It's annoying, really, how real life can get in the way of a good game. My oldest son makes me aware of this often when I ask him to take out the trash while he's on the XBox. 'C'mon dad, I'm almost done, just give me a few more minutes.' Yep, life gets in the way of his enjoyment big time!
I want to immerse myself, or at the very least take some time out of my life to enjoy some good stories or a fun quest or getting Gronthe to 80 (I'm so close, 79 and more than half way there). But life doesn't always let you finish, sometimes life wants you to take out the trash and it means NOW!!!
I don't apologize for not writing for over a week. I mean, who am I offending? My readership is small, but THE BEST IN THE WORLD, yet I feel as if I've been caged, hutched and desperate, unable to express myself in the most free way that I've found yet.
We live, we play, we love, we cry, our pulses race and our emotions are stirred. I've worked with people I viewed as cold-hearted, persons who believed that work was the only life worth living. I personally felt pity for them as I did not share that same sentiment. I've always believed that good leisure time was a good life spent. To take those precious minutes or longer each day to rest the mind and the heart, to escape the troubles of life and the pressures of work is a gift to oneself that should not be denied. But still some denied themselves time with...themselves. And done in the name and for the sake of money, power, prestiege, and show.
In times and seasons of change, where an old world is coming to an end and the ravaged world of Deathwing is upon our doorsteps, life interrupts the liesure and gaming of the strongest and the weakest of us. For some life has more to say, for others its existence is evidenced occaisionally while the "me time" that one enjoys is of longer duration than another. So now priorities must be examined and a plan of action followed. How boring, right? Yet life won't accept you if you take "just a few more minutes", it needs to be attended to, and it needs it right NOW!!!
I don't hide the workings of my personal life, for if I've said it once I've said it again, and is the basis for this blog, that me and my toon are one. When one experiences grief, so does the other. When my raids failed, my life was affected (or so my wife complained often). When life failed, it affected those that I created and played with over hundreds of levels.
Life, games, it's all connected to me. Why? Because real people play games. People with blood flowing through their veins and electric signals being passed along the corridors of the brain. These people, you and me, we control our toons, and our toons influence us. Or the world our toons live in influence us, and can change habits that we develop in real life. So it is that we're always connected, and I'll never stop talking about my real life here. It's who I am, and what I do, and nobody will stop me. You can stop reading, that would suck, but I'll continue to write.
That said, I'm in a season of change. I'm recently unemployed in one of the worst job markets in the US of A. I'm handicap with a disability that is only getting worse. I'm a shell of my former poetential self, and don't know where or how I will keep a roof over my wife and kid's heads two months from now. Forget Christmas, I've already told my kids it ain't happening this year. But the amazing thing is this, and listen closely, I still try to make time to sit down with my eight year old boy and play some wow when I can. Why? Because it's him...and me...us...together...sharing something we both love, and we laugh and sing and dance and cry together and love it.
Ladies and gentelmen, don't ever think that the interruptions of life need to stop you from taking some leisure time with yourself, and if you have some, with your kids. Mental health is important, and money isn't the only thing in this world that lifts us up out of slums. Love, family, friends, and even the companionship of friendly guildies that you probably have never seen can make your life better, even when life not only interrupts your life but throws a screw ball at your head (baseball reference, Congrats to the SF Giants for winning the World Series). In my case, my employer, after knowing that I just picked up my wife after a week in a hospital and hours from potential death, sent me packing with little pity in their eyes and fat wallets in their pockets. Curse them!
But bless you, dear readers! I am not gone, I'm just interrupted by life and have to take out the trash. I'm around and will continue to bring you music (yes, I rememered, but as I've said life is sucking right now and demanding much more time of me than anticipated, but I WILL NOT back out on my promise to deliver a really bad musical song). I will continue to offer opinions, share stories, report fake news, and ponder endlessly about the connection between us and the games we play. Until next time, adieu!
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Monday, November 1, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Preferences - Guild Structures - People: And What's Important
As clearly stated here on the front page of my blog I live in Las Vegas, NV. You will never find out my real name, so good luck stalking me. I also went to college here and am a big supporter of the basketball program, the Runnin' Rebels. A college basketball super-power from the mid 70's to early 90's, we defeated Duke in the national championship game in 1990 by the largest margin of victory ever in a championship game. Of course we lost the next year thanks to corrupt refs (bitterness on my part), but that's a different story.
Bottom line is, I'm proud to be a Rebel. The question is, are you a rebel?
Background
I don't pretend to know everything about guilds as I have not been a member of every WoW guild in history nor have I a degree in guildship. But I've been around, witnessed various leadership styles, loot distribution systems, and hierarchal structures. I've also been a student, reading about guilds online from some who have written books on the subject to commenters blasting their guild leaders. Currently, Gronthe (my Warlock), doesn't have a guild. One day I woke up and was guildless, don't know why. But my main raider is in a "casual" raiding guild, and enjoys it there...even if it gets weird at times.
