On the heels of my conundrum yesterday, a trailing thought, lost in a daydream, walked right into the front of my head. Has that ever happened to you? It didn’t hurt, don’t worry about me. And the thought is in good shape as well. Some of us are fortunate enough to play WoW and other games with their RL friends. Together they can form groups, raids, guilds, activities, premades, whatever. Others come in solo, but are able to latch on to guilds, sometimes for better other times for worse.
Then sometimes we require, or at the very least desire, change. For those who raid seriously or who PvP seriously, there is often a process whereby they are accepted into a new guild. It’s called an application process. Although I’ve never gone through it personally, I believe that applications are used by high-end guilds and not your average, ordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill raiding/PvP guild. Classify it how you like, there are guilds that do and guilds that don’t.
In the real world we do similar actions when searching for a new job. There is usually some application process involved, followed by an interview, which results in either acceptance or rejection. When I was in college, I was taught that a great resume stood out from the rest. A potential employer will only look at for about 15 seconds or less. That’s it. That’s often how long you have to impress, to sell them on you as a candidate that they need to take a closer look at. So how does one accomplish that? I’m not going to give away my secrets (because my resume absolutely rocks the house). What I will say is that they need to be able to quickly see what you’re good at and what you achieved. Therefore, your information must be obvious.
With the need to impress, and the belief in many that they are capable of doing the job if only given the chance, some are led to exaggerate a little; some exaggerate a lot, although I’ve never been counted among those. They oversell themselves in the hopes that they can land the interview and then perform “well enough” to be considered for the job. If they don’t know something Mr. Exaggerate will say “just give it to me and I’ll get it done, sir.” While that may indeed work in some professions, it doesn’t work as well in a raid situation.
“Just throw me in the raid and I’ll DPS.”
Well of course you will, idiot, you’re a hunter. You are literally incapable of doing anything except DPS. Tell me something that will impress me, something to prove that you know what you are doing AND that you can do it better than the hunter I’ve got waiting in the sitting room flirting with the receptionist.
How would someone attempt to oversell themselves? They could make claims on their application of having reached certain damage output on a certain fight, but have no logs to back them up because their previous raid leader, in a fit of rage, deleted all the logs. How could the new guild verify the accuracy of the statement without taking that player for a trial run. But just like the “just give it to me and I’ll get it done, sir” guy, a trial run is what the person was seeking. This is an interview, in effect, a chance to prove himself. But in the attempt he opens himself up to ridicule if he doesn’t produce at the rate he claimed to. In the end, Mr. Exaggerate is rejected either because the guild had strict rules about presenting logs (which this guy could not), or was given the benefit of the doubt, offered a trial run, and performed miserably.
What happens when there is an interview process, and Mr. Exaggerate answers the questions but, according to the guild the answers are wrong. Out of desperation Mr. Exaggerate says that “according to all my theory-crafting, this has proven to be the optimal stat setup for my class/spec”. Once again, an oversell that’s difficult to prove. If Mr. Exaggerate doesn’t have the simulation data to present, it’s his word against the recruiting guild’s. And his attempt to oversell his knowledge is foiled once again.
The more I think about it, the more it seems that it’s incredibly difficult to oversell yourself to an organized, strict guild. Application processes tend, from what I’ve read, to challenge a player to prove his experience, skill and knowledge. Unable to do just that, the applicant won’t even get a sniff at a probationary period to prove himself.
In life we can use other intangible skills to get a job. Charisma, influential language, determination, short skirts or expensive suit (oh, people use what they’ve got, and I’ve known many a pretty lady use her body to influence stupid men to get a job before). We can give rehearsed answers to common interview questions. There are a lot of “tips and tricks” to a good interview – but one thing you’ll never see in any guide is “just be honest and be yourself”. No, it’s always about putting on a good show, because evidently employers are stupid and can be tricked. But an intelligent raid leader looking for a competent Holy Priest will have a hard time being duped by someone overselling themselves. Either they know what spells are optimal for fight X and encounter Z or they don’t. Either they know the mechanics of every phase of the LK fight or they don’t. And usually all that stuff gets flushed out in the application process.
In conclusion, I have come to believe that for those guilds with strict application processes, it’s nearly impossible to oversell yourself. Funny, because out in the real world, in places that pay you $60K a year, it’s far easier to trick your way into a job just by using some flattering words and coy misdirection in your conversations to keep on topics where you are strong and stay away from subjects you know little about.
I’ve never lied on a resume or in an interview. I’ve never lied to a RL just to get in either. But if I were given the choice of trying to dupe somebody, I would stay away from that guild who requires an application and go for the CFO position at Bank of America (who, btw, is a significant investor in ATVI).
What do you think? Is it possible to be accepted into a high-end guild by fudging your way through an application process by overselling your skills? Have you ever tried it? Shame on you if you did, but you can still admit it – it’s good for the soul and all.
Have an absolutely wonderful weekend. I’ll be working on my song still and planning the destruction of my employer, who laid me off yesterday. CURSE THEM!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
How Do Introverts Find Guilds?
Pain. Agony. My lonliness burns through the cavernous caverns and this awful smelling cave..."Hold on, wait just a second! Did you see this place? I mean, really, get an interior decorator in here and give me a new lyricist cause these words are just, DANG!"
Ok, enough making fun of the Cataclysm Cinematic. Yes, the writing could have been better. I am not here today to talk about that. I'm looking for a bit of advice, and maybe your soul too, if your offering. A couple or few months back, I can't remember exactly, I realm transferred my levl 80 DK from my main's realm (Malfurion-US) to Llane-US. I had to change his name, bummer, but he now rocks that joint as the only Trezzoth in all of Azeroth. Go figure!
I sent him there for two very specific purposes: 1) to help my boys level their characters by providing them with occaisional mats, gear purchases (I don't give them gold, I work with them if they need a big upgrade, but it'll always be nothing more than a green item of the AH that is more appropriate for their level). And what else? Let's see, oh yes, I brought many of the heirloom gear items from my main's realm - which, by the way, I have but all replaced for my Worgen whatevers that I'll be rolling in Cata. Reason #2) To get away, find some peace and quiet, free of guild chatter, social pressures, raiding requests, and so forth.
For these months everything has worked out perfectly. Although my play time is far more casual as a non-raider (currently), the whole peace and quiet thing is pretty easy to come by any time I want. Because of that, something else has taken it's place, anxiety. My DK is beginning to become anxious about Cataclysm. Why? Because he stands guildless. The anxiety is not due to the loss of guild perks that many others will enjoy, I believe rather that it stems from a desire to want to get to know new people on a new realm but I'm really scared to do so.
Despite my putting myself out there on this blog for all you hundreds of thousands of readers to see, I am still quite introverted and incredibly shy. My main's guild grew out of a merger, and my initial guild that I joined when I hit 80 was as a result from a compelling recruitment post in Icecrown general chat. I had responded to the post and talked with the GL for 30 minutes before joining. Everything else just flowed from there. But here I am now, a max level toon on another server, and I don't know a soul. I no longer feel peace but emptiness when I log on to Trezzoth. I really do want to talk to people, to come out of my shell more, but the same anxiety that drives me to meet people keeps me away from them. Each force pulls simultaneously and equally strong, and I'm being ripped apart.
So, what do I do? I tried going online and checking a couple popular sites (including the official forums) for any guilds recruiting for anything that isn't HM1CC25/RS (Need Holy Priest, Feral Druid w/0/33/3 spec). Plus, and this is where the forums are messed up, the recruitments aren't sorted by realm, that I can see. What else have I done? Well, I try to pick up the weekly and try to be somewhat conversational during the 10 minutes I'm with people of the same realm. My thought is that maybe I'll click with someone or I'll be asked why I'm guildless or I'll be inspired to speak up to someone who impresses me. But so far I've had no inspiration or any conversation that would lead to becomming part of a guild.
I also keep my eyes posted to chat, because I've noticed that guilds have started recruiting again in preparation for Cataclysm. Knowing that numbers are good, the more the better in many cases, I'm keeping my eyes out for a guild that meets my needs. Which are:
*Mature (knowing when and where it's appropriate to use certain language)
*Friendly (I will not stand for a guild with people who troll)
*Allow and encourage any/all activty (raiding, pvp, RP, laughing, etc)
*Active - One thing that bugged me that I learned while leveling is that many casual guilds recruit heavily only to find their players never logging in. So one week you'll have 15 people online, and a month later you are flying solo day after day. I don't want that kind of guild.
*A guild with connections, friendly with other guilds who raid. Even though I don't raid right now, I'm rehabbing my back so that one day I'll be able to get back into it. I'm terribly excited to raid in Cataclysm, I don't want Wrath to be my only experience. Especially considering that by the time I was raiding seriously, Naxx & Ulduar were obsolete and ICC was the new IT thing to do (ToC remained something that people did who were desperate for 1 more thing or just really, really bored). I want to be able to experience the first tiers of raiding, but I need time to be phycially strong enough to do it, which means I need a guild who is casual enough to let me hang but progressive enough to want to raid as well...eventually.
I know, I'm a hard case at best. I have strange and diverse needs, and they often are conflicting and don't make much sense. But there they are, as murky as ever. I've seen what happens to people who post in chat "LF Guild", as they get lambasted and told to 'be specific', etc. Do I post a reverse recruiting message of my own with my own requirements (shortened, of course)? It's a possibility. Are there other resources that I don't know about that I can tap into to find guilds that may meet my needs and I theirs? If I knew, I wouldn't be asking.
It's remarkable to me how I've gone from someone who didn't want interaction with anyone to somebody who craves it as much as I do now. I wonder if other people go through similar things in their games. Have you had a change like this before? How did you resolve it?
Introverts want interaction with others, I believe, they're just too afraid to make the first move, like me. Yes, some may always feel like they want to be left alone, but I think even those fine folk want to feel like they are a part of something, something that involves the good will of other people.
If you know anyone on Llane-US (Alliance side, I'm not faction changing), let me know so I can given them a shout-out. Thanks!
Ok, enough making fun of the Cataclysm Cinematic. Yes, the writing could have been better. I am not here today to talk about that. I'm looking for a bit of advice, and maybe your soul too, if your offering. A couple or few months back, I can't remember exactly, I realm transferred my levl 80 DK from my main's realm (Malfurion-US) to Llane-US. I had to change his name, bummer, but he now rocks that joint as the only Trezzoth in all of Azeroth. Go figure!
I sent him there for two very specific purposes: 1) to help my boys level their characters by providing them with occaisional mats, gear purchases (I don't give them gold, I work with them if they need a big upgrade, but it'll always be nothing more than a green item of the AH that is more appropriate for their level). And what else? Let's see, oh yes, I brought many of the heirloom gear items from my main's realm - which, by the way, I have but all replaced for my Worgen whatevers that I'll be rolling in Cata. Reason #2) To get away, find some peace and quiet, free of guild chatter, social pressures, raiding requests, and so forth.
For these months everything has worked out perfectly. Although my play time is far more casual as a non-raider (currently), the whole peace and quiet thing is pretty easy to come by any time I want. Because of that, something else has taken it's place, anxiety. My DK is beginning to become anxious about Cataclysm. Why? Because he stands guildless. The anxiety is not due to the loss of guild perks that many others will enjoy, I believe rather that it stems from a desire to want to get to know new people on a new realm but I'm really scared to do so.
Despite my putting myself out there on this blog for all you hundreds of thousands of readers to see, I am still quite introverted and incredibly shy. My main's guild grew out of a merger, and my initial guild that I joined when I hit 80 was as a result from a compelling recruitment post in Icecrown general chat. I had responded to the post and talked with the GL for 30 minutes before joining. Everything else just flowed from there. But here I am now, a max level toon on another server, and I don't know a soul. I no longer feel peace but emptiness when I log on to Trezzoth. I really do want to talk to people, to come out of my shell more, but the same anxiety that drives me to meet people keeps me away from them. Each force pulls simultaneously and equally strong, and I'm being ripped apart.
So, what do I do? I tried going online and checking a couple popular sites (including the official forums) for any guilds recruiting for anything that isn't HM1CC25/RS (Need Holy Priest, Feral Druid w/0/33/3 spec). Plus, and this is where the forums are messed up, the recruitments aren't sorted by realm, that I can see. What else have I done? Well, I try to pick up the weekly and try to be somewhat conversational during the 10 minutes I'm with people of the same realm. My thought is that maybe I'll click with someone or I'll be asked why I'm guildless or I'll be inspired to speak up to someone who impresses me. But so far I've had no inspiration or any conversation that would lead to becomming part of a guild.
