confident as I should be.

"It is fitting that people appear, write, and then fade away; that others come to take their places, and say the same things in different ways."

Was this me? I know for a fact that he wasn't even thinking about me when he wrote this, but nevertheless it resonated and caused me to consider whether I was one of those that were just saying the same things that have been said over and over and over as one in the long line of bloggers that come and go from the WoW blogosphere.

I've been frozen since then, unable to generate any thought for fear of it being so completely unoriginal, worried that my thoughts were the 14th encarnation, the 12th actually put to words and sent over the vast internet[s]. But why? Why should it matter? Even if it's not completely original, it may be relevant to me and my current experiences. And if that's the case then it's worthy to [cut] and paste. Sorry, bad attempt at humorous rhyming.

More than that, I haven't read much as I've only been reading and blogging for a little over a year now (one year and about 20 days), which means that I don't know what's been said. So, for the sake of overcoming my own self-esteem issues, I remembered the reason I blog in the first place. I firmly believe that people matter, you and me included I hope, and that people are the ones actually playing MMO's like WoW (with some exceptions perhaps). Every person experiences something while they play, be it good or bad. Those experiences have the potential to affect the real lives in some small or large way.

The point is, we all feel. Well, there may be a few unfeeling terds out there, but I bet even those feel something, even if it is self-loathing. Anyhoo, we feel, we think, we laugh, we scream, we grow tired or sick. We hide our gaming self from the world or we are liberated to celebrate it with those who employ us. So many of the experiences that our level 85 Fire Breathing Mage or Warlock are shared experiences with the person at the keyboard and mouse combo. I've never been too shy to be personal here on this blog, it's how I roll because if I don't show the real me, then how will I ever connect with the real you?

There's a story I want to share, and I'll have the pleasure of relating that experience directly into the WoW experience.

The Girl

I'm married now, but it wasn't always that way. Yes, believe it or not I was once a nerdy teenager, entirely too self-absorbed and critical. I was a handsome dude, to put it lightly, and I had the unfortunate habit of refusing to dance with a girl once. ONE TIME ONLY, I might add, a terrible mistake which I never afterward repeated. This girl was a couple years younger than me at the time of the unfortunate incident. I continued on in life, oblivious to her and her feelings. Around the time I was 18 I saw her again and was struck dumb and fool by her overwhelming beauty and perfection.

I was in love, or at least the love a teenager can possess, which differs in everyone. We had the opportunity to be a part of something wonderful, and do it together. Joy was in everything, life was rich, music rang from the houses and the hills, the sea and the air. Quite literally, in fact, as we were both chosen to sing in the musical The Sound of Music. I was to play the part of the young traitor Rolf, while she was the lovely eldest daughter of the Captain Von Trapp, Liesel.

For those of you who don't know, one of the most memorable scenes in the play/movie is where the young man and woman sing and dance with each other and ultimately kiss at the end. For girls it's utterly romantic, for boys it's deserving of some "whoops and hollas" from your bros in the audience. For me it was magic.

Opening night arrived, the backstage area was electric as adrenaline pulsed through the veins of all the actors and stage crew, director and orchestra. It was a monumental accomplishment for such an ameteur group of singers; I was on the verge of something wonderful. Shortly before costume and makeup time I was chatting with one of the other younger actresses who played Liesel's sisters. From out of nowhere she decided to tell me something that my beautiful sidekick had told her...in confidence. It was about our kissing during the hundreds of rehersals pervious.

"She said it was a bit dry, not very impressive. I'm surprised she doesn't just gag instead."

Now, what could have possibly motivated this young lady to say such a thing to me I have no idea. I was shocked, floored, destroyed. In a few short seconds all my hopes and dreams for love were vanishing into the void, and all because I had laid a fairly dry kiss on a girl. (Mind you, it was always in front of the entire cast, and so I was nervous ALL THE TIME in rehersals). My desire to see this queen of perfection outside of the play seemed to vanish before the eyes of my very soul. My psyche forever tarnished.

I don't remember making my way up the stairs and into my dressing room, but the next thing I know I'm there. Sitting in his chair was the lead actor, with one look at my face he jumped to my side pleading to allow him to assist me, for I looked quite ill to him.