I'm not very good at finding old threads on forums, so when I went to MMO-Champion this morning to try and find a post from about a week ago I failed miserably. Please don't laugh, I don't even have a cell phone, ok! I can code an Excel spreadsheet to reconcile over 4,000 transactions from a mortgage banker's 1 Billion credit line in 30 seconds, but can't find an old thread on a website...so sue me!!!
Anyway, someone was looking for advice because his guild decided to NOT continue their attempts on LK 25 hard mode, but rather move on to Halion for a while. The poster was attacked viciously, many reinforcing the same basic theme..."You do whatever your raid leader tells you to do...period!"
Overreacting
I may be an overreacting git here, but many of the comments to this guy made it sound like when you are in a raiding guild that you follow the raid leader’s wishes without question. If the raid leader says you're doing Naxx 25, you do it, no questions asked. It really surprised me, and it got me thinking about guild structures, rules, government, and other guild related subjects. I'd like to share a few observations and some opinions on a few of these topics.
Playing the Game Your Way...or the Guild Leader's Way
All too often I hear and read about people who play the game their own way, according to their desires, and don't enjoy being part of a group that tells them to play in a manner that's not conducive to moving the "fun" meter. I've seen people, bloggers included, encouraging others to play the game how they want to, something in my heart I support. Krizzlybear is another of these, playing and raiding as a Frost Mage and doing a great job at it.
But how many of us capitulate to a guild's request to play the game in way that we don't enjoy? Perhaps that’s too strong, maybe I should say we’re asked to play the raiding game in a role that wouldn’t be our first choice. Grow up a Fury Warrior only to have your raid leader tell you that you MUST gear up and become a tank? I've seen it. I've always made my preferences known to my guild that I’d rather not heal, but even so I was “encouraged” to become a healing Shaman, though that’s not my preference. Even though I do enjoy healing now, I mean I really do love it, I yearn for opportunities to raid as Enhancement. An argument I have heard quite often is that when you join a raiding guild you need to be ready to put off some of these selfish qualities and subjugate yourself to the will and needs of the guild/raid group, abandoning those things you may desire most for "the good of the group."
When faced with scenarios like mine or the Warrior, you come to a point where you ask yourself, "is it worth it"? Is playing the raiding game with these particular people worth playing the game in a manner you would not have chosen for yourself? You begin to examine your motives for raiding; is it loot, the challenge, the society, or something else. After taking a rapid look into your soul you decide, to submit or to be a rebel? I think my old college friends wouldn't take too kindly to my decision, to bend my will to that of the needs of my guild – we’re supposed to be Rebels. But at the time, as I thought the request a reasonable one, and seeing the need and my ability to fill that need, I decided that it was best to be a help rather than a hindrance. But was this best for me, individually? I can say with conviction, definitely not. For the simple reason that it’s not my first preference.
Governemnt
Also curious to me is how easily and readily people accept the guild structure at the raiding level. It acts almost like a fascist government, with some additional freedoms. Fascism seeks to organize people within a nation (or guild in this sense) according to "Corporatist" perspectives, values, systems (like political or economic). Corporativism "views a community as a body based upon organic social solidarity and functional distinction and roles among individuals". Corporativism is common throughout the world in many major world religions such as Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. It has also been found in many political ideologies such as, for example, fascism, capitalism and socialism. I found the evidences in Christianity most interesting, especially how it relates to the game.
A Bible author taught, generally, of a form of politics and society where all people and components are functionally united, like the human body. Is this not how a raid group interacts, how it's structured? All parts, tank, dps, and healers alike form one whole body, but each function important to the betterment of the whole. You will not succeed with the loss of any body (raid) part. The necessity to work and function together is essential, and this idea is that of Corporatism.
Further notes on the subject discuss how "In Italy, various function-based groups and institutions were created in the Middle-Ages, such as universities, guilds (a mix between a union, cartel & secret society) for artisans and craftspeople, and other professional associations. The creation of the guild system is a particularly important aspect of the history of Corporatism because it involved the allocation of power to regulate trade and prices in guilds, which is an important aspect of corporatist economic models of economic management and class collaboration."
Maybe to call guild fascists is too much, (definitely too much), but to call them Corporatists is not. Where fascism views violence and its use as positive, I've yet to meet a guild leader who used violence to marshal the guild into following him/her. Still, Corporatism is prevalent in all raiding guilds. If it's noticed that a thumb is missing (i.e. Holy Pali), then there is a recruitment period to fill that role so that the body can function as a whole again. But if one can't be found, often some Pali in the guild will be asked to build and offspec gear set and fill that role.