I also keep my eyes posted to chat, because I've noticed that guilds have started recruiting again in preparation for Cataclysm. Knowing that numbers are good, the more the better in many cases, I'm keeping my eyes out for a guild that meets my needs. Which are:
*Mature (knowing when and where it's appropriate to use certain language)
*Friendly (I will not stand for a guild with people who troll)
*Allow and encourage any/all activty (raiding, pvp, RP, laughing, etc)
*Active - One thing that bugged me that I learned while leveling is that many casual guilds recruit heavily only to find their players never logging in. So one week you'll have 15 people online, and a month later you are flying solo day after day. I don't want that kind of guild.
*A guild with connections, friendly with other guilds who raid. Even though I don't raid right now, I'm rehabbing my back so that one day I'll be able to get back into it. I'm terribly excited to raid in Cataclysm, I don't want Wrath to be my only experience. Especially considering that by the time I was raiding seriously, Naxx & Ulduar were obsolete and ICC was the new IT thing to do (ToC remained something that people did who were desperate for 1 more thing or just really, really bored). I want to be able to experience the first tiers of raiding, but I need time to be phycially strong enough to do it, which means I need a guild who is casual enough to let me hang but progressive enough to want to raid as well...eventually.
I know, I'm a hard case at best. I have strange and diverse needs, and they often are conflicting and don't make much sense. But there they are, as murky as ever. I've seen what happens to people who post in chat "LF Guild", as they get lambasted and told to 'be specific', etc. Do I post a reverse recruiting message of my own with my own requirements (shortened, of course)? It's a possibility. Are there other resources that I don't know about that I can tap into to find guilds that may meet my needs and I theirs? If I knew, I wouldn't be asking.
It's remarkable to me how I've gone from someone who didn't want interaction with anyone to somebody who craves it as much as I do now. I wonder if other people go through similar things in their games. Have you had a change like this before? How did you resolve it?
Introverts want interaction with others, I believe, they're just too afraid to make the first move, like me. Yes, some may always feel like they want to be left alone, but I think even those fine folk want to feel like they are a part of something, something that involves the good will of other people.
If you know anyone on Llane-US (Alliance side, I'm not faction changing), let me know so I can given them a shout-out. Thanks!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
One Million Reasons!
"Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive."
-- Kim Etheredge, Terrell Owens' publicist
To sports fans, you'll recognize this quote. After it was reported that Cincinnati Bengals Wide Receiver Terrell Owens (not playing for Bengals at the time) allegedly attempted to committ suicide, Owens' publicist, in a statement to the press, made the above remark in reference to Owens' recent signed contract.
I've hired Kim here at Deuwowlity to make another statement, this time on behalf of goblins and gold-lovers alike: "Now you have one million (1,000,000) reasons to play WoW."
That's all I could get from her, oh well. She makes a point, which she probably got from checking out MMO-Champion today, where a reminder of sorts was given to us that the gold cap has been raised to One Million. While technically, it seems the actual cap is 999,999g 99s & 99c, we'll round up by one copper and make it an even Million.
Me
What does this mean? For me it means very little, as I've never even approached the gold cap that was in place currently. I guarantee, even if I play this game for 5 more years, I will never have 1M gold in my backpack, or even a total of 1M gold spread out over every alt of every realm, faction, or race, etc. I don't place much value on playing the gold game. There have been exactly three times where I have played that game, and each time it lasted no longer than a week.
The first was when I decided to save up for my epic flying training. It took about 2-3 days to get 5K gold, and I played the game for a few days past that. The second time was when our guild truly became a raiding guild, I wanted to save money for the large amount of gemming/enchanting/other stuff that was going to be needed, so I played the gold game for another 5 days and made tons of gold (per my standards - given I only was online a couple hours a day). The thrid and final time was after I stopped raiding and decided to save for Cataclysm. For a week I played the gold game on an even more limited basis (an hour a day or so), and within that time I earned nearly 10K for each of my two mains (YES I HAVE TWO MAINS, AND SOON I'LL HAVE THREE, WHACHA GONNA DO?).
So, it's not that I don't know how to make gold, it's that I choose not to.
Gold Sellers
-- Kim Etheredge, Terrell Owens' publicist
To sports fans, you'll recognize this quote. After it was reported that Cincinnati Bengals Wide Receiver Terrell Owens (not playing for Bengals at the time) allegedly attempted to committ suicide, Owens' publicist, in a statement to the press, made the above remark in reference to Owens' recent signed contract.
I've hired Kim here at Deuwowlity to make another statement, this time on behalf of goblins and gold-lovers alike: "Now you have one million (1,000,000) reasons to play WoW."
That's all I could get from her, oh well. She makes a point, which she probably got from checking out MMO-Champion today, where a reminder of sorts was given to us that the gold cap has been raised to One Million. While technically, it seems the actual cap is 999,999g 99s & 99c, we'll round up by one copper and make it an even Million.
Me
What does this mean? For me it means very little, as I've never even approached the gold cap that was in place currently. I guarantee, even if I play this game for 5 more years, I will never have 1M gold in my backpack, or even a total of 1M gold spread out over every alt of every realm, faction, or race, etc. I don't place much value on playing the gold game. There have been exactly three times where I have played that game, and each time it lasted no longer than a week.
The first was when I decided to save up for my epic flying training. It took about 2-3 days to get 5K gold, and I played the game for a few days past that. The second time was when our guild truly became a raiding guild, I wanted to save money for the large amount of gemming/enchanting/other stuff that was going to be needed, so I played the gold game for another 5 days and made tons of gold (per my standards - given I only was online a couple hours a day). The thrid and final time was after I stopped raiding and decided to save for Cataclysm. For a week I played the gold game on an even more limited basis (an hour a day or so), and within that time I earned nearly 10K for each of my two mains (YES I HAVE TWO MAINS, AND SOON I'LL HAVE THREE, WHACHA GONNA DO?).
So, it's not that I don't know how to make gold, it's that I choose not to.
Gold Sellers
I realize there are gold sellers out there who were just made happier that they can now horde more gold per account, but I don't really see this as a buff to gold selling. My opinion is that there will always be people seeking to break the law, and no matter the gold cap, those folk will find ways to sell gold just as they have done in the past. So while they may find the increase of the gold cap a benefit, I don't see that it will boost or curtail gold selling. The only thing that will curtail gold selling are strict regulations and even more strict enforcement. I'm not very tech savy, so I don't know exactly how to police it well, but there must be a way to enforce it better than whatever Blizz is currently doing (if anything).
Goblins
This group, more than any, should be excited about this change. They can now treasure approximately 4 times as much gold as before. What they will use it for I have no idea, but I'm sure they'll be able to find something. Maybe there will be a race to gold cap, perhaps one of these days we'll see some gold-making website claim that they hit 1M gold and they are the new, self-proclaimed Master of the Universe.
I say fine, let 'em have their glory, let 'em have their day in the sun. I'm all for free markets, and if they can achieve the new gold cap quickly without doing anything against the official Blizzard rules, then I say go for it! There are many legitimate and creative tactics out there for making loads of gold, and those that value that activity will be great at it and I applaud them for it.
Not Terrell
If given a choice, I'd rather be in Terrell's shoes than be first to gold cap. $25 Million real world dollars would be infinitely more welcome than $1M virtual gold. But I'm not Terrell, so I'll have to make due with a fantasy for now.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Let's Ride!
Greetings from the Wild, Wild, West! That’s right, boys and girls, I’m all Cowboy’d up and ready to ride (but not into the sunset). As RL settles as the dust about my feet, I’m suited up in my finest leather, my horse is strapped, and the path before me is now clear. Deathwing, I’ve conquered every watering hole from the Mojave to the Rio Grande. I’ve dueled with the biggest and baddest roughnecks this side of the Mississippi. I’ve seen my enemy use fire and ice, shadow and flame, so what makes you think I’m going to be at all intimidated by you?
Groooooooowl! Because I’m huge, and I just ripped the world apart!
What was that? A little wolfie growl? Surely not a big, bad, fire-breathing dragon! Yesterday I was scared of you, but the myth has faded just as your name shall fade from the history books of Azeroth when I am done with you. Ladies and gents, I ride into the Cataclysm, not away. Who’s with me?
My love of Priests cannot be overstated, because today I feel Renewed as I never have before. Perhaps it’s the simple life joy of having all my family again under one roof after a week of torment and distress. No, it’s definitely that, and a renewed hope that this time around there are new and bright paths before us, a faithful certainty that my wife will not have to go back into the hospital. How that changes a person! A renewed vitality has strengthened my love for the game I play, and for the people I play it with (and talk about it with).
What is in the past but things we cannot change? Memories, unalterable except through coercion and disease, refresh me, give me clarity as to the good things that come out of playing and out of blogging, of being part of a community that teaches each other and supports each other. All of this out of some strange common bonds that we share, bonds that shouldn’t exist if I gave myself to deep thoughtfulness. But they do exist, because we share, to whatever degree, small or large, an interest in a game that has spanned the continents and sailed the mighty seas.
And so we play on, riding towards a destruction of the world as we know it with fervor and anticipation unguarded. The world is slowly groaning beneath the feet of people who have changed, some believe for the better and some believe for the worse. Always there will be those that cry foul when a parent takes their ball away from them, and sometimes they do not accept the gift that is a new car or Hawaii vacation because they loved their ball infinitely more than any other gift that had been or could ever be given to them. Perhaps slowly they will begin to see the need to take the ball away from them. Maybe it was made in China and the paint used had lead in it, something the parent knew but the child was oblivious to. There’s a level of trust that exists, then, between player and dev. For all the feedback that we, the players, give, discretion will always remain in the hands of those who wield the power…for good or ill. If change happened just for change sake, I may stand and fight, but although I wear stained glasses, I can still see that change is a-happening for a reason, and it’s incumbent on me to do my part to make sure the change benefits as many as possible.
Cataclysm will change many, many things that we know and love. Changes to our own selves have been drastic in come cases (Paladin), less so in others (Resto Shaman – they were already nearly perfect). Let’s not stray into paths of ill-reason and high expectations, however. We will still be playing World of Warcraft, and many of the basic principles of the game are unchanging, as are my memories still. Rest assured that you will still do battle with Hogger, albeit in a slightly different setting than before. You’ll still wield the power of fire, frost, nature, arcane, and the Light, though you may pass through times of comparative power that you did not experience the first time around.
I’m an old fashioned New Englander, frugal and independent as any good New Hamshire-ite could ever be, and yet as I find myself on my homestead in the Wild West of the Mojave Desert, I’m now influenced by the past and the deeds of the great and even notorious Cowboys the Southwest has ever known. All the fear of the future that I once had is now gone. The trepidation of facing perhaps the most powerful dragon Azeroth has ever seen is assuaged, and the Rebel that I am (UNLV Alumn) is ready and willing to ride into the fire of a bright sunrise and take dead aim at those who would bring hurt and destruction to the world I love. The changes are inevitable, the path is clear, so on I ride into that chasm that is the unknown future, but not without hope, and not without light, and not without all of you. Let’s ride!!!
Groooooooowl! Because I’m huge, and I just ripped the world apart!
What was that? A little wolfie growl? Surely not a big, bad, fire-breathing dragon! Yesterday I was scared of you, but the myth has faded just as your name shall fade from the history books of Azeroth when I am done with you. Ladies and gents, I ride into the Cataclysm, not away. Who’s with me?
My love of Priests cannot be overstated, because today I feel Renewed as I never have before. Perhaps it’s the simple life joy of having all my family again under one roof after a week of torment and distress. No, it’s definitely that, and a renewed hope that this time around there are new and bright paths before us, a faithful certainty that my wife will not have to go back into the hospital. How that changes a person! A renewed vitality has strengthened my love for the game I play, and for the people I play it with (and talk about it with).
What is in the past but things we cannot change? Memories, unalterable except through coercion and disease, refresh me, give me clarity as to the good things that come out of playing and out of blogging, of being part of a community that teaches each other and supports each other. All of this out of some strange common bonds that we share, bonds that shouldn’t exist if I gave myself to deep thoughtfulness. But they do exist, because we share, to whatever degree, small or large, an interest in a game that has spanned the continents and sailed the mighty seas.