"No, I'm not ill," I told him. "Just heartbroken." I related the story to him and watched as he listened intently, not saying a single word until I had finished my story. Slowly he placed his hand on my shoulder and said:

"Don't let this get you down. Channel this feeling, all the disappointment, sadness, hate, love, everything you have into your character, into your performance. Let these feelings channel into your heart and mind and focus you like you've never focues before."

That was it, he was done. With another pat on the shoulder and a "break a leg" while walking out the door, I was left to wonder if it was even possible to channel what I felt in to something positive.

But I did it.

Everything I had ever felt for this girl, past and present, I allowed to envelope me completely. I wouldn't even speak to her or anyone else before going on stage. I was a machine internally, but to the crowd I turned into Rolf, Rolf as he really was and how everyone should see him.

The beautiful one and I sang and danced as we had never done before. And as the scene came to its conclusion, we kissed as we had never done before. In that one kiss there was passion, warmth, hate, betrayal, love and confusion. Everything poured out and we shone as a result. Drawing all power from the grid we lit up the city, and people in our town talked about us for years afterwards. All because those feelings were channeled, focused into the power to accomplish a worthy goal.

That was my life, and my life isn't mutually exclusive from the games I play, and now a part of my life is a game. A small part to be sure, but a part nonetheless.

Channeling in WoW

It can be done, and successfully at that. There have been times when I have listened to a raid leader implore the group to "get it right for once", and other stuff less appropriate for children along those same lines of thought. Those times when I allow myself to become frustrated at that leader or at someone who is clearly making multiple mistakes, are times when I begin to fail. But those times when I can successfully focus all those positive and often negative emotions into my ability to concentrate on the task at hand are those times I find my greatest successes.

Perhaps I'm in a BG and someone is yelling at everyone else to NOT BE SO BAD, when that happens I try to take all that disdain and channel it into performance. Sometimes it works, sometimes I lose focus and I fail badly. But the opportunities are there for me, for you, for many other gamers out there. We play with other people, people with different opinions, values, personalities, and often we clash with these folks to the point were we either want to vomit or just punch them in the face. Since their faces are not within punching distance, there is another option. Channeling. Channel your hate of that trade chat idiot into something worthwhile. Maybe you can just ignore him/her, which makes channeling unnecessary. But you can't ignore everyone, it's literally impossible.

So I say to you, give it a try. Next time you get frustrated, focus, channel those emotions into somthing beneficial, something positive that rewards you and leaves you feeling accomplished. Don't listen to the yelling of the raid leader, listen to the words, then channel the emotion that is on the verge of boiling over into a great performance this week, this month, or whenever.

Who Am I?

I've thought about it, and here I've given it to you. These thoughts, however many times they have been expressed, have never been done so by me to you in this manner. This fact, above all else, tells me to keep on keeping on in this here interesting blogosphere. It's a pleasure to talk with you, to receive you to my little corner of the world, to get personal with you, and maybe, just maybe, connect with one of you.

Come back soon sometime!

Response to Responses

First of all, to all those who posted a comment on my How do Introverts Find Guilds? post yesterday, (thanks to WoWInsider.com), thank you. I published all comments this morning when I woke up (Pacific Time, USA). I have a few things to say in general to all of you.

#1) Lol, I don't have a clear understanding of the exact differences between introversim (is that even a word? you know what I mean, so I move on), social anxiety and shyness. That's ok, I hope you all understood the purpose even though I get the specific psychological terms mixed up. Thank you for not making fun of me and my ignorance.

#2) What I found funny is that for me, who is someone with social anxiety, I became extremely nervous when I saw that WoWInsider and linked to another article of mine. They did it once before and I was happy. They have now done it twice and it made me scared to think that people out there were actually reading MY words. I became scared and thought about deleting the post because I wasn't sure I was comfortable with so many strangers taking a glance at my thoughts. It's funny, right, that someone who blogs is nervous about others reading their blog? Well, that's how I felt.

#3) I was overwhelmed by the number and tone of responses I got. Wow, it's amazing how many people share similar trials, it makes me wonder how many more out there are a bit anxious about trying to meet new people in the virutal community, even when we know that we'll never see these people face to face. It brought a smile to my face to see such comments from every one of you. Thank you for your visit, I am honored, albeit still a bit nervous.

That's all for now. Have a wonderful day, and may your gaming be fun!

