This is what I get for spending time with my wife last night. She wanted to hang out and watch some TV together, for lovey-dovey sake and all that jazz. I agreed, of course, because I have my priorities in the correct order (this is in reference to that delightful conversation between Syl and Anonymous last week...simply delightful).
I had come home from work, and my boys started asking me all about the patch 4.0.1 that'll hit today in the states, I guess it'll be Wednesday for Europe, right? Anyway, they were asking me all about the patch and if this or that talent would still be available, etc. It was not a delightful conversation, it was pure funjoy of a conversation.
After that we had some dinner (priorities again in order), watched some of the Monday Night Football game wherein Mr Favre threw another interception to lose yet another big game. Then I got on my DK. His name is Trezzoth, on the Llane realm alliance side, in case you were wondering. He's guildless too, if anyone would like him. I had server transferred him over to help "heirloom-out" my boys' alts, and one of my own. I took just about every heirloom piece from my main server (Malfurion-US), but still didn't have everything I wanted. My boys wanted me to go into Wintergrasp and get the PvP heirloom caster staff and 2H sword with Strength on it (don't ask me for names, I'm too lazy to look them up). I got those that that thrashing sword from WG as well, the one that sometimes does an additional attack.
After gettting that stuff I realized that I was a few pieces short of having every PvE heirloom piece in my bank. I could still use the shoulders/chest for Elemental/Resto shaman (it'll be a Dwarf shaman on this server), but I didn't have them. So Saturday I began to run some heroics for some quick badges, by Sunday night I got the shoulders. All that was left was the chest piece and I'd have EVERYTHING.
So when I got home last night and saw that I had 3 emblems of triumph, I dispaired, but I wanted to give it a go anyway. So after 1) spending quality time talking with and listening to my kids, 2) sharing a family meal, 3) enjoying some quality alone time with my wife, 4) doing other normal life things that take priority over WoW, I finally was able to get online and make a push for 40 emblems.
Queues were fast (about 9 min or so for my DPS DK), groups were good. By 11:50pm PDT I had 36 emblems, I only needed 4 more. There was a group trying to go Malygos (the weekly), but they only had 5 people and there were 11 min until server shutdown. I contemplated another random, but 9 min in queue would only leave 2 min to finish the heroic. I don't care how fast your tank goes, you can't do a full clear in 2 min.
So I was left 4 short. After all the prices are reset to balance around level 85's, heirlooms will be significantly more expensive for my 80. Sure, I'll have time to earn those justice points before 4.0.3 when the new race/class combos and world changes hit, but I really wanted it last night. Alas, 4 short. It wasn't the first time I didn't achieve a goal. I certainly don't regret taking care of RL first, I just wish I had an extra 30 min or so here or there.
I do hope anonymous stops by for a delightful conversation of my own, but I shant worry too much. There are literally 4,498 4.0.1 class guides, 2,674 UI guides, and 3,458 other general 4.0.1 news guides on the internet somewhere (those figures are accurate according to the aliens who tell me so). I won't do one here, unless someone pays me, but I hope you find something useful somewhere. I admit, humbly so, that I do know everything and any guide I wrote would be perfection itself, but I don't wish to make others feel bad. So I leave it to you fine folk to tell me what to do and how to do it. May your blades never dull, unless you're fighting against me in a BG, then don't bother fighting at all because you know you'll lose.
Showing posts with label Instances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Instances. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Perfect Instance
Read to the end, it's pretty funny!
I did it! After months and months of long nights and minimal sleep. After enduring mockery and public scorn. After utilizing every resource available to mankind, I have done it! I have created the perfect instance. One that will please the lazy casual who wants everything now and for free, and at the same time will challenge the most hard-core nostalgist (is that a word? who cares, it sounds really neat). Prepare yourselves, this will be unlike anything you have ever before seen or heard of.
The name of the instance will be called: The Ninth Circle!
This idea has nothing to do with religion, despite the obvious reference to Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy in which he travels through the 9 circles of hell. He does other stuff too, like visit purgatory and then the 9 circles of paradise (heaven). I'm just using Dante's poem as inspiration for my idea. There is no ideology, theology, or any other type of -ology inferred, it's just an idea for the perfect instance.
Here we go. Ready? Great!
The basic layout of the dungeon is straight forward, there will be literally 9 levels to pass through, each circular in shape, but with varying designs and themes for each level you pass though. The first circle you visit will be the easiest, and each subsequent circle will get harder and harder until you reach the ninth circle at the very bottom of the instance.