And so we play on, riding towards a destruction of the world as we know it with fervor and anticipation unguarded. The world is slowly groaning beneath the feet of people who have changed, some believe for the better and some believe for the worse. Always there will be those that cry foul when a parent takes their ball away from them, and sometimes they do not accept the gift that is a new car or Hawaii vacation because they loved their ball infinitely more than any other gift that had been or could ever be given to them. Perhaps slowly they will begin to see the need to take the ball away from them. Maybe it was made in China and the paint used had lead in it, something the parent knew but the child was oblivious to. There’s a level of trust that exists, then, between player and dev. For all the feedback that we, the players, give, discretion will always remain in the hands of those who wield the power…for good or ill. If change happened just for change sake, I may stand and fight, but although I wear stained glasses, I can still see that change is a-happening for a reason, and it’s incumbent on me to do my part to make sure the change benefits as many as possible.
Cataclysm will change many, many things that we know and love. Changes to our own selves have been drastic in come cases (Paladin), less so in others (Resto Shaman – they were already nearly perfect). Let’s not stray into paths of ill-reason and high expectations, however. We will still be playing World of Warcraft, and many of the basic principles of the game are unchanging, as are my memories still. Rest assured that you will still do battle with Hogger, albeit in a slightly different setting than before. You’ll still wield the power of fire, frost, nature, arcane, and the Light, though you may pass through times of comparative power that you did not experience the first time around.
I’m an old fashioned New Englander, frugal and independent as any good New Hamshire-ite could ever be, and yet as I find myself on my homestead in the Wild West of the Mojave Desert, I’m now influenced by the past and the deeds of the great and even notorious Cowboys the Southwest has ever known. All the fear of the future that I once had is now gone. The trepidation of facing perhaps the most powerful dragon Azeroth has ever seen is assuaged, and the Rebel that I am (UNLV Alumn) is ready and willing to ride into the fire of a bright sunrise and take dead aim at those who would bring hurt and destruction to the world I love. The changes are inevitable, the path is clear, so on I ride into that chasm that is the unknown future, but not without hope, and not without light, and not without all of you. Let’s ride!!!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Expressions
Introverts are a funny sort, I should know. We keep things bottled up until they explode, and when that happens good things DON'T tend to follow. But can they? Will they ever? A variable longed for in my life is hope.
I've been out of sorts this week. Preoccupied. My thoughts have been scattered and remote. I've been unable to think clearly; lack of sleep does that to you. Where are my friends? Where did my heart go? What happened to my inspiration?
Disclosure: I'm going to speak of incredibly personal things, so if you don't want to know or are not in the mood for that kind of stuff, please don't read on. I will do better next week.
Out of the Darkness - Or Into it?
Anyone who has read my little sliver of the blogosphere for any semi-significant amount of time know that I merge the personal with the game. I am a person playing a game, that there would be crossover is natural and inevitable, and each person experiences the merging of life and game to varying degrees.
Not long ago I stopped blogging for about a week, perhaps slightly more or less, because my wife had been hospitalized. Much to our shock, it's happened again this week. If it were just me and her that would be one thing, I may cry myself to sleep at night and not think twice about it. But I've got two kids who live to love their parents, and it's incumbent upon me to keep them calm and help them understand that their mother isn't going to die, will be able to come home, but unknown to us as to when. To help them deal the best way possible I need to present a strong exterior, or they will get scared. I need to encourage them to talk to me about their feelings, knowing the good that comes from expression. But I cannot reciprocate, I cannot lay my worries on an Eight-Year-Old child. It's not fair to him because he's not emotionally equipped to handle the stress of caring for an adult.
But my heart burns.
I have my parents living close by, and I have a friend that is in a position to help me as well. My wife's best friend helps by picking up the kids from school and such, so there's no lack of support in my life. But still I'm an introvert, and in order to function at all at work and around my kids I need to put on a cold exterior - if I don't I know I'll break down and absolutely lose it!
Music & Writing
I've changed directions with the song I'm attempting to write. Wait. Are you saying that you're going through with this thing, Gronthe? Go and be with your family, it's ok. As I was saying, I'm still attempting to write, and the reason is so that I can channel this emotion in a way that will be both meaningful to me and allow me to tether myself to the real world that I enjoy. Writing, blogging, is what I do because I wish to express myself, not to become popular and have 1,000 readers a day. So I'm continuing to write a song, but don't be surprised if it sounds familiar to my own life, but with obvious WoW overtones.
I play because it's fun and it helps to clear my mind. I play because it's something I can do with my kids, especially since soccer is out of the questions. I play because of my childhood, my teen years, and my adult experiences. I write because I have a hard time expressing myself vocally. Usually when I make the attempt I break down emotionally or end up stuttering myself into incoherent nonsense. Writing, though definately not a master, let's my fingers talk, let's my mind say those things I need to say when saying those things aloud would mean certain tears.
The Song/Musical
I'm still gonna do it. Out of the darkness that is the unknown fate of my wife has come feeling. If I fail to express this feeling it would result in negativity. I need to be allowed to be creative on my terms, and even at night when I know she's resting comfortably and safely, I will be channeling myself into song.
The music I cannot vouch for, I'm not a great musician, but the lyrics at the very least will have meaning, as much for you as they do for me.
Apology
I apologize for not being myself lately, I just can't help it. There are things happening in the game that I have opinions about, and I'll share those as both time permits and inspiration abounds. I may be working on my song project a little longer than I first imagined, but it'll definately be done before Thanksgiving, and possibly as early as next week. Time right now is never-ending. Days run into nights which turn into hours of waking and sleeping and confusion.
To everyone out there, I hope you are enjoying the changes in the patch. Late at night when I can't sleep I too have had the chance to feel the power given to many spellcasters, and it's a sight to behold. May your weekend be filled with good moments, memorable sights and sounds, and simple joys such as a fine game with fine friends. Good morning/afternoon/evening/night to you all!
I've been out of sorts this week. Preoccupied. My thoughts have been scattered and remote. I've been unable to think clearly; lack of sleep does that to you. Where are my friends? Where did my heart go? What happened to my inspiration?
Disclosure: I'm going to speak of incredibly personal things, so if you don't want to know or are not in the mood for that kind of stuff, please don't read on. I will do better next week.
Out of the Darkness - Or Into it?
Anyone who has read my little sliver of the blogosphere for any semi-significant amount of time know that I merge the personal with the game. I am a person playing a game, that there would be crossover is natural and inevitable, and each person experiences the merging of life and game to varying degrees.
Not long ago I stopped blogging for about a week, perhaps slightly more or less, because my wife had been hospitalized. Much to our shock, it's happened again this week. If it were just me and her that would be one thing, I may cry myself to sleep at night and not think twice about it. But I've got two kids who live to love their parents, and it's incumbent upon me to keep them calm and help them understand that their mother isn't going to die, will be able to come home, but unknown to us as to when. To help them deal the best way possible I need to present a strong exterior, or they will get scared. I need to encourage them to talk to me about their feelings, knowing the good that comes from expression. But I cannot reciprocate, I cannot lay my worries on an Eight-Year-Old child. It's not fair to him because he's not emotionally equipped to handle the stress of caring for an adult.
But my heart burns.
I have my parents living close by, and I have a friend that is in a position to help me as well. My wife's best friend helps by picking up the kids from school and such, so there's no lack of support in my life. But still I'm an introvert, and in order to function at all at work and around my kids I need to put on a cold exterior - if I don't I know I'll break down and absolutely lose it!
Music & Writing
I've changed directions with the song I'm attempting to write. Wait. Are you saying that you're going through with this thing, Gronthe? Go and be with your family, it's ok. As I was saying, I'm still attempting to write, and the reason is so that I can channel this emotion in a way that will be both meaningful to me and allow me to tether myself to the real world that I enjoy. Writing, blogging, is what I do because I wish to express myself, not to become popular and have 1,000 readers a day. So I'm continuing to write a song, but don't be surprised if it sounds familiar to my own life, but with obvious WoW overtones.
I play because it's fun and it helps to clear my mind. I play because it's something I can do with my kids, especially since soccer is out of the questions. I play because of my childhood, my teen years, and my adult experiences. I write because I have a hard time expressing myself vocally. Usually when I make the attempt I break down emotionally or end up stuttering myself into incoherent nonsense. Writing, though definately not a master, let's my fingers talk, let's my mind say those things I need to say when saying those things aloud would mean certain tears.
The Song/Musical
I'm still gonna do it. Out of the darkness that is the unknown fate of my wife has come feeling. If I fail to express this feeling it would result in negativity. I need to be allowed to be creative on my terms, and even at night when I know she's resting comfortably and safely, I will be channeling myself into song.
The music I cannot vouch for, I'm not a great musician, but the lyrics at the very least will have meaning, as much for you as they do for me.
Apology
I apologize for not being myself lately, I just can't help it. There are things happening in the game that I have opinions about, and I'll share those as both time permits and inspiration abounds. I may be working on my song project a little longer than I first imagined, but it'll definately be done before Thanksgiving, and possibly as early as next week. Time right now is never-ending. Days run into nights which turn into hours of waking and sleeping and confusion.
To everyone out there, I hope you are enjoying the changes in the patch. Late at night when I can't sleep I too have had the chance to feel the power given to many spellcasters, and it's a sight to behold. May your weekend be filled with good moments, memorable sights and sounds, and simple joys such as a fine game with fine friends. Good morning/afternoon/evening/night to you all!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
What is the benefit of Casual? Is there any?
Have you ever written a blog post containing nothing but questions? I wonder, would it even work? How many readers would be driven crazy by the incessant ramblings of a person who couldn’t formulate an articulate opinion and relied on the imagination or input from readers to draw conclusions?
How many of you laughed at those in trade chat last night as they asked “when do Assasination Rogues get Mutilate”, and be told “level 82”? How many of you felt sympathy for those players who had no idea not only that patch 4.0.1 would drop but about all the changes contained therein? Could there be an easier way to assist these needy souls and help them through what happens to be the biggest changes to class play since who knows when? Wouldn’t it be great to have a HELP channel? That’s a silly question, for don’t we already have forums for that purpose?
Who will champion the cause of helping the casual? You? Me? Nobody? Are there not already a plethora or resources for these players to access that give them valuable insight and proven, tested methods that will help the player achieve high dps, high threat, or high throughput? But are these people not called casuals for a reason? What could possibly motivate a casual to log on to the internet and perform a search for the best, new Unholy DK DPS rotation?
So when these casuals logged in, or tried to, did not they and you sit face to face with a blizzard downloader and then a new WoW Launcher? Did they not say to themselves, “oh, look at that, a new patch, I wonder what it has for me”? Are you in a position to deny that they said this to themselves?
So to you, Mr./Ms. Casual, what was the biggest shock to your system when you finally saw your character standing there before you with your talents reset? Did you quietly search your talent tree for those comfortable, safe talents that boost Shadow damage by 2/4/6%? Or did you open your heart in trade chat, admit your ignorance and ask for help from the general populace? Did you regret your decision to ask for help from strangers when you were told that the Mage class was being discontinued? Did you fire off a frost bolt just to prove those trolls wrong?
Alas, Mr./Ms. Casual, what shocked you the most? What did you say to yourself when you found that it would take you a month’s worth of heroics just to purchase one PvE heirloom item? Were you mad or were you pleased (for some strange reason)? Did you cry to see all your hard earned stone keeper shards disappear only to discover that they had been converted into Honor Points?
Are you a Druid? Did you mourn the loss of Tree of Life Form as you have come to know and love it? Are you a Paladin and are totally confused at how your DPS can go from 8K to 4K overnight, realizing that now you may have to actually do something to do competitive DPS? Are you a Shaman, realizing that all your abilities to clean yourself, save it be curses, was stripped and torn from you violently? Did you lash out to your family, your guild, other trolls?
In the end we learn a valuable lesson, do we not? Did we not learn that Mr./Ms. Casual has one advantage over all of us who learned about all this stuff beforehand? Did we not learn that to be casual and ignorant is one way to remain innocent and allow us to be truly surprised and have true emotional responses when changes (major or minor) come our way?
I don’t really have any answers, so I’m asking, what do you think?
How many of you laughed at those in trade chat last night as they asked “when do Assasination Rogues get Mutilate”, and be told “level 82”? How many of you felt sympathy for those players who had no idea not only that patch 4.0.1 would drop but about all the changes contained therein? Could there be an easier way to assist these needy souls and help them through what happens to be the biggest changes to class play since who knows when? Wouldn’t it be great to have a HELP channel? That’s a silly question, for don’t we already have forums for that purpose?
Who will champion the cause of helping the casual? You? Me? Nobody? Are there not already a plethora or resources for these players to access that give them valuable insight and proven, tested methods that will help the player achieve high dps, high threat, or high throughput? But are these people not called casuals for a reason? What could possibly motivate a casual to log on to the internet and perform a search for the best, new Unholy DK DPS rotation?
