Pain. Agony. My lonliness burns through the cavernous caverns and this awful smelling cave..."Hold on, wait just a second! Did you see this place? I mean, really, get an interior decorator in here and give me a new lyricist cause these words are just, DANG!"
Ok, enough making fun of the Cataclysm Cinematic. Yes, the writing could have been better. I am not here today to talk about that. I'm looking for a bit of advice, and maybe your soul too, if your offering. A couple or few months back, I can't remember exactly, I realm transferred my levl 80 DK from my main's realm (Malfurion-US) to Llane-US. I had to change his name, bummer, but he now rocks that joint as the only Trezzoth in all of Azeroth. Go figure!
I sent him there for two very specific purposes: 1) to help my boys level their characters by providing them with occaisional mats, gear purchases (I don't give them gold, I work with them if they need a big upgrade, but it'll always be nothing more than a green item of the AH that is more appropriate for their level). And what else? Let's see, oh yes, I brought many of the heirloom gear items from my main's realm - which, by the way, I have but all replaced for my Worgen whatevers that I'll be rolling in Cata. Reason #2) To get away, find some peace and quiet, free of guild chatter, social pressures, raiding requests, and so forth.
For these months everything has worked out perfectly. Although my play time is far more casual as a non-raider (currently), the whole peace and quiet thing is pretty easy to come by any time I want. Because of that, something else has taken it's place, anxiety. My DK is beginning to become anxious about Cataclysm. Why? Because he stands guildless. The anxiety is not due to the loss of guild perks that many others will enjoy, I believe rather that it stems from a desire to want to get to know new people on a new realm but I'm really scared to do so.
Despite my putting myself out there on this blog for all you hundreds of thousands of readers to see, I am still quite introverted and incredibly shy. My main's guild grew out of a merger, and my initial guild that I joined when I hit 80 was as a result from a compelling recruitment post in Icecrown general chat. I had responded to the post and talked with the GL for 30 minutes before joining. Everything else just flowed from there. But here I am now, a max level toon on another server, and I don't know a soul. I no longer feel peace but emptiness when I log on to Trezzoth. I really do want to talk to people, to come out of my shell more, but the same anxiety that drives me to meet people keeps me away from them. Each force pulls simultaneously and equally strong, and I'm being ripped apart.
So, what do I do? I tried going online and checking a couple popular sites (including the official forums) for any guilds recruiting for anything that isn't HM1CC25/RS (Need Holy Priest, Feral Druid w/0/33/3 spec). Plus, and this is where the forums are messed up, the recruitments aren't sorted by realm, that I can see. What else have I done? Well, I try to pick up the weekly and try to be somewhat conversational during the 10 minutes I'm with people of the same realm. My thought is that maybe I'll click with someone or I'll be asked why I'm guildless or I'll be inspired to speak up to someone who impresses me. But so far I've had no inspiration or any conversation that would lead to becomming part of a guild.
I also keep my eyes posted to chat, because I've noticed that guilds have started recruiting again in preparation for Cataclysm. Knowing that numbers are good, the more the better in many cases, I'm keeping my eyes out for a guild that meets my needs. Which are:
*Mature (knowing when and where it's appropriate to use certain language)
*Friendly (I will not stand for a guild with people who troll)
*Allow and encourage any/all activty (raiding, pvp, RP, laughing, etc)
*Active - One thing that bugged me that I learned while leveling is that many casual guilds recruit heavily only to find their players never logging in. So one week you'll have 15 people online, and a month later you are flying solo day after day. I don't want that kind of guild.
*A guild with connections, friendly with other guilds who raid. Even though I don't raid right now, I'm rehabbing my back so that one day I'll be able to get back into it. I'm terribly excited to raid in Cataclysm, I don't want Wrath to be my only experience. Especially considering that by the time I was raiding seriously, Naxx & Ulduar were obsolete and ICC was the new IT thing to do (ToC remained something that people did who were desperate for 1 more thing or just really, really bored). I want to be able to experience the first tiers of raiding, but I need time to be phycially strong enough to do it, which means I need a guild who is casual enough to let me hang but progressive enough to want to raid as well...eventually.
I know, I'm a hard case at best. I have strange and diverse needs, and they often are conflicting and don't make much sense. But there they are, as murky as ever. I've seen what happens to people who post in chat "LF Guild", as they get lambasted and told to 'be specific', etc. Do I post a reverse recruiting message of my own with my own requirements (shortened, of course)? It's a possibility. Are there other resources that I don't know about that I can tap into to find guilds that may meet my needs and I theirs? If I knew, I wouldn't be asking.
It's remarkable to me how I've gone from someone who didn't want interaction with anyone to somebody who craves it as much as I do now. I wonder if other people go through similar things in their games. Have you had a change like this before? How did you resolve it?
Introverts want interaction with others, I believe, they're just too afraid to make the first move, like me. Yes, some may always feel like they want to be left alone, but I think even those fine folk want to feel like they are a part of something, something that involves the good will of other people.
If you know anyone on Llane-US (Alliance side, I'm not faction changing), let me know so I can given them a shout-out. Thanks!