The raid leader has the power to regulate the raid groups, to ask someone to sit out or to invite someone else in. When a body piece is missing and somebody's offspec can fill that role, that raid leader can and should, according to many, demand the use of that offspec for the good of the raid. And the individual, in order to be a part of the Corporatist group, either feels pressure to fill that role so that once again, as I said before, the raid body can be whole and functional, or they do so willingly because they truly enjoy acting as different parts of the body. I think both scenarios can be good, depending on motive.
Disconnect
There is a disconnect out there that I can't fully understand. I saw a lot of comments (in this MMO-Chamption thread that I still can’t find – darn the internet and my ignorance) and opinions saying that you/I should remember that if you/I want to be a part of a team that we should be ready and willing to lay down our will and desires at the feet of the guild and raid leader and become whatever part of the guild body that is needed. But there's an awful lot of people that say "play the game how YOU want to play it". Maybe there is absolutely no overlap, and half the people who raid feel one way while the other half feel the other way. But if there is overlap, that can only be described as hypocrisy or sheer luck of being able to do have your cake and eat it too.
I'm in a guild with some who have to eat cake they didn't want, or have a cake they cannot eat. They don’t whine and complain that they have been asked to change specs for one fight, their willingness does them credit. I've seen it in other guilds, in discussions online, and I'm left to wonder what the reality is. In a game with such freedoms to do things by ourselves we're often reminded, once we get into group content, how much of ourselves don't really matter, and that collective consciousness is the only thing that's important. Maybe it's the curse of anyone who plays a non-pure dps role that they will be expected, or sometimes demanded of them to perform a role they would not choose for him/herself. But at what cost? What, of ourselves, are we sacrificing for the good of the group? Personal satisfaction? Can I be satisfied performing well in a role not of my primary choosing? Even if I grow to enjoy that role, deep in my mind I/you know that you're missing something.
Counterarguments
I’ve been the recipient of this counterargument a few times:
I am not just speaking for myself, because I have known far too many people who have given up their "favorite" spec to be part of a group of people that fit exactly who they are. Each of us seeks something different from the game, in small degrees, and from raiding. But I believe (with only anecdotal proof however) there are many people out there who have given up what they wanted when so many others didn't have to. Is it your fault you love playing a Druid more than any other class? You've played all the others, maybe have multiple 80's, but the Druid class just "clicks" with you, and you love it. But the only thing people ever want from you is to tank or heal (or whatever). You can't just "play another class if you want to DPS", because why should you give up even more of what you want just to be invited to the party or chosen to be on the team?
Recruiting
If I own a business, a bank for instance, it's my job to hire the right people to fill the roles to make the bank successful. I don't hire a janitor to be a teller, just because he does the home budgeting in his family. I don't hire a marketer to be an accountant, even though she does her own taxes. I hire people who are good at what they do and have proven in the past that they can get the job done that I need done. For the most part, it should be the guild and raid leader’s job to fill the open roles with those who have an expertise in that role. Need a tank? Recruit a tank, not a Ret and ask him to switch. Regardless of whether the Ret Pali is willing to switch, I think the raid leader should do all he/she can first to recruit a tank who’s first preference is tanking.
I understand that there are limitations in recruiting, such as server population. And with the large number of guilds raiding in Wrath, it makes sense to ask some of your current guild members to build that tanking offspec set, that’s what dual-specs was made for. My point, however, is that I think the “offspec” route is taken more often than the recruiting trail when looking for that tank. That’s clearly a result of the dual-spec feature, but whether it’s good for people is the question I’m asking.
An individual may, by choice, offer to perform in a job that he/she is qualified for but not hired for if they choose, but the more I think about it the more I believe that that raid leader is taking something away from the gaming experience of someone who doesn't want to, for example, tank. Yes, it is taking away the enjoyment of a game by applying social pressure to fill a role unwanted or not primarily preferred by another player. It's obviously different if, as a Paladin, you enjoy both tanking and DPSing, because both play styles are favorable to you. You made a choice to have them both because you enjoy them both. But I still believe there are many who take on that offspec role not out of preference, but out of the social and situational pressures. There is no compensation for the loss of time, even if the newfound role is enjoyed.
There's no compensation because you cannot give back time, it's impossible. Once time has been taken it's gone into the abyss of the universe, never to return unless a wormhole is opened and time travel made possible. It's sad that we've allowed ourselves to be subjugated to a collective thought, not all of us, there are many who find that their role is perfect, for fate was kind to them. Many truly love all specs of all the classes they raid with. And there are still many who like what they do for their guild, but it wouldn’t be their first choice.
A Bit Too Personal – But here’s Why I do what I do!