In Flux - Interaction between life and games

It's annoying, really, how real life can get in the way of a good game. My oldest son makes me aware of this often when I ask him to take out the trash while he's on the XBox. 'C'mon dad, I'm almost done, just give me a few more minutes.' Yep, life gets in the way of his enjoyment big time!

I want to immerse myself, or at the very least take some time out of my life to enjoy some good stories or a fun quest or getting Gronthe to 80 (I'm so close, 79 and more than half way there). But life doesn't always let you finish, sometimes life wants you to take out the trash and it means NOW!!!

I don't apologize for not writing for over a week. I mean, who am I offending? My readership is small, but THE BEST IN THE WORLD, yet I feel as if I've been caged, hutched and desperate, unable to express myself in the most free way that I've found yet.

We live, we play, we love, we cry, our pulses race and our emotions are stirred. I've worked with people I viewed as cold-hearted, persons who believed that work was the only life worth living. I personally felt pity for them as I did not share that same sentiment. I've always believed that good leisure time was a good life spent. To take those precious minutes or longer each day to rest the mind and the heart, to escape the troubles of life and the pressures of work is a gift to oneself that should not be denied. But still some denied themselves time with...themselves. And done in the name and for the sake of money, power, prestiege, and show.

In times and seasons of change, where an old world is coming to an end and the ravaged world of Deathwing is upon our doorsteps, life interrupts the liesure and gaming of the strongest and the weakest of us. For some life has more to say, for others its existence is evidenced occaisionally while the "me time" that one enjoys is of longer duration than another. So now priorities must be examined and a plan of action followed. How boring, right? Yet life won't accept you if you take "just a few more minutes", it needs to be attended to, and it needs it right NOW!!!

I don't hide the workings of my personal life, for if I've said it once I've said it again, and is the basis for this blog, that me and my toon are one. When one experiences grief, so does the other. When my raids failed, my life was affected (or so my wife complained often). When life failed, it affected those that I created and played with over hundreds of levels.

Life, games, it's all connected to me. Why? Because real people play games. People with blood flowing through their veins and electric signals being passed along the corridors of the brain. These people, you and me, we control our toons, and our toons influence us. Or the world our toons live in influence us, and can change habits that we develop in real life. So it is that we're always connected, and I'll never stop talking about my real life here. It's who I am, and what I do, and nobody will stop me. You can stop reading, that would suck, but I'll continue to write.

That said, I'm in a season of change. I'm recently unemployed in one of the worst job markets in the US of A. I'm handicap with a disability that is only getting worse. I'm a shell of my former poetential self, and don't know where or how I will keep a roof over my wife and kid's heads two months from now. Forget Christmas, I've already told my kids it ain't happening this year. But the amazing thing is this, and listen closely, I still try to make time to sit down with my eight year old boy and play some wow when I can. Why? Because it's him...and me...us...together...sharing something we both love, and we laugh and sing and dance and cry together and love it.

Ladies and gentelmen, don't ever think that the interruptions of life need to stop you from taking some leisure time with yourself, and if you have some, with your kids. Mental health is important, and money isn't the only thing in this world that lifts us up out of slums. Love, family, friends, and even the companionship of friendly guildies that you probably have never seen can make your life better, even when life not only interrupts your life but throws a screw ball at your head (baseball reference, Congrats to the SF Giants for winning the World Series). In my case, my employer, after knowing that I just picked up my wife after a week in a hospital and hours from potential death, sent me packing with little pity in their eyes and fat wallets in their pockets. Curse them!

But bless you, dear readers! I am not gone, I'm just interrupted by life and have to take out the trash. I'm around and will continue to bring you music (yes, I rememered, but as I've said life is sucking right now and demanding much more time of me than anticipated, but I WILL NOT back out on my promise to deliver a really bad musical song). I will continue to offer opinions, share stories, report fake news, and ponder endlessly about the connection between us and the games we play. Until next time, adieu!

This is a Test

I read an article today about linking to used or older posts over at Tish Tosh Tesh. Sure, I know he was making some point or another about the issue of buying/selling used games, but he said that if anyone linked to any of his older posts, like this one about "Selling and Reselling", that he would start charging people.

"So, henceforth, anyone (including myself) who links to any of my previous blog posts must pay me the full price originally charged for the post...Each link will incur the full price, so if you link twice, I'll expect you to pay twice."