So when these casuals logged in, or tried to, did not they and you sit face to face with a blizzard downloader and then a new WoW Launcher? Did they not say to themselves, “oh, look at that, a new patch, I wonder what it has for me”? Are you in a position to deny that they said this to themselves?
So to you, Mr./Ms. Casual, what was the biggest shock to your system when you finally saw your character standing there before you with your talents reset? Did you quietly search your talent tree for those comfortable, safe talents that boost Shadow damage by 2/4/6%? Or did you open your heart in trade chat, admit your ignorance and ask for help from the general populace? Did you regret your decision to ask for help from strangers when you were told that the Mage class was being discontinued? Did you fire off a frost bolt just to prove those trolls wrong?
Alas, Mr./Ms. Casual, what shocked you the most? What did you say to yourself when you found that it would take you a month’s worth of heroics just to purchase one PvE heirloom item? Were you mad or were you pleased (for some strange reason)? Did you cry to see all your hard earned stone keeper shards disappear only to discover that they had been converted into Honor Points?
Are you a Druid? Did you mourn the loss of Tree of Life Form as you have come to know and love it? Are you a Paladin and are totally confused at how your DPS can go from 8K to 4K overnight, realizing that now you may have to actually do something to do competitive DPS? Are you a Shaman, realizing that all your abilities to clean yourself, save it be curses, was stripped and torn from you violently? Did you lash out to your family, your guild, other trolls?
In the end we learn a valuable lesson, do we not? Did we not learn that Mr./Ms. Casual has one advantage over all of us who learned about all this stuff beforehand? Did we not learn that to be casual and ignorant is one way to remain innocent and allow us to be truly surprised and have true emotional responses when changes (major or minor) come our way?
I don’t really have any answers, so I’m asking, what do you think?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Pre-Cataclysm Events Link
Here's a nice write-up of the pre-cataclysm events quests. It's practical and informative, I'd give it a read if you're interested.
Find it here.
That's all for now, have fun!
Find it here.
That's all for now, have fun!
4 More to Go Before 4.0.1
This is what I get for spending time with my wife last night. She wanted to hang out and watch some TV together, for lovey-dovey sake and all that jazz. I agreed, of course, because I have my priorities in the correct order (this is in reference to that delightful conversation between Syl and Anonymous last week...simply delightful).
I had come home from work, and my boys started asking me all about the patch 4.0.1 that'll hit today in the states, I guess it'll be Wednesday for Europe, right? Anyway, they were asking me all about the patch and if this or that talent would still be available, etc. It was not a delightful conversation, it was pure funjoy of a conversation.
After that we had some dinner (priorities again in order), watched some of the Monday Night Football game wherein Mr Favre threw another interception to lose yet another big game. Then I got on my DK. His name is Trezzoth, on the Llane realm alliance side, in case you were wondering. He's guildless too, if anyone would like him. I had server transferred him over to help "heirloom-out" my boys' alts, and one of my own. I took just about every heirloom piece from my main server (Malfurion-US), but still didn't have everything I wanted. My boys wanted me to go into Wintergrasp and get the PvP heirloom caster staff and 2H sword with Strength on it (don't ask me for names, I'm too lazy to look them up). I got those that that thrashing sword from WG as well, the one that sometimes does an additional attack.
After gettting that stuff I realized that I was a few pieces short of having every PvE heirloom piece in my bank. I could still use the shoulders/chest for Elemental/Resto shaman (it'll be a Dwarf shaman on this server), but I didn't have them. So Saturday I began to run some heroics for some quick badges, by Sunday night I got the shoulders. All that was left was the chest piece and I'd have EVERYTHING.
So when I got home last night and saw that I had 3 emblems of triumph, I dispaired, but I wanted to give it a go anyway. So after 1) spending quality time talking with and listening to my kids, 2) sharing a family meal, 3) enjoying some quality alone time with my wife, 4) doing other normal life things that take priority over WoW, I finally was able to get online and make a push for 40 emblems.
Queues were fast (about 9 min or so for my DPS DK), groups were good. By 11:50pm PDT I had 36 emblems, I only needed 4 more. There was a group trying to go Malygos (the weekly), but they only had 5 people and there were 11 min until server shutdown. I contemplated another random, but 9 min in queue would only leave 2 min to finish the heroic. I don't care how fast your tank goes, you can't do a full clear in 2 min.
So I was left 4 short. After all the prices are reset to balance around level 85's, heirlooms will be significantly more expensive for my 80. Sure, I'll have time to earn those justice points before 4.0.3 when the new race/class combos and world changes hit, but I really wanted it last night. Alas, 4 short. It wasn't the first time I didn't achieve a goal. I certainly don't regret taking care of RL first, I just wish I had an extra 30 min or so here or there.
I do hope anonymous stops by for a delightful conversation of my own, but I shant worry too much. There are literally 4,498 4.0.1 class guides, 2,674 UI guides, and 3,458 other general 4.0.1 news guides on the internet somewhere (those figures are accurate according to the aliens who tell me so). I won't do one here, unless someone pays me, but I hope you find something useful somewhere. I admit, humbly so, that I do know everything and any guide I wrote would be perfection itself, but I don't wish to make others feel bad. So I leave it to you fine folk to tell me what to do and how to do it. May your blades never dull, unless you're fighting against me in a BG, then don't bother fighting at all because you know you'll lose.
I had come home from work, and my boys started asking me all about the patch 4.0.1 that'll hit today in the states, I guess it'll be Wednesday for Europe, right? Anyway, they were asking me all about the patch and if this or that talent would still be available, etc. It was not a delightful conversation, it was pure funjoy of a conversation.
After that we had some dinner (priorities again in order), watched some of the Monday Night Football game wherein Mr Favre threw another interception to lose yet another big game. Then I got on my DK. His name is Trezzoth, on the Llane realm alliance side, in case you were wondering. He's guildless too, if anyone would like him. I had server transferred him over to help "heirloom-out" my boys' alts, and one of my own. I took just about every heirloom piece from my main server (Malfurion-US), but still didn't have everything I wanted. My boys wanted me to go into Wintergrasp and get the PvP heirloom caster staff and 2H sword with Strength on it (don't ask me for names, I'm too lazy to look them up). I got those that that thrashing sword from WG as well, the one that sometimes does an additional attack.
After gettting that stuff I realized that I was a few pieces short of having every PvE heirloom piece in my bank. I could still use the shoulders/chest for Elemental/Resto shaman (it'll be a Dwarf shaman on this server), but I didn't have them. So Saturday I began to run some heroics for some quick badges, by Sunday night I got the shoulders. All that was left was the chest piece and I'd have EVERYTHING.
So when I got home last night and saw that I had 3 emblems of triumph, I dispaired, but I wanted to give it a go anyway. So after 1) spending quality time talking with and listening to my kids, 2) sharing a family meal, 3) enjoying some quality alone time with my wife, 4) doing other normal life things that take priority over WoW, I finally was able to get online and make a push for 40 emblems.
Queues were fast (about 9 min or so for my DPS DK), groups were good. By 11:50pm PDT I had 36 emblems, I only needed 4 more. There was a group trying to go Malygos (the weekly), but they only had 5 people and there were 11 min until server shutdown. I contemplated another random, but 9 min in queue would only leave 2 min to finish the heroic. I don't care how fast your tank goes, you can't do a full clear in 2 min.
So I was left 4 short. After all the prices are reset to balance around level 85's, heirlooms will be significantly more expensive for my 80. Sure, I'll have time to earn those justice points before 4.0.3 when the new race/class combos and world changes hit, but I really wanted it last night. Alas, 4 short. It wasn't the first time I didn't achieve a goal. I certainly don't regret taking care of RL first, I just wish I had an extra 30 min or so here or there.
I do hope anonymous stops by for a delightful conversation of my own, but I shant worry too much. There are literally 4,498 4.0.1 class guides, 2,674 UI guides, and 3,458 other general 4.0.1 news guides on the internet somewhere (those figures are accurate according to the aliens who tell me so). I won't do one here, unless someone pays me, but I hope you find something useful somewhere. I admit, humbly so, that I do know everything and any guide I wrote would be perfection itself, but I don't wish to make others feel bad. So I leave it to you fine folk to tell me what to do and how to do it. May your blades never dull, unless you're fighting against me in a BG, then don't bother fighting at all because you know you'll lose.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Ultimate Troll Debate Guide
(Disclaimer: The following post is...oh, forget it. I've got nothing to apologize for. Enjoy!)
Teacher: What is a Troll?
Student #1: (Raising hand) A Troll is a mythological creature, believed to live in mountains, caves, or rocks. They are big, ugly, and stupid, and believed to turn to stone from contact with direct sunlight. Trolls can be man eaters, but they will usually go for any sort of meat, including Dwarf & Hobbit meat (the best way to cook them, however, is still up for debate).
Student #2: Pfft, student #1 is a real kiss-butt lol!
Student #3: As student #2 nicely describes, a Troll, sometimes known as an Internet Troll, is somebody who makes inflammatory comments on internet discussion forums, chat rooms or blogs. The primary goal of the Internet Troll is to provoke an emotional response from other readers.
Student #2: LOL noob #1, you just got pwnd!
Teacher: Thank you class, very well put #3. #1, you are correct also, but that is not the kind of troll we will be discussing today. I would like to take the opportunity to teach you, class, how to best formulate the most effective and logical responses to a Troll in an attempt to once and for all win the debate against them.
Student #2: This is so gay!
Teacher: On that note, shall we begin?
I. IDENTIFICATION & NOTIFICATION
a. The first step in the process is to identify a Troll. Currently, WoW allows users to /Ignore people for whatever reason they choose. Another player could be an ex-girlfriend, a bookie always asking you when you are going to pay him back, your 6th grade teacher (eew!), or in some cases Trolls, whose posts in trade chat are abhorrent to the point that you refuse to read the refuse the Troll is spewing. What we’re going to implement is another list, in addition to Friends and Ignore, it will be a Troll list.
b. A Troll List will help you separate people into categories, you know, just like segregation used to do. The point that 20% of the accounts on any given realm have placed any toon of another, singular account on their Troll list, that account, including all his/her toons, will be branded with a huge Scarlet T – for Troll. When they post in any in-game chat (trade, party, raid, etc) their name and post will appear in bright Scarlet. In this manner, any consistent trolls can be easily identified, no matter which toon they play on because it will be able to distinguish the originating account.
II. INFORMATION OVERLOAD
a. Branding a Troll is the first and most important step into effectively debating them. The second step is to gather information on the Troll. Starting with Enhanced RealID. Anyone branded with a Scarlet T will be required to purchase the Enhanced RealID tool in order to continue playing on an active account.
i. NOTE: Here we must note that Trolls are infamous for getting around silly things like “paid accounts”, so Blizzard has created the best authentication tool to date to cope with this issue. The Cyborg Genesis project was launched in the year 2007, unknown to the public. It’s goal, to infiltrate a person’s home with nanobots capable of infecting any human in the world who plays a Blizzard game with an electronic tracer. This tracer activates when the person speaks into a microphone or types on a computer. Any where in the world a Troll can attempt to login, under any free trial account, and he will be recognized. The nanobots will only be activated when a player is branded as a Troll. Thus solving the issue of Trolls using other people’s accounts or switching accounts or using free trial accounts to harass the playing public. This project, now unveiled, will allow us to further our discussion on the Enhanced RealID.
b. Enhanced RealID gathers all personal information on the Troll. Name, age, home and cell phone, address, height, weight, hair color, eye color, personality traits, family members and all their personal info, credit card information, social security # info, education, etc, etc, etc. All this information will be viewable to those who have placed this Troll on their Troll list. Knowledge is Power. And handed the keys to the knowledge of the personal information of the Troll, you are now in a far more powerful position to debate with Trolls than ever before.
III. THE SECRET POLICE
a. One of the great inventions of our age was the implementation by many governments of secret police, perfected by the Soviet Union in the 1970’s and 80’s. Now out of a job, former members of the secret police are available to you, the WoW player, at no cost except your soul. These secret police men and women (because women can be evil too) will be sent to the home of the Troll and can engage in a myriad of activities per your orders. See the following list:
i. Kidnapping
ii. Blackmail
iii. Torture
iv. Impersonating your favorite federal agency (IRS, SEC, Homeland Security, etc)
v. Brainwashing
vi. Singing show tunes on the front lawn of the Troll night and day
vii. Repossessing of home or vehicle
viii. Infiltrating the Trolls place of work, becoming their boss, firing them then black-balling the Troll in his/her community to deny them further employment opportunities
ix. Blogging (which falls under torture and brainwashing)
b. These secret police will do what Blizzard has never done, punish those guilty of Trolling. Just don’t ask them about their specific tactics, it’s a legal thing.