Upon completing the first circle you will be offered a choice by a very sexy siren (volunteers are welcome), who will give you the option to open a magical hatch and slide all the way down, bypassing levels 2-8, directly to the end boss in the ninth circle. More on this later in the show.
The other option is to say no to the sultry temptress and proceed with the instance circle by agonizing circle. Not agonizing in a boring way, but in a "wow, that hurt but felt really good" way. I won't go into detail about every circle, but I will give you a taste of a few of them.
Circle 1: We're all familiar with this play style, the tank will have to enter the room and pull all mobs to him/her. The DPS proceed to AoE every creature who is trying to kill the tank. After about 5 seconds of massive AoE fest, the room is cleared. Easy. Now given that you made the choice to continue circle by circle, here are a couple more.
Circle 4: All your AoE abilities have been turned off, they don't work in this circle. If you're in a 5-man group your DPS will have the chance to proove that they are more than just meter-makers. CC will be the name of the game, as well as skilled kiting methods as your DPS will need to use single-target spells only to down the many mobs here. But there are so many mobs your tank/healer combo wouldn't be able to last without the help of the DPS'ers finer, not so damaging CC skills. Good luck with this one.
Circle 6: Here your AoE spells are turned back on, but all your single-target damage spells are turned off. This will be more difficult for some classes than others, so a good class balance in your group will be essential. The trick here is that there will be 12 mobs that can only be damaged/killed by AoE damage spells. The caveat is that only 3 at a time can be killed. So the remaining groups of 3 will have to be CC'd at the same time that you are AoE'ing the first group. To help you out, your CC spells will last twice as long here, unless you go Heroic mode, then it's the same. There will be a mix of Undead and Humanoids, so you can sheep, frog, shackle, or whatever in this circle.
Circle 8: You'll need a skilled off-tank or kiter for this one. There will be two bosses only in this room. The first will be handled by the tank while the second must be off-tanked or kited. The trick here will be similar to the Safety Dance...oh now don't you go all elitist on me now. Heigan the Uncleen taught us something important, move or die. This will be the ultimate movement fight, but with two bosses needing to be kept far apart from each other while ooze, fire, ice, and other massive AoE spells of death whirl around your group in different directions. Your healer will have to be at his/her very best, keeping up the tank and off/kiter as well as him/herself and the remaining DPS...all while dodging twice as much bad stuff as any single group will have to. It will be the ultimate test in coordination and patience.
Circle 9: Finally we reach the end, the pinnacle (even though it's lower geographically than circle one) of the instance. Here will be the end-boss, the guy that gives the best loot, the one for which you will earn the achievement of passing through to the Ninth Circle of Hell. The fight is hard, but doable, and when you finish you find yourself completely satisfied at a job well done.
That is, of course, provided you had chosen to fight through all circles and not go all the way to the bottom. For those that fell to the temptations of the siren, you find yourself in the Boss' clutches. The difficulty level increases x50, essentially making it impossible to defeat the end boss. After wiping 5 times somebody tries to leave the group and is presented with this message.
"You are not allowed the pleasure of the Nine Circles of Paradise unless you pass through the ninth circle of hell. Try again."
So you try again, and again, and again, and after a while you find that the encounter is literally impossible. Not only that, but your hearth doesn't work, when you log out then log back in you're still there with your group. You can't get out!
This is the punishment for all those lazy, entitled, elitist, offending, trolling, criticizing, gogogogo-ing types that infest our WoW universe. They, like everyone else, were invited to see the perfect instance, without prior knowledge that it existed, and upon entering discovering what kind of person they are. They are stuck in the Ninth Circle saying to themselves and each other "What the Hell?"
Meanwhile, those willing to work for their achievements are saying "That was hell, but now I'm enjoying paradise."
That's right, maybe one day we can enjoy a game where tools and jerks and idiots and every other nasty, "ONLY GS + ACHIEVE MATTERS NOOB" person get what they deserve, and we can get some peace and quiet.
I did it! After months and months of long nights and minimal sleep. After enduring mockery and public scorn. After utilizing every resource available to mankind, I have done it! I have created the perfect instance. One that will please the lazy casual who wants everything now and for free, and at the same time will challenge the most hard-core nostalgist (is that a word? who cares, it sounds really neat). Prepare yourselves, this will be unlike anything you have ever before seen or heard of.
The name of the instance will be called: The Ninth Circle!