So, if I understand correctly, if I post this article by Tesh, since I've linked to it once already now I have to pay twice the original amount.

I guess I'm being watched by a Big Brother WombatCam as well, so I guess I should be scared!

Well, Tesh, all I have to say is I AIN'T PAYIN'!!!! I'm taking a stand. I'm using your old stuff and you're gonna like it. Why, if people like your old stuff who's to say they won't buy your new stuff. I know, like you say your stuff is free, but "we're talking ideals and morals here, people!"

Ah the joy of games people play.

Oh, I almost forgot!

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Geek speech!

How did you become a geek? Oh, don't get offended, I mean the fact that you're reading this blog, any WoW or gaming blog, definitively marks you as a geek. Seriously, how long have you been biting heads off chickens and/or snakes?

According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, a geek is "a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off of a live chicken or snake".

You can't deny it, you're a biter!

Ok, fine, you win, there are other definitions of a geek. The most common being: "An enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity (i.e. computer geek).

I have phased in and out of geekiness throughout my life. There have been periods where I was a gamer, and there have been years that I never played much at all, and therefore dropped my geek label. Now I find myself in two worlds simultaneously, professional and geek. What I appreciate about one is also the fault of that world, and what I appreciate about the other are traits that I would like to see displayed in both. Let me clarify.

What I admire about the geek world that I live in currently, specifically the WoW geek world, is that opinions are unhindered. Whether it's on a forum, a blog, facebook, twitter, in-game chat, vent, newspaper...er, wait, Newspaper? Sorry, I got swallowed by the ghost of media past there for a second. My point is that we, the WoW and gaming geek community, have a seemingly endless supply of means to express ourselves, and more importantly we can express ourselves in the manner most pleasing or natural to us.

I hope that I don't need to extol further the virtues of free speech, or free thought that is granted a voice by our chosen means of communication. I can only suppose that there are very few communists reading my blog, so I'll continue with my suppositions. Anway, as I was saying, what I love is that people can and do voice their thoughts and are checked by few rules or boundries. Sure, there are forums that mediate and regulate speech when it becomes hateful, but for the most part we speak what we think.

The obvious problem with this freedom is that there are many who are either incapable of articulating their thoughts or whose base thoughts themselves are so base and hateful that it overwhelmes us sometimes. We cry out in game against those who, unprovoked, bring race, nationality, sexual preference, or gender into arguments in such an offensive manner that we're given the power to kick and ignore them so we don't have to be subject to their hate in the future. Those that are of simple mind, and incapable of intelligent thought are another beast altogether, for they don't spew hate or offensive language, they are unintentionally ignorant or perhaps uneducated, which leads them to argue things based on single-minded opinions, without capacity to consider mutiple sides of an argument.

I love the geek gaming world for their blatant honesty, and the negative side effects of such freedoms I accept because the benefits of said freedom of speech is enough to sastisfy me. In this respect, I wish the professional community could learn something from geeks. Professional business men and women are alwasy walking the line of decorum and familiarity. They want to get to know somebody quickly, to either appear to be their friend or genuinely be friendly so that they can sell their product or service. They must use proper words and phrases so as to not offend. There is much less freedom to say and do what one desires because your will, as a professional, is bound to the will of your employer. And if you're self-employed, it's bound to the will of your need to succeed (or you'll be homeless).

I wish that business professionals had more liberty to speak their thoughts, more freedom to be intelligent and stupid, for it would, in a way, help to sift through the insincere who wish to sell you something for a commission, rather than selling you something because they truly believe that it's the best or it could truly benefit you.

On the other hand, I think geeks could learn something from business professionals. There is decorum, there are manners, there is a politeness that does not exist in the geek world except by individual choice. Luckily there are many that choose it, but there are no bounds to act accordingly as there are in the business world. I certainly would not advocate that geeks become business stiffs, typing their opinion on the next game or toy in a manner that is both insincere and incomplete. But I do wish that more geeks had the temperment and sense of a business professional, as I believe it would lead to more civil discourse than "you're a @#$%@#$% noob, loser!"

Note: People get pissed in business and say nasty things, but not as an opening sales pitch, usually as a parting shot to somebody that was "supposed" to have your interest at heart.