My bitterness is too obvious at times, and I am embarrassed for showing too much of myself here on the blog. But it's how I feel. So why don't I quit my guild and join another? Because for everything that was taken away from me in a particular way in which I could have enjoyed this game in my preferred role (however large or small that level of enjoyment could be), I have been the recipient of far greater rewards.
Camaraderie, understanding and empathy of my disability, laughs, a sociality that I was unable to find in many previous guilds. So please don’t think that I'm here railing on my own guild for applying that social pressure I find unwelcome, because one act does not condemn a leader. My raid and guild leaders have been more understanding and supportive of me than I have ever found, and maybe, just maybe could ever hope to find. I look forward to chatting and laughing and sharing weird stories with them every day, which lifts me up to a place where I need to be. All too often my physical disability weighs me down, depresses me in reminding me of all those things I cannot do. The sociality of my guild quickly lifts me up, so I continue to play the game in a role that's not my Perfect or Preferred Role, but I do it for all those other reasons.
I know I'm not alone, I know there are others out there who have traded a favorite spec for the friendship and sociality that came with their guild. It's not a bad tradeoff, but it is a tradeoff. In general guild and raid leaders do a great job running things. It’s a difficult job to put together the right groups with the right makeup, I don’t deny that. I guess in a perfect world (for me) those leaders would recruit more to the tastes of the individual, but that’s not their job. They need to explore all options available, and dual-spec offers a powerful option.
I am not claiming to speak for everyone, we all have different experiences in the raiding game. My thoughts are based on experience and anecdotal evidence, not on research performed at Stanford or MIT or even my beloved UNLV. But I think many of us do give up something in order to play with some really great people. They matter, for me it’s THE reason I give up what I do. What I get back in return is worth it and always will be.
In summary: Guilds are not fascist groups, they are Corporatists. Corporatism lives large in guilds today, and even though it's A form of guild governance, it's not the best. I’d like to see more freedom from social pressures, more targeted recruiting. I hope that Cataclysm will fix some of these issues by making more specs raid viable. Perhaps this will allow people to play more a spec they prefer and thereby give our server populations the variety needed to recruit all kinds of people.
I love the people I play with, they make my life more fun and my choice to do something I wouldn’t have at first chosen, one of the best decisions of my gaming life.
Bottom line is, I'm proud to be a Rebel. The question is, are you a rebel?
Background
I don't pretend to know everything about guilds as I have not been a member of every WoW guild in history nor have I a degree in guildship. But I've been around, witnessed various leadership styles, loot distribution systems, and hierarchal structures. I've also been a student, reading about guilds online from some who have written books on the subject to commenters blasting their guild leaders. Currently, Gronthe (my Warlock), doesn't have a guild. One day I woke up and was guildless, don't know why. But my main raider is in a "casual" raiding guild, and enjoys it there...even if it gets weird at times.
I'm not very good at finding old threads on forums, so when I went to MMO-Champion this morning to try and find a post from about a week ago I failed miserably. Please don't laugh, I don't even have a cell phone, ok! I can code an Excel spreadsheet to reconcile over 4,000 transactions from a mortgage banker's 1 Billion credit line in 30 seconds, but can't find an old thread on a website...so sue me!!!
Anyway, someone was looking for advice because his guild decided to NOT continue their attempts on LK 25 hard mode, but rather move on to Halion for a while. The poster was attacked viciously, many reinforcing the same basic theme..."You do whatever your raid leader tells you to do...period!"
Overreacting
I may be an overreacting git here, but many of the comments to this guy made it sound like when you are in a raiding guild that you follow the raid leader’s wishes without question. If the raid leader says you're doing Naxx 25, you do it, no questions asked. It really surprised me, and it got me thinking about guild structures, rules, government, and other guild related subjects. I'd like to share a few observations and some opinions on a few of these topics.
Playing the Game Your Way...or the Guild Leader's Way
All too often I hear and read about people who play the game their own way, according to their desires, and don't enjoy being part of a group that tells them to play in a manner that's not conducive to moving the "fun" meter. I've seen people, bloggers included, encouraging others to play the game how they want to, something in my heart I support. Krizzlybear is another of these, playing and raiding as a Frost Mage and doing a great job at it.
But how many of us capitulate to a guild's request to play the game in way that we don't enjoy? Perhaps that’s too strong, maybe I should say we’re asked to play the raiding game in a role that wouldn’t be our first choice. Grow up a Fury Warrior only to have your raid leader tell you that you MUST gear up and become a tank? I've seen it. I've always made my preferences known to my guild that I’d rather not heal, but even so I was “encouraged” to become a healing Shaman, though that’s not my preference. Even though I do enjoy healing now, I mean I really do love it, I yearn for opportunities to raid as Enhancement. An argument I have heard quite often is that when you join a raiding guild you need to be ready to put off some of these selfish qualities and subjugate yourself to the will and needs of the guild/raid group, abandoning those things you may desire most for "the good of the group."