IV. ENTER THE DEBATE
a. By following the above steps, you have now placed yourself in a powerful position to debate the trolls in your chosen chat channel. You will see guaranteed results in the form of…no more Trolling, Trolling with apologies attached, Trolling with unfinished sentences (See Secret Police), and Trolling with beautiful, poetic language that fills your heart with such joy that you take that branded Troll off your Troll list.
b. You have now guaranteed yourself a victory over all Trolls. If you find that your success is accompanied by a never-ending guilt for having ruined the personal lives of one or dozens of otherwise innocent people, just remember that you are having more fun than you ever were before, and all that water-boarding was TOTALLY WORTH IT!
Teacher: What is a Troll?
Student #1: (Raising hand) A Troll is a mythological creature, believed to live in mountains, caves, or rocks. They are big, ugly, and stupid, and believed to turn to stone from contact with direct sunlight. Trolls can be man eaters, but they will usually go for any sort of meat, including Dwarf & Hobbit meat (the best way to cook them, however, is still up for debate).
Student #2: Pfft, student #1 is a real kiss-butt lol!
Student #3: As student #2 nicely describes, a Troll, sometimes known as an Internet Troll, is somebody who makes inflammatory comments on internet discussion forums, chat rooms or blogs. The primary goal of the Internet Troll is to provoke an emotional response from other readers.
Student #2: LOL noob #1, you just got pwnd!
Teacher: Thank you class, very well put #3. #1, you are correct also, but that is not the kind of troll we will be discussing today. I would like to take the opportunity to teach you, class, how to best formulate the most effective and logical responses to a Troll in an attempt to once and for all win the debate against them.
Student #2: This is so gay!
Teacher: On that note, shall we begin?
I. IDENTIFICATION & NOTIFICATION
a. The first step in the process is to identify a Troll. Currently, WoW allows users to /Ignore people for whatever reason they choose. Another player could be an ex-girlfriend, a bookie always asking you when you are going to pay him back, your 6th grade teacher (eew!), or in some cases Trolls, whose posts in trade chat are abhorrent to the point that you refuse to read the refuse the Troll is spewing. What we’re going to implement is another list, in addition to Friends and Ignore, it will be a Troll list.
b. A Troll List will help you separate people into categories, you know, just like segregation used to do. The point that 20% of the accounts on any given realm have placed any toon of another, singular account on their Troll list, that account, including all his/her toons, will be branded with a huge Scarlet T – for Troll. When they post in any in-game chat (trade, party, raid, etc) their name and post will appear in bright Scarlet. In this manner, any consistent trolls can be easily identified, no matter which toon they play on because it will be able to distinguish the originating account.
II. INFORMATION OVERLOAD
a. Branding a Troll is the first and most important step into effectively debating them. The second step is to gather information on the Troll. Starting with Enhanced RealID. Anyone branded with a Scarlet T will be required to purchase the Enhanced RealID tool in order to continue playing on an active account.
i. NOTE: Here we must note that Trolls are infamous for getting around silly things like “paid accounts”, so Blizzard has created the best authentication tool to date to cope with this issue. The Cyborg Genesis project was launched in the year 2007, unknown to the public. It’s goal, to infiltrate a person’s home with nanobots capable of infecting any human in the world who plays a Blizzard game with an electronic tracer. This tracer activates when the person speaks into a microphone or types on a computer. Any where in the world a Troll can attempt to login, under any free trial account, and he will be recognized. The nanobots will only be activated when a player is branded as a Troll. Thus solving the issue of Trolls using other people’s accounts or switching accounts or using free trial accounts to harass the playing public. This project, now unveiled, will allow us to further our discussion on the Enhanced RealID.
b. Enhanced RealID gathers all personal information on the Troll. Name, age, home and cell phone, address, height, weight, hair color, eye color, personality traits, family members and all their personal info, credit card information, social security # info, education, etc, etc, etc. All this information will be viewable to those who have placed this Troll on their Troll list. Knowledge is Power. And handed the keys to the knowledge of the personal information of the Troll, you are now in a far more powerful position to debate with Trolls than ever before.
III. THE SECRET POLICE
a. One of the great inventions of our age was the implementation by many governments of secret police, perfected by the Soviet Union in the 1970’s and 80’s. Now out of a job, former members of the secret police are available to you, the WoW player, at no cost except your soul. These secret police men and women (because women can be evil too) will be sent to the home of the Troll and can engage in a myriad of activities per your orders. See the following list:
i. Kidnapping
ii. Blackmail
iii. Torture
iv. Impersonating your favorite federal agency (IRS, SEC, Homeland Security, etc)
v. Brainwashing
vi. Singing show tunes on the front lawn of the Troll night and day
vii. Repossessing of home or vehicle
viii. Infiltrating the Trolls place of work, becoming their boss, firing them then black-balling the Troll in his/her community to deny them further employment opportunities
ix. Blogging (which falls under torture and brainwashing)
b. These secret police will do what Blizzard has never done, punish those guilty of Trolling. Just don’t ask them about their specific tactics, it’s a legal thing.
IV. ENTER THE DEBATE
a. By following the above steps, you have now placed yourself in a powerful position to debate the trolls in your chosen chat channel. You will see guaranteed results in the form of…no more Trolling, Trolling with apologies attached, Trolling with unfinished sentences (See Secret Police), and Trolling with beautiful, poetic language that fills your heart with such joy that you take that branded Troll off your Troll list.
b. You have now guaranteed yourself a victory over all Trolls. If you find that your success is accompanied by a never-ending guilt for having ruined the personal lives of one or dozens of otherwise innocent people, just remember that you are having more fun than you ever were before, and all that water-boarding was TOTALLY WORTH IT!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Who's on the Bottom?
No, this is not a post about women's tatoos, nor is it about how corporate culture only allows for men to rise to the top of the top positions. This is all about how honest you are...not me, YOU!
And when I say YOU, I don't mean YOU, rather I mean YA'LLS. Not YA'LLS as in just those who read this blog, but YA'LLS as including even those who don't but who post comments on all kinds of forums and blogs throughout the internets that Al Gore invented. I am soooooooo tired. Late nights, little sleep, worrying, fighting with the po-po (yes, I had a fight with a cop, but it was a civilized argument and I didn't get arrested). That's my excuse for my random thoughts.
Where was I? What's the point? Ah yes, honesty. I won't point to any specific comment from any specific forum, but I have an observation to make. Have you ever seen someone say (not an actual quote):
"blah, blah with this setup in X spec I topped the DPS charts every time...blah, blah, blah."
How many out on the internets are claiming that they are tops DPS? Over a year of reading blogs and forums I've see a whole lotta bunch of 'em. So many, in fact, I wonder who is coming in second, third, or even last among the DPS. By proof of sheer anecdotes only, it seems like EVERYONE is topping the charts, which means some of you are lying fornicators. Well, perhaps not fornicators, but definately lying.
The only way I can understand how so many top the charts is this: some of these people solo a lot. No, I change my mind, they are lying. Of course I have no proof for what I'm saying, but I don't need to, I don't work for a Newspaper who would have to fire me then print a retraction for calling people lying fornicators (sorry, did it again, I'm not really saying your fornicators). No, I have a tiny little blog that a few people read, and honestly I've never seen any of my readers claim what I'm talking about, so really I'm talking to the wind here.
Speaking of wind, Las Vegas gets really windy in the winter, which is approaching in a couple months. I'll keep my hair short because I hate combing it in the morning only to get messed up by the time I step through the front door at work.
The next time somebody says "X is why I always top the DPS charts, easy peasy..." I'm going to demand a recount screenshot or demand that they tell their spouse they are a lying fornicator!
Maybe I will, maybe I won't. It's all moot anyway since these people will probably never visit this part of the Al Gore internets. But if you do, here's my warning to you: TELL THE TRUTH! If you land 3rd, say it. It's ok to be third best behind two other really, really, really, really, really awesome DPS, there's no shame in being only really good. Just stop lying (notice I didn't say fornicating?).
______________________________________________
Song Update
I want to make something VERY CLEAR. I'm not setting out to write an entire musical, just a song inspired by muscials about the Cataclysm. One song! If I feel like more I will, but one song is all I'll do. I was thinking this morning, I'll probably be so embarassed that I'll stop blogging forever, just disappear, rename myself, and troll everyone else's blog till I get banned from all the Al Gore internets. Yes, that's a likely plan.
And when I say YOU, I don't mean YOU, rather I mean YA'LLS. Not YA'LLS as in just those who read this blog, but YA'LLS as including even those who don't but who post comments on all kinds of forums and blogs throughout the internets that Al Gore invented. I am soooooooo tired. Late nights, little sleep, worrying, fighting with the po-po (yes, I had a fight with a cop, but it was a civilized argument and I didn't get arrested). That's my excuse for my random thoughts.
Where was I? What's the point? Ah yes, honesty. I won't point to any specific comment from any specific forum, but I have an observation to make. Have you ever seen someone say (not an actual quote):
"blah, blah with this setup in X spec I topped the DPS charts every time...blah, blah, blah."
How many out on the internets are claiming that they are tops DPS? Over a year of reading blogs and forums I've see a whole lotta bunch of 'em. So many, in fact, I wonder who is coming in second, third, or even last among the DPS. By proof of sheer anecdotes only, it seems like EVERYONE is topping the charts, which means some of you are lying fornicators. Well, perhaps not fornicators, but definately lying.
The only way I can understand how so many top the charts is this: some of these people solo a lot. No, I change my mind, they are lying. Of course I have no proof for what I'm saying, but I don't need to, I don't work for a Newspaper who would have to fire me then print a retraction for calling people lying fornicators (sorry, did it again, I'm not really saying your fornicators). No, I have a tiny little blog that a few people read, and honestly I've never seen any of my readers claim what I'm talking about, so really I'm talking to the wind here.
Speaking of wind, Las Vegas gets really windy in the winter, which is approaching in a couple months. I'll keep my hair short because I hate combing it in the morning only to get messed up by the time I step through the front door at work.
The next time somebody says "X is why I always top the DPS charts, easy peasy..." I'm going to demand a recount screenshot or demand that they tell their spouse they are a lying fornicator!
Maybe I will, maybe I won't. It's all moot anyway since these people will probably never visit this part of the Al Gore internets. But if you do, here's my warning to you: TELL THE TRUTH! If you land 3rd, say it. It's ok to be third best behind two other really, really, really, really, really awesome DPS, there's no shame in being only really good. Just stop lying (notice I didn't say fornicating?).
______________________________________________
Song Update
I want to make something VERY CLEAR. I'm not setting out to write an entire musical, just a song inspired by muscials about the Cataclysm. One song! If I feel like more I will, but one song is all I'll do. I was thinking this morning, I'll probably be so embarassed that I'll stop blogging forever, just disappear, rename myself, and troll everyone else's blog till I get banned from all the Al Gore internets. Yes, that's a likely plan.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Two's Company
Every post for the next two or three weeks will have a dual purpose.
1) Continue doing what I do, writing about the connection between WoW and life and thier resulting issues (that and complete nonsense for the fun of it).
2) To give updates and ask for advice on my newly announced song project: WoW, The Musical.
__________________________________________
Should you look for a new job?
I'm curious, have any of you ever attempted to play in a role (tank, heals, or DPS) where you discovered that you were just not that good? I don't mean that 'it didn't feel right' or 'doing X didn't really click with me', what I refer to is a very real ineptitude despite hard work at researching and practicing.
For a long time I thougt that was going to be me as a healer, but I stuck with it longer than I originally wanted to because not only was there a need but I was grateful for a challenge. I wanted to quit, I believed myself really bad, but all it took was one small change and suddenly I became pretty good.
I tried tanking while leveling, but I found that I wasn't very good. I understood the priciples involved and knew my toolbox very well, but I don't think I had a good balance of awareness and quick reflexes to react to things when they went bad. I got too nervous and couldn't keep my cool. Bad traits for a tank.
DPS is natural and easy for me. Rotations make sense to my analytical mind, I find an ease in following a routine. Healing is in between tanking and DPS, and for a while I couldn't find that balance, but eventually it became a natural extension of what my eyes and brain processed, and I could react swiftly to problems.
Maybe I should go back to tanking now I have a handle on healing. Perhaps I wouldn't suck as much now that awareness has been learned. I still wonder, are some people destined to be 'bad' at a certain role because of some trait or characteristic of their person that is a barrier to success? I really don't know, I'm just thinking out loud.