This idea has nothing to do with religion, despite the obvious reference to Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy in which he travels through the 9 circles of hell. He does other stuff too, like visit purgatory and then the 9 circles of paradise (heaven). I'm just using Dante's poem as inspiration for my idea. There is no ideology, theology, or any other type of -ology inferred, it's just an idea for the perfect instance.
Here we go. Ready? Great!
The basic layout of the dungeon is straight forward, there will be literally 9 levels to pass through, each circular in shape, but with varying designs and themes for each level you pass though. The first circle you visit will be the easiest, and each subsequent circle will get harder and harder until you reach the ninth circle at the very bottom of the instance.
Upon completing the first circle you will be offered a choice by a very sexy siren (volunteers are welcome), who will give you the option to open a magical hatch and slide all the way down, bypassing levels 2-8, directly to the end boss in the ninth circle. More on this later in the show.
The other option is to say no to the sultry temptress and proceed with the instance circle by agonizing circle. Not agonizing in a boring way, but in a "wow, that hurt but felt really good" way. I won't go into detail about every circle, but I will give you a taste of a few of them.
Circle 1: We're all familiar with this play style, the tank will have to enter the room and pull all mobs to him/her. The DPS proceed to AoE every creature who is trying to kill the tank. After about 5 seconds of massive AoE fest, the room is cleared. Easy. Now given that you made the choice to continue circle by circle, here are a couple more.
Circle 4: All your AoE abilities have been turned off, they don't work in this circle. If you're in a 5-man group your DPS will have the chance to proove that they are more than just meter-makers. CC will be the name of the game, as well as skilled kiting methods as your DPS will need to use single-target spells only to down the many mobs here. But there are so many mobs your tank/healer combo wouldn't be able to last without the help of the DPS'ers finer, not so damaging CC skills. Good luck with this one.
Circle 6: Here your AoE spells are turned back on, but all your single-target damage spells are turned off. This will be more difficult for some classes than others, so a good class balance in your group will be essential. The trick here is that there will be 12 mobs that can only be damaged/killed by AoE damage spells. The caveat is that only 3 at a time can be killed. So the remaining groups of 3 will have to be CC'd at the same time that you are AoE'ing the first group. To help you out, your CC spells will last twice as long here, unless you go Heroic mode, then it's the same. There will be a mix of Undead and Humanoids, so you can sheep, frog, shackle, or whatever in this circle.
Circle 8: You'll need a skilled off-tank or kiter for this one. There will be two bosses only in this room. The first will be handled by the tank while the second must be off-tanked or kited. The trick here will be similar to the Safety Dance...oh now don't you go all elitist on me now. Heigan the Uncleen taught us something important, move or die. This will be the ultimate movement fight, but with two bosses needing to be kept far apart from each other while ooze, fire, ice, and other massive AoE spells of death whirl around your group in different directions. Your healer will have to be at his/her very best, keeping up the tank and off/kiter as well as him/herself and the remaining DPS...all while dodging twice as much bad stuff as any single group will have to. It will be the ultimate test in coordination and patience.
Circle 9: Finally we reach the end, the pinnacle (even though it's lower geographically than circle one) of the instance. Here will be the end-boss, the guy that gives the best loot, the one for which you will earn the achievement of passing through to the Ninth Circle of Hell. The fight is hard, but doable, and when you finish you find yourself completely satisfied at a job well done.
That is, of course, provided you had chosen to fight through all circles and not go all the way to the bottom. For those that fell to the temptations of the siren, you find yourself in the Boss' clutches. The difficulty level increases x50, essentially making it impossible to defeat the end boss. After wiping 5 times somebody tries to leave the group and is presented with this message.
"You are not allowed the pleasure of the Nine Circles of Paradise unless you pass through the ninth circle of hell. Try again."
So you try again, and again, and again, and after a while you find that the encounter is literally impossible. Not only that, but your hearth doesn't work, when you log out then log back in you're still there with your group. You can't get out!
This is the punishment for all those lazy, entitled, elitist, offending, trolling, criticizing, gogogogo-ing types that infest our WoW universe. They, like everyone else, were invited to see the perfect instance, without prior knowledge that it existed, and upon entering discovering what kind of person they are. They are stuck in the Ninth Circle saying to themselves and each other "What the Hell?"
Meanwhile, those willing to work for their achievements are saying "That was hell, but now I'm enjoying paradise."
That's right, maybe one day we can enjoy a game where tools and jerks and idiots and every other nasty, "ONLY GS + ACHIEVE MATTERS NOOB" person get what they deserve, and we can get some peace and quiet.
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