When faced with scenarios like mine or the Warrior, you come to a point where you ask yourself, "is it worth it"? Is playing the raiding game with these particular people worth playing the game in a manner you would not have chosen for yourself? You begin to examine your motives for raiding; is it loot, the challenge, the society, or something else. After taking a rapid look into your soul you decide, to submit or to be a rebel? I think my old college friends wouldn't take too kindly to my decision, to bend my will to that of the needs of my guild – we’re supposed to be Rebels. But at the time, as I thought the request a reasonable one, and seeing the need and my ability to fill that need, I decided that it was best to be a help rather than a hindrance. But was this best for me, individually? I can say with conviction, definitely not. For the simple reason that it’s not my first preference.
Governemnt
Also curious to me is how easily and readily people accept the guild structure at the raiding level. It acts almost like a fascist government, with some additional freedoms. Fascism seeks to organize people within a nation (or guild in this sense) according to "Corporatist" perspectives, values, systems (like political or economic). Corporativism "views a community as a body based upon organic social solidarity and functional distinction and roles among individuals". Corporativism is common throughout the world in many major world religions such as Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. It has also been found in many political ideologies such as, for example, fascism, capitalism and socialism. I found the evidences in Christianity most interesting, especially how it relates to the game.
A Bible author taught, generally, of a form of politics and society where all people and components are functionally united, like the human body. Is this not how a raid group interacts, how it's structured? All parts, tank, dps, and healers alike form one whole body, but each function important to the betterment of the whole. You will not succeed with the loss of any body (raid) part. The necessity to work and function together is essential, and this idea is that of Corporatism.
Further notes on the subject discuss how "In Italy, various function-based groups and institutions were created in the Middle-Ages, such as universities, guilds (a mix between a union, cartel & secret society) for artisans and craftspeople, and other professional associations. The creation of the guild system is a particularly important aspect of the history of Corporatism because it involved the allocation of power to regulate trade and prices in guilds, which is an important aspect of corporatist economic models of economic management and class collaboration."
Maybe to call guild fascists is too much, (definitely too much), but to call them Corporatists is not. Where fascism views violence and its use as positive, I've yet to meet a guild leader who used violence to marshal the guild into following him/her. Still, Corporatism is prevalent in all raiding guilds. If it's noticed that a thumb is missing (i.e. Holy Pali), then there is a recruitment period to fill that role so that the body can function as a whole again. But if one can't be found, often some Pali in the guild will be asked to build and offspec gear set and fill that role.
The raid leader has the power to regulate the raid groups, to ask someone to sit out or to invite someone else in. When a body piece is missing and somebody's offspec can fill that role, that raid leader can and should, according to many, demand the use of that offspec for the good of the raid. And the individual, in order to be a part of the Corporatist group, either feels pressure to fill that role so that once again, as I said before, the raid body can be whole and functional, or they do so willingly because they truly enjoy acting as different parts of the body. I think both scenarios can be good, depending on motive.
Disconnect
There is a disconnect out there that I can't fully understand. I saw a lot of comments (in this MMO-Chamption thread that I still can’t find – darn the internet and my ignorance) and opinions saying that you/I should remember that if you/I want to be a part of a team that we should be ready and willing to lay down our will and desires at the feet of the guild and raid leader and become whatever part of the guild body that is needed. But there's an awful lot of people that say "play the game how YOU want to play it". Maybe there is absolutely no overlap, and half the people who raid feel one way while the other half feel the other way. But if there is overlap, that can only be described as hypocrisy or sheer luck of being able to do have your cake and eat it too.
I'm in a guild with some who have to eat cake they didn't want, or have a cake they cannot eat. They don’t whine and complain that they have been asked to change specs for one fight, their willingness does them credit. I've seen it in other guilds, in discussions online, and I'm left to wonder what the reality is. In a game with such freedoms to do things by ourselves we're often reminded, once we get into group content, how much of ourselves don't really matter, and that collective consciousness is the only thing that's important. Maybe it's the curse of anyone who plays a non-pure dps role that they will be expected, or sometimes demanded of them to perform a role they would not choose for him/herself. But at what cost? What, of ourselves, are we sacrificing for the good of the group? Personal satisfaction? Can I be satisfied performing well in a role not of my primary choosing? Even if I grow to enjoy that role, deep in my mind I/you know that you're missing something.
Counterarguments
I’ve been the recipient of this counterargument a few times:
"If they don't want you as your favorite/chosen spec, go to a different guild. It's your game, play it how YOU want to."