___________________________________________
Now for the update on the musical.
I want to create a trio of singers, which may end up straining my voice a bit, but some lemon juice should help with that. I want it to be kind of a funny but dark song. In one corner there will be a Doomsayer who is mocking a poor, innocent Gnome about the impending Shattering. A struggle of wills, so to speak, will be the main theme of the first part of the song.
Just when it appears that the Gnome has found the courage to stand up to an elemental invasion, Deathwing himself appears to taunt the Gnome and bring him to his knees, all the while the Doomsayer laughing in the background, continuing to mock without remorse.
The conclusion is a surprise (or maybe I haven't got that far, you'll never know).
Of course this is what I have right now. I'm working out the lyrics and the melody currently, I'll figure out a way to mix some music in there as well. All of this, remember, is comletely subject to change at will. All I'm doing right now is to let you in on my creative process. Often when I start writing a story I think I've got a great idea but then it all comes crumbling down when I realize that I forgot a small detail. But this detail ends up being the cornerstone for the inspiration of a new idea or new story, and everything changes for the better. So please allow me to change my mind at will, as it may inevitably lead to something far better.
Remember also that I am open to suggestions, and will give full credit to any and all that help make this come together. I realized this morning when I woke up that I put myself in a pretty big hole, needing to deliver on a promise of something I haven't attempted in, well, never anything LIKE this. I have written songs before, but not with the aid of a computer. I shall do my best and hope it doesn't completely suck.
1) Continue doing what I do, writing about the connection between WoW and life and thier resulting issues (that and complete nonsense for the fun of it).
2) To give updates and ask for advice on my newly announced song project: WoW, The Musical.
__________________________________________
Should you look for a new job?
I'm curious, have any of you ever attempted to play in a role (tank, heals, or DPS) where you discovered that you were just not that good? I don't mean that 'it didn't feel right' or 'doing X didn't really click with me', what I refer to is a very real ineptitude despite hard work at researching and practicing.
For a long time I thougt that was going to be me as a healer, but I stuck with it longer than I originally wanted to because not only was there a need but I was grateful for a challenge. I wanted to quit, I believed myself really bad, but all it took was one small change and suddenly I became pretty good.
I tried tanking while leveling, but I found that I wasn't very good. I understood the priciples involved and knew my toolbox very well, but I don't think I had a good balance of awareness and quick reflexes to react to things when they went bad. I got too nervous and couldn't keep my cool. Bad traits for a tank.
DPS is natural and easy for me. Rotations make sense to my analytical mind, I find an ease in following a routine. Healing is in between tanking and DPS, and for a while I couldn't find that balance, but eventually it became a natural extension of what my eyes and brain processed, and I could react swiftly to problems.
Maybe I should go back to tanking now I have a handle on healing. Perhaps I wouldn't suck as much now that awareness has been learned. I still wonder, are some people destined to be 'bad' at a certain role because of some trait or characteristic of their person that is a barrier to success? I really don't know, I'm just thinking out loud.
___________________________________________
Now for the update on the musical.
I want to create a trio of singers, which may end up straining my voice a bit, but some lemon juice should help with that. I want it to be kind of a funny but dark song. In one corner there will be a Doomsayer who is mocking a poor, innocent Gnome about the impending Shattering. A struggle of wills, so to speak, will be the main theme of the first part of the song.
Just when it appears that the Gnome has found the courage to stand up to an elemental invasion, Deathwing himself appears to taunt the Gnome and bring him to his knees, all the while the Doomsayer laughing in the background, continuing to mock without remorse.
The conclusion is a surprise (or maybe I haven't got that far, you'll never know).
Of course this is what I have right now. I'm working out the lyrics and the melody currently, I'll figure out a way to mix some music in there as well. All of this, remember, is comletely subject to change at will. All I'm doing right now is to let you in on my creative process. Often when I start writing a story I think I've got a great idea but then it all comes crumbling down when I realize that I forgot a small detail. But this detail ends up being the cornerstone for the inspiration of a new idea or new story, and everything changes for the better. So please allow me to change my mind at will, as it may inevitably lead to something far better.
Remember also that I am open to suggestions, and will give full credit to any and all that help make this come together. I realized this morning when I woke up that I put myself in a pretty big hole, needing to deliver on a promise of something I haven't attempted in, well, never anything LIKE this. I have written songs before, but not with the aid of a computer. I shall do my best and hope it doesn't completely suck.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
WoW, The Musical
WoW, The Musical
Staring: Yours Truly
Lyrics by: Collaboration
Music by: Me
Rumor has it that some of you are in a transition. Within the wind of those same rumors I hear that there are some among you that want to discuss Cataclysm, while others don’t want to hear a thing and are simply waiting for Dec. 7, 2010. Wrath winding down, patch 4.0.1 in on our doorsteps, the world will be changing soon, and nothing says ‘hey, the world is about to blow up’ better than a great Broadway musical.
That’s right, folks, I am on the verge of doing something so totally embarrassing that I can hardly believe I’m putting it into words. But if I’m going to open my soul here, I’m going to need some help. First let me tell you what I’m planning, then I’m going to ask for some advice and a little bit of input.
This is the Plan
I love to sing, although it’s been a long while since I’ve been part of an organized singing group or had to perform for more than my own family. I also love to play Wow, so my thought was to write a song about WoW and sing it for you fine folk, right here on my blog.
I’ll begin to write the lyrics for the song and plan to present them to everyone for your input, revisions, edits, criticisms, and praise. After making final edits I’ll move on to create a tune, or a melody. I don’t have any musical instruments in my home at the moment, and am not very good with mixing voice and music on a computer, but I’ll figure something out.
Problem
The problem I have is that I don’t know how to record something and post it to the internet. Yeah, I’m not very pop-culture-techno-savy; don’t hate me because I’m beautiful! I don’t need much instruction, I’m an incredibly fast learner, but if I could get some tips on how to create a podcast or something from you fine folk that would be wonderful.
Performance
I used to sing and dance in musicals growing up. I played Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors (the giant man-eating plant). I also played Rolf in The Sound of Music (the boyfriend of the eldest daughter Liesl who turns Nazi in the end). I’ve performed as Gaston in a college musical version of Beauty and the Beast…funniest character I’ve ever played. I’ve sang in front of thousands of people dozens of times so I should have no problem doing it for people I’ve never met who can’t even see my face. Plus, I’ll get to record it so you won’t hear all the really bad takes, you’ll get the best one I turn out (meaning there could be some mistakes but I’ll be so tired I just won’t care).
I can do impersonations too, so if you want a little Garth Brooks or Frank Sinatra, I’ll turn my voice in that direction. But more than likely I’ll sing it how the song dictates it should be sung, which is a very instinctual way to do it.
Warning
It has been years since I’ve really sang, and I admit that some of my skills have diminished somewhat, so don’t expect professional quality. I was never a professional anyway, just a passionate amateur, something that will seem all too obvious.
Need your Help
So if anyone out there can contribute either technical advice or lyrical inspiration, I most welcome it. It will take a few weeks at most to put this together, so the faster I get your help the faster I’ll finish. All I can say is THIS WILL BE…INTERESTING!
Staring: Yours Truly
Lyrics by: Collaboration
Music by: Me
Rumor has it that some of you are in a transition. Within the wind of those same rumors I hear that there are some among you that want to discuss Cataclysm, while others don’t want to hear a thing and are simply waiting for Dec. 7, 2010. Wrath winding down, patch 4.0.1 in on our doorsteps, the world will be changing soon, and nothing says ‘hey, the world is about to blow up’ better than a great Broadway musical.
That’s right, folks, I am on the verge of doing something so totally embarrassing that I can hardly believe I’m putting it into words. But if I’m going to open my soul here, I’m going to need some help. First let me tell you what I’m planning, then I’m going to ask for some advice and a little bit of input.
This is the Plan
I love to sing, although it’s been a long while since I’ve been part of an organized singing group or had to perform for more than my own family. I also love to play Wow, so my thought was to write a song about WoW and sing it for you fine folk, right here on my blog.
I’ll begin to write the lyrics for the song and plan to present them to everyone for your input, revisions, edits, criticisms, and praise. After making final edits I’ll move on to create a tune, or a melody. I don’t have any musical instruments in my home at the moment, and am not very good with mixing voice and music on a computer, but I’ll figure something out.
Problem
The problem I have is that I don’t know how to record something and post it to the internet. Yeah, I’m not very pop-culture-techno-savy; don’t hate me because I’m beautiful! I don’t need much instruction, I’m an incredibly fast learner, but if I could get some tips on how to create a podcast or something from you fine folk that would be wonderful.
Performance
I used to sing and dance in musicals growing up. I played Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors (the giant man-eating plant). I also played Rolf in The Sound of Music (the boyfriend of the eldest daughter Liesl who turns Nazi in the end). I’ve performed as Gaston in a college musical version of Beauty and the Beast…funniest character I’ve ever played. I’ve sang in front of thousands of people dozens of times so I should have no problem doing it for people I’ve never met who can’t even see my face. Plus, I’ll get to record it so you won’t hear all the really bad takes, you’ll get the best one I turn out (meaning there could be some mistakes but I’ll be so tired I just won’t care).
I can do impersonations too, so if you want a little Garth Brooks or Frank Sinatra, I’ll turn my voice in that direction. But more than likely I’ll sing it how the song dictates it should be sung, which is a very instinctual way to do it.
Warning
It has been years since I’ve really sang, and I admit that some of my skills have diminished somewhat, so don’t expect professional quality. I was never a professional anyway, just a passionate amateur, something that will seem all too obvious.
Need your Help
So if anyone out there can contribute either technical advice or lyrical inspiration, I most welcome it. It will take a few weeks at most to put this together, so the faster I get your help the faster I’ll finish. All I can say is THIS WILL BE…INTERESTING!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Why Acronyms Will Destroy Civilization!
Let me begin with my conclusion. Acronyms will destroy civilization because it is a rapid deformation of language, which if continued at its present pace, will destroy our ability to communicate true thought. WoW is the breeding ground of the earth’s demise!
The Beginning
I am fortunate to have English (or American English) as my first language. Much of the world is compelled to learn English in school, and does so quite proficiently. In the US we have the elective to learn other languages, but nothing is mandatory and most fake their way through foreign language courses just to get the grade then forget everything they “learned” when the semester is done.
I have taken it upon myself to learn another language proficiently, however, and try to learn others. I read, write and speak near perfect Spanish. Actually, the particular version I speak is sometimes called Castellano (Castilian)! It’s still Spanish, but as we know the same base language can be spoken differently by different peoples around the world. English is spoken in the US, Australia and England, but we all know that they sounds very different from one another. My teaching came from Argentina, heavily influenced by Spain, from whence Castilian originated, thereby the language considered to be spoken in Argentina is Castellano (or Castilian) – though they have their own flare that they’ve added, which I love.
Over time languages change, words are added, taken away, spellings change, meanings change, etc. But very recently in our civilization there is a new language being spoken by the youth and even the older of the world, Acronym! I’m going to here and now call Acronym a new language, even though I know it technically isn’t, but it’s fun and helps me to focus my theme for this post so freakin’ roll with it, will ya!
Acronym has existed as a rogue, silently stealthing its way into languages across the world. With the advent of the personal computer, email, cell phones, and finally texting, Acronym has exploded into a worldwide phenomenon. Unstoppable, Acronym is now, after thousands of years, poised to take over the world and destroy human civilization as we know it. Acronym first planted its roots in video games more than two decades ago. Slowly unspooling itself from arcade to console to computer to cell phone based games, it’s now so deeply rooted in our civilizations psyche it may already be too late to quell.
Already the chosen language for cell phone texting, Acronym has invaded all MMO’s ever invented…ever. It’s emergence in WoW is not a coincidence, however, and has been planned for nearly 3,000 years.
OK, That Wasn’t the Beginning…This is… really!
3,000 years ago an ancient philosopher once said:
“The day efficiency is more important than constancy, shall be the day the earth takes her last breath. SISBD” -Philosopher Dude
So for 3,000 years, the great debate in the real scientific community isn’t whether man evolved from apes (not today’s subject, you’ll get banned for commenting about it), it’s been a raging debate over the meaning of those five letters, S.I.S.B.D. It does not translate into any known language of the day, but there are some theories floating around, some making more sense than others. Here is the list of the most famous probable translations.
SISBD = Sugar In Succulent Blueberry Dumplings!
SISBD = So, I suck Bob Dylan?