So, since currently I find myself in geekdom, and proud of it, I might add, I am pleased to be able to express my opinions freely here on this blog. I love that I do not have to guard my opinions behind a hidden agenda, and I'm free to be as intelligent or stupid as my pain medicine allows on any given day. I love that you can comment, leave your geeky thoughts and opinions as well and lively dialogue can exist. I'm glad that anonymous idiots (not saying anonymous commenters are idiots, btw) can comment as well and that I have the power to delete their hate and prejudice if the occaision demands it.

Geek speech doesn't have to be professional, it should do all it can to avoid a mighty pendulum swing in that direction, but it can learn something from a good, smart businessman. Just as the stiff in the suit can learn from all you geeks. May the two worlds never completely merge!

A Place in THIS World

I ventured into the world of blogging at the beginning of this year. The first month or so I posted once a week maybe (I think). But my inability to balance life and my blog caught up to me quickly. I had to learn that delicate balancing act and I got up and running once more, with one (1) semi-regular reader supporting my cause (thanks, as always, Larisa).

So when someone starts to blog, is there a strategy that they form to define themselves in the blogging community, or THIS world as I refer to in today's title? Some people create gold-making blogs, and blog about little if nothing else. Others create class-specific blogs, only discussing those issues pertinent to that class 95% of the time. I think no matter the type of blog, a few % of the posts we allow to be about a holiday or announcement or something completely different, as long as that blog sticks to it's core.

So when I started this I had a purpose, I had things that I wanted to say. My blog is based on the concept of Dualism, or the theory that considers reality to consist of two irreducible elements or modes (i.e. relating to the belief that humans are made of two irreducible elements [matter and spirit]). In WoW there are two irreducible elements, Person and Character. When I play I become the spirit of the character who is on my computer screen. I cannot separate one from the other, because my characters don't exist without the person controlling it. We share experiences together, feel things (not literally feel, I mean that would suck to be cleaved by an axe in real life), laugh and cry at our successes and failures. Immersion into a fantasy world demands from me that I attempt to become one with my toon.

It's always with this in mind that I write about things, and will continue to do so. Bots aside, every toon we pass in the streets or the killing fields on Azeroth is a real person, a fact that is often discarded or taken for granted. I can't explain bad behavior, I don't think I'm smart enough to guess correctly why there are jerks in the game. But there are jerks in real life, everywhere we go. WoW, in that respect, is no different. I poke fun at these discourteous souls because they are easy targets, but am I much better than they? I hope I am; I make fun of bad behavior in general, I never attack someone specifically with cold, calculated malice.

Real lives interfere with the game quite often, well more for some than others. For me it's quite often. Most recently I had to suspend my raiding activities due to serious physical disabilities, I could not handle the stress raiding placed on my physical being. But this act, although necessary and understood by my guild, has had a negative impact on my raid team. Since my departure they have been hard pressed to find a suitable replacement healer, a fact I was made aware of just last night. I felt sorry for them, I knew that it was my abscence that has evidently stalled them. I can't speak to their recruiting efforts, I assume they are trying. But as Wrath is winding down, there seems to be greater difficulty in recruiting sufficiently geared and skilled replacements.

For a moment last night I felt the subtle peer pressure upon my mind, pressure to return to the group that wants me to come back, but knows that I cannot. That sentiment lasted for about 10 seconds, then another image passed through my mind. I was lying on a blanket in the middle of the park with my two boys. It's 7:30 at night, the sun has gone down over the western mountains but there's still enough light that the stars are not yet visible. This scene could never have taken place if I was breaking my body for a few hours of raiding because I felt guilty for abandoning my guildmates. That guilt is quickly wahsed away in the knowledge that I made the right choice. I'm trying to heal, trying to get myself well so that I can go back and contribute some day.

Our lives, our games, they can both have significant affects on our lives. Gaming is no passing fancy for many people, young or old. It might be, but it doesn't have to be. Building model ships, joining a chess club, playing on a softball team, and many other hobbies are a part of our lives. They serve to expand our experiences in one way or another, and can be as small or large part of our lives as we choose. We find enjoyment in these activities, not because we separate ourselves form the act, but because we immerse ourselves in it, making it of worth in our lives.