I am not just speaking for myself, because I have known far too many people who have given up their "favorite" spec to be part of a group of people that fit exactly who they are. Each of us seeks something different from the game, in small degrees, and from raiding. But I believe (with only anecdotal proof however) there are many people out there who have given up what they wanted when so many others didn't have to. Is it your fault you love playing a Druid more than any other class? You've played all the others, maybe have multiple 80's, but the Druid class just "clicks" with you, and you love it. But the only thing people ever want from you is to tank or heal (or whatever). You can't just "play another class if you want to DPS", because why should you give up even more of what you want just to be invited to the party or chosen to be on the team?
Recruiting
If I own a business, a bank for instance, it's my job to hire the right people to fill the roles to make the bank successful. I don't hire a janitor to be a teller, just because he does the home budgeting in his family. I don't hire a marketer to be an accountant, even though she does her own taxes. I hire people who are good at what they do and have proven in the past that they can get the job done that I need done. For the most part, it should be the guild and raid leader’s job to fill the open roles with those who have an expertise in that role. Need a tank? Recruit a tank, not a Ret and ask him to switch. Regardless of whether the Ret Pali is willing to switch, I think the raid leader should do all he/she can first to recruit a tank who’s first preference is tanking.
I understand that there are limitations in recruiting, such as server population. And with the large number of guilds raiding in Wrath, it makes sense to ask some of your current guild members to build that tanking offspec set, that’s what dual-specs was made for. My point, however, is that I think the “offspec” route is taken more often than the recruiting trail when looking for that tank. That’s clearly a result of the dual-spec feature, but whether it’s good for people is the question I’m asking.
An individual may, by choice, offer to perform in a job that he/she is qualified for but not hired for if they choose, but the more I think about it the more I believe that that raid leader is taking something away from the gaming experience of someone who doesn't want to, for example, tank. Yes, it is taking away the enjoyment of a game by applying social pressure to fill a role unwanted or not primarily preferred by another player. It's obviously different if, as a Paladin, you enjoy both tanking and DPSing, because both play styles are favorable to you. You made a choice to have them both because you enjoy them both. But I still believe there are many who take on that offspec role not out of preference, but out of the social and situational pressures. There is no compensation for the loss of time, even if the newfound role is enjoyed.
There's no compensation because you cannot give back time, it's impossible. Once time has been taken it's gone into the abyss of the universe, never to return unless a wormhole is opened and time travel made possible. It's sad that we've allowed ourselves to be subjugated to a collective thought, not all of us, there are many who find that their role is perfect, for fate was kind to them. Many truly love all specs of all the classes they raid with. And there are still many who like what they do for their guild, but it wouldn’t be their first choice.
A Bit Too Personal – But here’s Why I do what I do!
My bitterness is too obvious at times, and I am embarrassed for showing too much of myself here on the blog. But it's how I feel. So why don't I quit my guild and join another? Because for everything that was taken away from me in a particular way in which I could have enjoyed this game in my preferred role (however large or small that level of enjoyment could be), I have been the recipient of far greater rewards.
Camaraderie, understanding and empathy of my disability, laughs, a sociality that I was unable to find in many previous guilds. So please don’t think that I'm here railing on my own guild for applying that social pressure I find unwelcome, because one act does not condemn a leader. My raid and guild leaders have been more understanding and supportive of me than I have ever found, and maybe, just maybe could ever hope to find. I look forward to chatting and laughing and sharing weird stories with them every day, which lifts me up to a place where I need to be. All too often my physical disability weighs me down, depresses me in reminding me of all those things I cannot do. The sociality of my guild quickly lifts me up, so I continue to play the game in a role that's not my Perfect or Preferred Role, but I do it for all those other reasons.
I know I'm not alone, I know there are others out there who have traded a favorite spec for the friendship and sociality that came with their guild. It's not a bad tradeoff, but it is a tradeoff. In general guild and raid leaders do a great job running things. It’s a difficult job to put together the right groups with the right makeup, I don’t deny that. I guess in a perfect world (for me) those leaders would recruit more to the tastes of the individual, but that’s not their job. They need to explore all options available, and dual-spec offers a powerful option.
I am not claiming to speak for everyone, we all have different experiences in the raiding game. My thoughts are based on experience and anecdotal evidence, not on research performed at Stanford or MIT or even my beloved UNLV. But I think many of us do give up something in order to play with some really great people. They matter, for me it’s THE reason I give up what I do. What I get back in return is worth it and always will be.
In summary: Guilds are not fascist groups, they are Corporatists. Corporatism lives large in guilds today, and even though it's A form of guild governance, it's not the best. I’d like to see more freedom from social pressures, more targeted recruiting. I hope that Cataclysm will fix some of these issues by making more specs raid viable. Perhaps this will allow people to play more a spec they prefer and thereby give our server populations the variety needed to recruit all kinds of people.