SISBD = Somewhere In Syria are Blue Dragons! (mostly discarded, not because Dragons don’t exist, but because of the use of the word “are” – scientists are strange)
SISBD = Shorter Installation Sessions Bring Drachmas! (Possible irony in use here)
SISBD = So It Shall Be Done! (Pff, that’s just stupid)
SISBD = Shadow Bolt > Incinerate > Shadow Bolt > Bane of Agony > Doomguard
In a conference this past June in Jerilisha (I forgot the country), it was decided by a panel of judges that SISBD’s true meaning as an acronym, which translated was a spell rotation for an Affliction Warlock. The philosopher, by using this acronym was saying that not only was the end of the world beginning 3,000 years ago, but also that the MMORPG World of Warcraft would be the vehicle that would drive our civilization into oblivion.
Stunned at such a powerful revelation, Activision Blizzard has maintained a tight lid on the news from the scientific community. But now we know that WoW is destroying Civilization by not only utilizing Acronym but demanding its usage by all players, old and young.
Don’t ever text? Too bad, learn Acronym or die! Not a tweeting kind of person, suck it! You must learn Acronym or you won’t be that 1M DPS for 25M ICC that can PST GS/ACHIEVE. That’s final and there’s nothing we can do about it.
Path of Enlightenment
I began my rebellion against Acronym nearly two years ago. I met someone else who also despised the power that Acronym had over WoW players. We met secretly in a room above a shop in Dalaran, talking of a world of complete sentences and verbs and adverbs. It was intoxicating. We were enlisted as official rebels by a guild leader who we felt truly understood our hate of Acronym. Day after day we would post recruitment ads in trade chat using nouns, verbs, adjectives and even a gerund once in a while (gerunds were always highly stimulating).
One day I was asked to join a group into Ice Crown Citadel 10 Man Raid Instance. I offered my services and was led by the raid leader into a room set aside for teaching new raiders. In this room I was faced with my deepest fears, from trash mobs to bosses to other damage dealers standing in fire (oh the horror). But it all had a purpose, to enlighten me and teach me the errors of my ways.
I am ever grateful to that raid leader for teaching me that Acronym love me, and I love Acronym. I don’t know how I could ever live without Acronym. You must understand that the philosopher had it wrong all those years ago, efficiency is not the death of mother earth, adverbs are.
I now sing the praises of Acronym to any and all who will listen to the truth. Whoever said, “Acronyms will destroy civilization because it is a rapid deformation of language, which if continued at its present pace, will destroy our ability to communicate true thought. WoW is the breeding ground of the earth’s demise!” is a poor soul in need of a hug, a nice guild, and some NAXX 25M as DPS, just pst GS/ACHIEVE for invite.
The Beginning
I am fortunate to have English (or American English) as my first language. Much of the world is compelled to learn English in school, and does so quite proficiently. In the US we have the elective to learn other languages, but nothing is mandatory and most fake their way through foreign language courses just to get the grade then forget everything they “learned” when the semester is done.
I have taken it upon myself to learn another language proficiently, however, and try to learn others. I read, write and speak near perfect Spanish. Actually, the particular version I speak is sometimes called Castellano (Castilian)! It’s still Spanish, but as we know the same base language can be spoken differently by different peoples around the world. English is spoken in the US, Australia and England, but we all know that they sounds very different from one another. My teaching came from Argentina, heavily influenced by Spain, from whence Castilian originated, thereby the language considered to be spoken in Argentina is Castellano (or Castilian) – though they have their own flare that they’ve added, which I love.
Over time languages change, words are added, taken away, spellings change, meanings change, etc. But very recently in our civilization there is a new language being spoken by the youth and even the older of the world, Acronym! I’m going to here and now call Acronym a new language, even though I know it technically isn’t, but it’s fun and helps me to focus my theme for this post so freakin’ roll with it, will ya!
Acronym has existed as a rogue, silently stealthing its way into languages across the world. With the advent of the personal computer, email, cell phones, and finally texting, Acronym has exploded into a worldwide phenomenon. Unstoppable, Acronym is now, after thousands of years, poised to take over the world and destroy human civilization as we know it. Acronym first planted its roots in video games more than two decades ago. Slowly unspooling itself from arcade to console to computer to cell phone based games, it’s now so deeply rooted in our civilizations psyche it may already be too late to quell.
Already the chosen language for cell phone texting, Acronym has invaded all MMO’s ever invented…ever. It’s emergence in WoW is not a coincidence, however, and has been planned for nearly 3,000 years.
OK, That Wasn’t the Beginning…This is… really!
3,000 years ago an ancient philosopher once said:
“The day efficiency is more important than constancy, shall be the day the earth takes her last breath. SISBD” -Philosopher Dude
So for 3,000 years, the great debate in the real scientific community isn’t whether man evolved from apes (not today’s subject, you’ll get banned for commenting about it), it’s been a raging debate over the meaning of those five letters, S.I.S.B.D. It does not translate into any known language of the day, but there are some theories floating around, some making more sense than others. Here is the list of the most famous probable translations.
SISBD = Sugar In Succulent Blueberry Dumplings!
SISBD = So, I suck Bob Dylan?
SISBD = Somewhere In Syria are Blue Dragons! (mostly discarded, not because Dragons don’t exist, but because of the use of the word “are” – scientists are strange)
SISBD = Shorter Installation Sessions Bring Drachmas! (Possible irony in use here)
SISBD = So It Shall Be Done! (Pff, that’s just stupid)
SISBD = Shadow Bolt > Incinerate > Shadow Bolt > Bane of Agony > Doomguard
In a conference this past June in Jerilisha (I forgot the country), it was decided by a panel of judges that SISBD’s true meaning as an acronym, which translated was a spell rotation for an Affliction Warlock. The philosopher, by using this acronym was saying that not only was the end of the world beginning 3,000 years ago, but also that the MMORPG World of Warcraft would be the vehicle that would drive our civilization into oblivion.
Stunned at such a powerful revelation, Activision Blizzard has maintained a tight lid on the news from the scientific community. But now we know that WoW is destroying Civilization by not only utilizing Acronym but demanding its usage by all players, old and young.
Don’t ever text? Too bad, learn Acronym or die! Not a tweeting kind of person, suck it! You must learn Acronym or you won’t be that 1M DPS for 25M ICC that can PST GS/ACHIEVE. That’s final and there’s nothing we can do about it.
Path of Enlightenment
I began my rebellion against Acronym nearly two years ago. I met someone else who also despised the power that Acronym had over WoW players. We met secretly in a room above a shop in Dalaran, talking of a world of complete sentences and verbs and adverbs. It was intoxicating. We were enlisted as official rebels by a guild leader who we felt truly understood our hate of Acronym. Day after day we would post recruitment ads in trade chat using nouns, verbs, adjectives and even a gerund once in a while (gerunds were always highly stimulating).
One day I was asked to join a group into Ice Crown Citadel 10 Man Raid Instance. I offered my services and was led by the raid leader into a room set aside for teaching new raiders. In this room I was faced with my deepest fears, from trash mobs to bosses to other damage dealers standing in fire (oh the horror). But it all had a purpose, to enlighten me and teach me the errors of my ways.
I am ever grateful to that raid leader for teaching me that Acronym love me, and I love Acronym. I don’t know how I could ever live without Acronym. You must understand that the philosopher had it wrong all those years ago, efficiency is not the death of mother earth, adverbs are.
I now sing the praises of Acronym to any and all who will listen to the truth. Whoever said, “Acronyms will destroy civilization because it is a rapid deformation of language, which if continued at its present pace, will destroy our ability to communicate true thought. WoW is the breeding ground of the earth’s demise!” is a poor soul in need of a hug, a nice guild, and some NAXX 25M as DPS, just pst GS/ACHIEVE for invite.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Seasons
We’re at the time of year in the Northern Hemisphere knows as fall, or autumn. It’s a season of great change to the world’s northern forests as the chlorophyll in leaves quickly disintegrates due to lack of sunshine, and the other pigments in the leaves begin to shine through giving us stunning reds, deep and penetrating oranges, and brilliant yellows. Explosions of color come to the forests of China, Europe, Appalachia then on to Canada. Of course let’s not forget the place I grew up, New England (specifically New Hampshire), who has, in my o-so-not-even-close-to-being-biased, THE BEST AUTUMN COLORS IN THE WORLD.
What is so different about this autumn than the ones that came before it? This autumn we received the news of the actual release date for Cataclysm. This time last year I was aware of it, as were we all with the announcement at Blizzcon, but this is the year it’s actually happening and is no longer some far off dream, it’s an impending inevitability. The inevitable for me is that I am being drained of my former pigments, my paradigm of Azeroth is disintegrating within me and I’m being filled with the vibrant colors of change.
In truth my change began to occur long before autumn, but it’s in this season that it’s all coming to a head and I’m being forced to face these new and fresh pigments, a new paradigm of how and why I play WoW. I’m forced to ask myself, what do the changes mean for me? I shall attempt to give voice to these colors.
What is so different about this autumn than the ones that came before it? This autumn we received the news of the actual release date for Cataclysm. This time last year I was aware of it, as were we all with the announcement at Blizzcon, but this is the year it’s actually happening and is no longer some far off dream, it’s an impending inevitability. The inevitable for me is that I am being drained of my former pigments, my paradigm of Azeroth is disintegrating within me and I’m being filled with the vibrant colors of change.
In truth my change began to occur long before autumn, but it’s in this season that it’s all coming to a head and I’m being forced to face these new and fresh pigments, a new paradigm of how and why I play WoW. I’m forced to ask myself, what do the changes mean for me? I shall attempt to give voice to these colors.
Gardener
I have sewn the seeds of a garden, and filled it with fresh and colorful fruits and vegetables. Tomatoes, Watermelon, Squash, Cucumber, Carrots, Peas. Around this garden I’ve planted flowers of various color, shape, size, and scent. It’s my garden and I need to tend to it well, removing weeds by hand and making sure the plants get the right amount of sunlight and water in their season.
Huh?
I am learning that my enjoyment of WoW comes when I involve myself in a plethora of activities, and I take the time in those activities to make sure I’m enjoying myself. Not going to fast, because I don’t want to flood my plants with too much sun or water, and not being too lethargic (i.e. spacing out the watering schedule so that my plants dry up). I’m learning that as I participate in the many, many activities that the game has to offer at ALL levels, I am doing no more than being true to myself and enjoying the game more.
I’ve always thought of myself as pretty well-rounded in life, just about everything fascinates me and I love to study all things that come before me. Whether it’s music, movies, books, or any educational subject I have an interest in it. It would be against my nature of being well-rounded if I only did one singular activity in the game. I tried that for a while, and although I liked it while I did it, I learned that I raided at the exclusion of other enjoyments, and that has and will change with Cataclysm.
I have sewn the seeds of a garden, and filled it with fresh and colorful fruits and vegetables. Tomatoes, Watermelon, Squash, Cucumber, Carrots, Peas. Around this garden I’ve planted flowers of various color, shape, size, and scent. It’s my garden and I need to tend to it well, removing weeds by hand and making sure the plants get the right amount of sunlight and water in their season.
Huh?
I am learning that my enjoyment of WoW comes when I involve myself in a plethora of activities, and I take the time in those activities to make sure I’m enjoying myself. Not going to fast, because I don’t want to flood my plants with too much sun or water, and not being too lethargic (i.e. spacing out the watering schedule so that my plants dry up). I’m learning that as I participate in the many, many activities that the game has to offer at ALL levels, I am doing no more than being true to myself and enjoying the game more.
I’ve always thought of myself as pretty well-rounded in life, just about everything fascinates me and I love to study all things that come before me. Whether it’s music, movies, books, or any educational subject I have an interest in it. It would be against my nature of being well-rounded if I only did one singular activity in the game. I tried that for a while, and although I liked it while I did it, I learned that I raided at the exclusion of other enjoyments, and that has and will change with Cataclysm.
Old & New Motivations
I still play as a form of release and relaxation from life. I still find my play time a fun way to connect with my kids because we truly share something in common. And as my 10-year old becomes a teen, I’m going to search for more and more things to have in common with him if I have any hope of maintaining a connection with him. He’s great, but he as disabilities that hinder his ability to socialize, even within his own family, so common interests remain an important connection.
But there are some motives that are new, sentiments that have morphed into pigments that will help redefine me. I’ve had a creativity awoken in me again, one that I repressed far too long while I made my way into reality and the business world. This creativity has found life in writing, not only this blog but in books that I’m attempting to write on the side. Stories might be a better word, not exactly novels, but one thing at a time I say. This creativity has influenced how I view learning new classes that I haven’t played beyond level 20 before.