For me, to make it of worth in my life right now I moderate my play time. This allows me to enjoy it while I'm there, and heal when I'm not. I don't believe in excess of any hobby, I think your real self can be stunted by making your hobby your job. (Unless you get paid to do your hobby, then you're just a lucky devil). I had to learn how to balance my blogging into my life, which included my games, now my blogging is a sub-section of that hobby that brings me smiles and enjoyment in an otherwise difficult situation.

Please, remember that that person you just ran a dungeon with is a person. It doesn't take much to say "Hi" or "TY". So do it. They just might say "hi" right back at 'ya.

Friday Controversy

Is there any media group (bloggers included) that reports or publishes stories with the sole purpose to cause controversy? I, for one, have never said something just because I thought that it would stir the emotions of any of my readers, hoping that they respond and get caught up in a storm of irrelevant arguments that I have no real position on. I have always stated what I truly believed, every time, but where those statements controversial? I don't care. I don't seek to create an issue out of nothing. I don't profess beliefs that are not my own. I've seen it done, I believe. Obviously I don't have proof, but we're all pretty smart, intuitive people here; would you honestly say that it doesn't happen out there in the blogosphere?

I could trick you, I could say that there's a possibility that I think X when I really think Y, but then again I just might believe Y and not care about X. Let's try it. Try and guess whether I truly believe what I'm saying here:

Namecalling is an acceptable practice where proof of my opinion can't be refuted. Idiots, morons, slackers, you name it, if there's a good reason for it I'll do it. More so if I can prove it.

Or how about this:

The game design is clear, end-game activities must be centered around raiding or high-end arena in order for a person to be considered skilled. Without participating in those activities, it's proof that that person has no skill and is most likely lazy and unimaginative. End-game raiding should be the goal of all serious players of WoW.

Oooh, here's another:

Beta is for babies. You heard me. Impatient, lazy, "know-it-all" types - these all describe those who participate in beta testing or even just want to participate. They can't wait for the final product, no, they need to lick the spoons and dream about the perfect cookie, all the while the cookies are burning and the game will never be as perfect as they want it. Beta testers actually hurt the game more than help it.

One more example:

Raid leaders who apply undue amounts of social pressure on a player to fill a role (such as healing or tanking) in a raiding guild are short-sighted and lazy. More time and effort should be put in by a raid or guild leader to build the right kind of team, a team made up of people playing the class/spec of their choice. For all the collectivist talk about doing "what's best for the guild", at what point in time will a guild do what's best for their members? If we claim to encourage people to play the game how they want to, we, the guild and raid leaders should accept this without hipocracy and recruit in a targeted manner, as opposed to being lazy and making your Ret Pali put together a tanking set.

Do I believe what I just said in any of the above comments? Maybe yes, maybe no. As a blogger I have power, power over what I put on my site. I can, if I choose, put lies and false beliefs, or I can say what I really mean. You, the reader, never know the difference unless 1) I state it absolutely what is real and what is fake and 2) You believe I am honest in said statements.

I am sick of watching news on TV and seeing pundits proclaim opinions that are not their own. I'm sick of watching my own countrymen and women spew forth political beliefs that they are just repeating off the TV, which are not honest opinions to begin with. I hope, sincerely hope, that there are no WoW bloggers out there that do this, I hope that I can be assured that what I read is what you think. It makes it far more difficult for me to trust you if I have no idea where you stand. I don't care if I agree or not, just give it to me how you see it.

Aside from the examples in this post, which I'll leave to your guess as to whether I believe them or not (just for fun...just this once), you can always know that what you get from me is the truth. At least, as I see it. I've got my opinions, and I'll never share anything that isn't mine.

That's all, for now. Have a great weekend!

Life and WoW

I know I don't have many readers, but those few who have stopped by I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I was recently laid off from work, hence the break in my blog posts. It's never fun losing a job, I especially hate it because I have a family that I need to take care of, and not working places a lot of stress on my already broken body.

But stay tuned, I'm back and ready to party. I'm ready to refer to great literature, music, plays, movies and real life to help me understand better the people I interact with, the game I love, and the motives behind everything.

Today is a maintenance day, actually, and as I wait I am writing this post.

And oh, by the way, I finally got a second character to level 80, a Priest of the Shadow/Disc nature. I love her split personality, it makes for an all interesting day. "For the light...shadow...light...shadow...ah whatever, you're going down Festergut!"

My next post will be titled "Pigeondudderdabelly". What? Come back tomorrow and find out.