I love the people I play with, they make my life more fun and my choice to do something I wouldn’t have at first chosen, one of the best decisions of my gaming life.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Flying Solo
Disclaimer: This post will contain short stories, personal reflections, and in-game experiences in order to convey the message intended. If you wish for a more controversial, theorycrafted, or general topic you are welcome to return on a day that I touch one of those subjects. Today...is not that day.
I'm quite positive that my story today won't reach many out there. What I mean is that some won't be able to empathise with my side, while others just might. But that's ok, because this story is about one man's perspective playing a game he loves. Glean from it what you may, you are welcome to stay and participate.
Alone
I play this game alone. Yes, my two main characters belong to a guild, and yes there are some really wonderful people in that guild that I've had some terriffic and stimulating conversations with. But really I play this game alone. To explain further, I have NO real life friends that play WoW. There may be some past acquaintences that play the game, but I'm sure I don't know about it. Additionally, I do not consider any person that I've met while playing WoW to be a real friend.
Friend and Friendly are definately two different words with two vastly different meanings in my book. Friendly involves being open, warm, inviting, courteous, helpful, polite, and generally nice to others. Sharing times and moments of success or laughter with other gamers is a good way to pass an evening, I believe. So often those in your guild are friendly to you, and you reciprocate the sentiments because that's what guildies do. Being friendly is a skill many, wonderful players have. Many a night has gone by where I've encountered a dozen or more truly friendly people. The game is filled with all kids of friendliness for me, that is indisputable in my case.
As I said, I don't consider anyone I play WoW with as a Friend. Friend to me carries a significant weight and meaning. There's not one other player who has held me in their arms when a family member died. Nobody has offered to watch my children while I go to yet another doctor who can't seem to help me fix my back. (Granted, most don't live near me, but that's not the point). I'm pretty sure that nobody I have every played with would be willing to die for me. Whatever definition you or I choose for a Friend, for my part I can say that I do have many true friends that are a part of my real life. It's just that currently, none have the habit of embarking on a virutal life in the same realm that I have chosen.
Impressions
Definitions aside, it's always been an interesting journey playing this game alone. Interesting in that some of my experiences occured precisely because I don't play with anyone I know or anyone who I consider a friend. I'm a hard nut to crack as is, I just don't like letting people into my life until I feel that they are really serious about being a real friend to me. As a result I close myself off to a lot of people, sometimes to my detriment. Often I have seen two people questing together and can't help wonder if they always do that. Are those two real life friends? Maybe they are even married? When I see people like this bouncing around Azeroth I can't but help feel a little jealous for not having the opportunity to share my experiences with someone else.
I've gone on quests with guild-mates before, but somehow it always seemed like working in my back yard on a Saturday...instead of watching College Football. I've had to, out of courtesy and necessity, shared with a few guild-mates my physical handicaps because it's affected how active I can be with others. But even those times when people display simpathy for my condition, I may feel gratitude for thier kindness but I know they still can't be my friend. I have friends in real life who have come to my home to lift me off the floor when I can't get up. There have been others who have taken my children to the park because I can't get up and play soccer with my kid. I can't tell you how much I wish that they could enjoy this game with me, where we could be the two people to run around Azeroth together getting high on falling from the tops of mountains or raiding the lair of a particularly nasty bear.
I am happy to have real life friends who care for me and laugh with me. I'm happy to have friendly folk in WoW that I can play with. But oh how I wish that I could have a friend play the game with me. I play because I don't move around so well. I mean, I could watch TV a lot, but I don't. I already read A TON each year, so I'm still educating myself. Sitting at the computer for a couple hours a day is a relief to me, it's something I can do. I just wish that I could do it with someone else I knew.
Two Friends
I lied. I am not alone. My kids play with me...sort of. I only have one account, so they sort of just watch me play. But it's still a lot of fun. Last night I was in Pit of Saron, and upon approaching the final boss both me and my youngest son began chanting the opening words of Scourgelord Tyrannus together. It was innocent, fun, a diversion and a good moment with a boy I love. It may be cheating, to consider a son a friend, but since no other friends my age play this game, he's about the closest thing I get to playing with some kind of friend. And I love it.
Summary
I don't resent not having a real life friend to play with. I don't really care if it seems childish to want to have a playmate. Actually, I think it's probably natural. I've seen and heard stories of people in-game becoming real friends with others, I think that's great. I don't think it could ever happen with me, but that may come from my personality's unwillingness to let people into my life to such a degree that they could even approach friend status. Unless I met some of my guildies in real life, they will never be friends. I'll continue to play with these friendly folk, and be friendly in return. Perhaps one person, one day will surprise me. Maybe I'll strike up a conversation with someone who will one day become my best friend. I'm not completely closed to the idea.