Even though I know of the plethora of resources available to me, I will do a lot more personal exploring and experimenting of my classes as opposed to looking up the “best” rotations of talent specs for leveling or pvp or raiding, etc. Say what you will about the ability to be creative with the new talent trees, but I’ll study the trees myself and try to determine the best rotations through trial and error, and independent study rather than being told what to do. It’ll be a means of expressing my creativity in-game, to the extent that that will be possible (I know this is a debatable topic, but I don’t want to delve into it right now).
So I’ll keep some of the old motivations, and add a few new pigments to them, hopefully making my play experiences far more colorful than they ever were before.
Lore
The one thing that has been changing in me is my desire to know more of and immerse myself in the lore of World of Warcraft. I love a great story, and I’ve come across some really emotionally moving stories in some of my adventures already, and hope to be immersed in more.
This will combine nicely with my gardening skills, as I do more things in the game I’ll also take the time to learn the stories that are being told. There are rich characters in this game, people with remarkable backgrounds and sad tales to tell. I want to know more of these tales, to share in some part in their grief, pain, or happiness and victories. I live in a practical world where people “get go to school and get jobs and pay bills and such”, no longer do we truly believe in magical powers, today it’s smoke & mirrors or slight of hand that explains the supernatural. I want to at least pretend, even if it’s for minutes a day, that I’m a part of a magical story unfolding before my eyes, and that I am an important cog in that wheel.
With Azeroth changing and new stories and quests to be introduced, there will be plenty of content to go through and get lost in, and lost I shall get.
Seasons
There are times when WoW may feel like Spring, new and bright and filled with the hope of life and great new activities. There are other times where it may feel cold and dark, tedious and empty. Content is old, guildies on vacation, server population low, whatever the case. There will always me either personal or mass times of Winter, sort of like what happens pre-expansion. There is also Summer in WoW. A time of continued successes, stressful and long days where you fight both the heat of the environment and the continued wonders discovered in the Springtime of your play. You grow stronger in the face of the heat, you grow in power and understanding, all the while knowing that there will be an end and you’ll inevitably be led to the season of change, Autumn, or Fall. Class changes, spell changes, buffs or nerfs to players and content, new features that require a shift in attitude a different means of player interaction.
For all the seasons we pass through in WoW, the one thing that keeps us coming back, that keeps me coming back is I know what to expect. I know that if I’m in a lull to wait, a new season is just around the corner waiting to refresh my outlook and bring new life or meaningful changes to the how and why I play this game.
May you enjoy the changes that are coming, and may you one day visit New Hampshire in the Fall, it truly is spectacular to see!
Random Monday Musings
Beer Pong
How was your weekend? On Friday I, and everyone at work, received an email inviting everyone to a beer pong party at a local Vegas club. My first thought was, 'People at this office really do like their beer' (as this was one in a long line of invites for a Friday night drinking get-together). But beer pong? Really? You're sending out an invitation at work to EVERYONE at work for a BEER PONG party? Try growing up a bit, will ya? I don't care if I offend anyone who enjoys a good beer pong party, but to send out an invite to a bunch of business people? Really? Such is the corporate culture of some offices, I suppose, but I find it a bit immature.
PTR
Of the many amazing phenomenons of the PTR, I found a couple more. There seems to be a healthy disdain for Premade characters. I suppose I understand, for it leads to the second issue, really horrible pugs. If you thought pugs were bad on the live servers, try playing with others who are trying out tanking or healing for the first time ever.
Scenario: I zone into a dungeon to test out an 80 lock (yes, I did a premade, but Gronthe is 74, so I wanted to get an idea of what he'll be like a few levels from now, so I knew how to play the class). The healer says, 'Shadow is a good healing spec, right?'. After everyone wipes on the first two sets of trash the pug is disbanded.
Every, single, pug dungeon run (I don't have time or pain tolerance for raiding) has faced at least one person dropping group for some stupid reason. There's always one person who doesn't know what to do. Premades are bad when that person has no clue what they're doing. Although, I must puff up my own ego by saying that I got my 80 fire and frost mage (I don't have a mage of any level, I've deleted them all) to pound out 6K+ DPS in heroics, but I have such good teachers out there in the blogosphere that I can't help but be an awesome premade mage.
People still think that hitting gold cap is cool - those people are still morons.
Cataclysm
It's official, but I know you have heard. December 7th. I had guessed Nov. 23, so I was 2 weeks off. Oh well, I tried. At least I know exactly how long I have to finish builing my BoA gear armory. Yes, I use BoA gear because I like it. I raised 3 toons to 80 without it, and Gronthe is almost to 80 with it, and having it has not taken away any fun in the least. I don't always use it, however, as my lock has used a chest piece he got at level 60 and hasn't taken it off. Why? Well I do cheat a bit, putting in 3 epic gems to seriously up the spell power. What!? You would if you could too...maybe. Don't look at me like that, I'm having fun my way, that's all.
I would have you know that all my toons that play on different realms than my mains have to do everything the old fashioned way, I get to enjoy something while I can on ONE toon, I've earned it.
Priesting
Wow, playing a Discipline Priest with the new talents is FUN. In case you missed it:
F - Is for friends who do things together!
U - Is for you and me!
N - Is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!
OR
F - Is for fire that burns down the whole world!
U - Is for Uranium...BOMB!
N - Is for No survivors...!
It's a song, from Spongebob, funny as heck too. Plankton is hilarious, and wouldn't make a good Disc Priest, he'd definately go Shadow! Spongebob would make a good Paladin, no brain power needed to do any sort of competitive damage (in Wrath at least).
Warlock
Soul Swap is the COOLEST SPELL EVER CREATED. Basically, it takes all the Shadow DoT's the Warlock as cast on a target, pulls them off before the target dies, then within 20 seconds can instantly reapply all of them to a new target. Talk about powerful. I was using it in some randoms, and is a great way to go from trash to a boss and absolutly unload shadow damage fast as an Affliction Warlock. But from what I hear, it's going to get nerfed so not as many spells can be swapped. Figures, just when Affliction became the best spec in the Universe it's getting nerfed, ah well, such is the case for everyone's class from their viewpoint at some time or another in the life and history of WoW.
Philosophy
My brain is tired. I can't write any heavy posts this week, so it'll be a week full of frivolity and fun things; or if not fun then simply less deep. I fried my brain last week, and that proved too much. Still, I shall continue to delve into the realms of our souls, as they connect with the games we play and how we play them. Just expect less...thinking this week than others.
Medicine
My pain meds spilled in my bag that I carry to and from work on Friday. But it wasn't until late Friday night that I noticed that there was a hole in the bottom of my bag and I lost a week and a half's worth of narcotics. Now I have to report it to the police if I have any hope of getting refills, which totally sucks. This, of course, has everything to do with my gaming because if I don't have pain meds I don't play WoW or any game for that matter. Wish me luck in hoping my doctor doesn't think I'm an addict trying to get a larger stash of Percocet, I really am telling the truth, so much so my wife had a panic attack (she's sweet like that).
Best of Luck
An open best of luck to Larisa, who's contemplating her future as a blogger. Whatever you do you know I won't say a contrary word. Would love to keep you around, but if you go at least I'll have months of great archived reading to finish up. May you find what you're looking for.
How was your weekend? On Friday I, and everyone at work, received an email inviting everyone to a beer pong party at a local Vegas club. My first thought was, 'People at this office really do like their beer' (as this was one in a long line of invites for a Friday night drinking get-together). But beer pong? Really? You're sending out an invitation at work to EVERYONE at work for a BEER PONG party? Try growing up a bit, will ya? I don't care if I offend anyone who enjoys a good beer pong party, but to send out an invite to a bunch of business people? Really? Such is the corporate culture of some offices, I suppose, but I find it a bit immature.
PTR
Of the many amazing phenomenons of the PTR, I found a couple more. There seems to be a healthy disdain for Premade characters. I suppose I understand, for it leads to the second issue, really horrible pugs. If you thought pugs were bad on the live servers, try playing with others who are trying out tanking or healing for the first time ever.
Scenario: I zone into a dungeon to test out an 80 lock (yes, I did a premade, but Gronthe is 74, so I wanted to get an idea of what he'll be like a few levels from now, so I knew how to play the class). The healer says, 'Shadow is a good healing spec, right?'. After everyone wipes on the first two sets of trash the pug is disbanded.
Every, single, pug dungeon run (I don't have time or pain tolerance for raiding) has faced at least one person dropping group for some stupid reason. There's always one person who doesn't know what to do. Premades are bad when that person has no clue what they're doing. Although, I must puff up my own ego by saying that I got my 80 fire and frost mage (I don't have a mage of any level, I've deleted them all) to pound out 6K+ DPS in heroics, but I have such good teachers out there in the blogosphere that I can't help but be an awesome premade mage.
People still think that hitting gold cap is cool - those people are still morons.
Cataclysm
It's official, but I know you have heard. December 7th. I had guessed Nov. 23, so I was 2 weeks off. Oh well, I tried. At least I know exactly how long I have to finish builing my BoA gear armory. Yes, I use BoA gear because I like it. I raised 3 toons to 80 without it, and Gronthe is almost to 80 with it, and having it has not taken away any fun in the least. I don't always use it, however, as my lock has used a chest piece he got at level 60 and hasn't taken it off. Why? Well I do cheat a bit, putting in 3 epic gems to seriously up the spell power. What!? You would if you could too...maybe. Don't look at me like that, I'm having fun my way, that's all.
I would have you know that all my toons that play on different realms than my mains have to do everything the old fashioned way, I get to enjoy something while I can on ONE toon, I've earned it.
Priesting
Wow, playing a Discipline Priest with the new talents is FUN. In case you missed it:
F - Is for friends who do things together!
U - Is for you and me!
N - Is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!
OR
F - Is for fire that burns down the whole world!
U - Is for Uranium...BOMB!
N - Is for No survivors...!
It's a song, from Spongebob, funny as heck too. Plankton is hilarious, and wouldn't make a good Disc Priest, he'd definately go Shadow! Spongebob would make a good Paladin, no brain power needed to do any sort of competitive damage (in Wrath at least).
Warlock
Soul Swap is the COOLEST SPELL EVER CREATED. Basically, it takes all the Shadow DoT's the Warlock as cast on a target, pulls them off before the target dies, then within 20 seconds can instantly reapply all of them to a new target. Talk about powerful. I was using it in some randoms, and is a great way to go from trash to a boss and absolutly unload shadow damage fast as an Affliction Warlock. But from what I hear, it's going to get nerfed so not as many spells can be swapped. Figures, just when Affliction became the best spec in the Universe it's getting nerfed, ah well, such is the case for everyone's class from their viewpoint at some time or another in the life and history of WoW.
Philosophy
My brain is tired. I can't write any heavy posts this week, so it'll be a week full of frivolity and fun things; or if not fun then simply less deep. I fried my brain last week, and that proved too much. Still, I shall continue to delve into the realms of our souls, as they connect with the games we play and how we play them. Just expect less...thinking this week than others.
Medicine
My pain meds spilled in my bag that I carry to and from work on Friday. But it wasn't until late Friday night that I noticed that there was a hole in the bottom of my bag and I lost a week and a half's worth of narcotics. Now I have to report it to the police if I have any hope of getting refills, which totally sucks. This, of course, has everything to do with my gaming because if I don't have pain meds I don't play WoW or any game for that matter. Wish me luck in hoping my doctor doesn't think I'm an addict trying to get a larger stash of Percocet, I really am telling the truth, so much so my wife had a panic attack (she's sweet like that).
Best of Luck
An open best of luck to Larisa, who's contemplating her future as a blogger. Whatever you do you know I won't say a contrary word. Would love to keep you around, but if you go at least I'll have months of great archived reading to finish up. May you find what you're looking for.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Simple Joy
"Dear Diary,
My 8 year old son is going to raise his first toon to 80 this upcoming weeking. He's happy about it, and I'm happy for him. Ah, the simple joys in life!"
Don't worry, all you ignoramuses out there, I won't let him join your group and bring everyone down with this abismal gear score. The thing is, you try to take him 1v1 in PvP and I guarantee he'll smash you into the floor and wipe you up with his broom and dust pan...then repeat the process.
Ah, the simple joys in life!
My 8 year old son is going to raise his first toon to 80 this upcoming weeking. He's happy about it, and I'm happy for him. Ah, the simple joys in life!"
Don't worry, all you ignoramuses out there, I won't let him join your group and bring everyone down with this abismal gear score. The thing is, you try to take him 1v1 in PvP and I guarantee he'll smash you into the floor and wipe you up with his broom and dust pan...then repeat the process.
Ah, the simple joys in life!
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