If you have friends you play with, good for you. I really envy you and your friends. It's got to be a great thing to share such a unique, common interest. Thanks for stopping by and reading some of these words today. It was very...friendly of you.
I'm quite positive that my story today won't reach many out there. What I mean is that some won't be able to empathise with my side, while others just might. But that's ok, because this story is about one man's perspective playing a game he loves. Glean from it what you may, you are welcome to stay and participate.
Alone
I play this game alone. Yes, my two main characters belong to a guild, and yes there are some really wonderful people in that guild that I've had some terriffic and stimulating conversations with. But really I play this game alone. To explain further, I have NO real life friends that play WoW. There may be some past acquaintences that play the game, but I'm sure I don't know about it. Additionally, I do not consider any person that I've met while playing WoW to be a real friend.
Friend and Friendly are definately two different words with two vastly different meanings in my book. Friendly involves being open, warm, inviting, courteous, helpful, polite, and generally nice to others. Sharing times and moments of success or laughter with other gamers is a good way to pass an evening, I believe. So often those in your guild are friendly to you, and you reciprocate the sentiments because that's what guildies do. Being friendly is a skill many, wonderful players have. Many a night has gone by where I've encountered a dozen or more truly friendly people. The game is filled with all kids of friendliness for me, that is indisputable in my case.
As I said, I don't consider anyone I play WoW with as a Friend. Friend to me carries a significant weight and meaning. There's not one other player who has held me in their arms when a family member died. Nobody has offered to watch my children while I go to yet another doctor who can't seem to help me fix my back. (Granted, most don't live near me, but that's not the point). I'm pretty sure that nobody I have every played with would be willing to die for me. Whatever definition you or I choose for a Friend, for my part I can say that I do have many true friends that are a part of my real life. It's just that currently, none have the habit of embarking on a virutal life in the same realm that I have chosen.
Impressions
Definitions aside, it's always been an interesting journey playing this game alone. Interesting in that some of my experiences occured precisely because I don't play with anyone I know or anyone who I consider a friend. I'm a hard nut to crack as is, I just don't like letting people into my life until I feel that they are really serious about being a real friend to me. As a result I close myself off to a lot of people, sometimes to my detriment. Often I have seen two people questing together and can't help wonder if they always do that. Are those two real life friends? Maybe they are even married? When I see people like this bouncing around Azeroth I can't but help feel a little jealous for not having the opportunity to share my experiences with someone else.
I've gone on quests with guild-mates before, but somehow it always seemed like working in my back yard on a Saturday...instead of watching College Football. I've had to, out of courtesy and necessity, shared with a few guild-mates my physical handicaps because it's affected how active I can be with others. But even those times when people display simpathy for my condition, I may feel gratitude for thier kindness but I know they still can't be my friend. I have friends in real life who have come to my home to lift me off the floor when I can't get up. There have been others who have taken my children to the park because I can't get up and play soccer with my kid. I can't tell you how much I wish that they could enjoy this game with me, where we could be the two people to run around Azeroth together getting high on falling from the tops of mountains or raiding the lair of a particularly nasty bear.
I am happy to have real life friends who care for me and laugh with me. I'm happy to have friendly folk in WoW that I can play with. But oh how I wish that I could have a friend play the game with me. I play because I don't move around so well. I mean, I could watch TV a lot, but I don't. I already read A TON each year, so I'm still educating myself. Sitting at the computer for a couple hours a day is a relief to me, it's something I can do. I just wish that I could do it with someone else I knew.
Two Friends
I lied. I am not alone. My kids play with me...sort of. I only have one account, so they sort of just watch me play. But it's still a lot of fun. Last night I was in Pit of Saron, and upon approaching the final boss both me and my youngest son began chanting the opening words of Scourgelord Tyrannus together. It was innocent, fun, a diversion and a good moment with a boy I love. It may be cheating, to consider a son a friend, but since no other friends my age play this game, he's about the closest thing I get to playing with some kind of friend. And I love it.
Summary
I don't resent not having a real life friend to play with. I don't really care if it seems childish to want to have a playmate. Actually, I think it's probably natural. I've seen and heard stories of people in-game becoming real friends with others, I think that's great. I don't think it could ever happen with me, but that may come from my personality's unwillingness to let people into my life to such a degree that they could even approach friend status. Unless I met some of my guildies in real life, they will never be friends. I'll continue to play with these friendly folk, and be friendly in return. Perhaps one person, one day will surprise me. Maybe I'll strike up a conversation with someone who will one day become my best friend. I'm not completely closed to the idea.
If you have friends you play with, good for you. I really envy you and your friends. It's got to be a great thing to share such a unique, common interest. Thanks for stopping by and reading some of these words today. It was very...friendly of you.
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