Fighting the Need to be Perfect

I give full credit to Larisa for providing me with a topic that I've been inspired to write today. There are some things that ruffle my invisible feathers (not imaginary, I know I have them, I believe I can fly AND touch the sky), and player behavior is one of them. I am no expert in human behavior, and I'm pretty sure nobody else is either, so let's just have a nice little chat about things we observe, and try and make connections where possible that make some sense.

Let's talk about Classical Conditioning, a behaviorist model of behaviorism psychology.

"It posited that behavioral tendencies are determined by immediate associations between various environmental stimuli and the degree of pleasure or pain that follows. Behavioral patterns, then, were understood to consist of organisms' conditioned responses to the stimuli in their environment. The stimuli were held to exert influence in proportion to their prior repetition or to the previous intensity of their associated pain or pleasure."

-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychology

To put it simply, stimuli > response. Ghostcrawler is apparently taking the Classical Conditioning approach by taking blame for the player base's phobiaa of being "WRONG" when choosing our talents, creating inefficient specs that are not desireable to many raid leaders.

"But I do wish there was some way to turn around this virtual phobia of inefficiency -- this terror of being WRONG -- that we have managed to instill in our player base."

It looks like he is saying that the devs created the stimulus with their development choices, and the players' response to this, the response that is the safest and creates the greatest pleasure, is a community of players afraid to be wrong, to follow the tried and tested wisdom of "cookie cutter" specs, of raid leaders demanding X gear score and Y achievement in order to non-fail their way through a raid. We all know the behavior, we're familiar with it either because we see it constantly in trade chat or we've been subjected to such scrutiny ourselves. We can't deny that the min/maxing attitude has permiated into a majority of the player base at end game. In many it has created a phobia, a fear of being left out for choosing one talent over another, a fear of being WRONG according to those who have the power to decide such things (i.e. raid leaders).

I do not question whether or not the devs have created an environment condusive to these attitudes and behaviors, I think that Larisa has treated that subject nicely, as have many of her wonderful readers/commenters. Many agree that these attitudes have been around for a long time, and there are many factors which led to them. I'd like to take the discussion into a slightly different direction. You see, Ghostcrawler wants to fix the player's attitudes and behaviors. He doesn't want people to feel afraid of talenting the WRONG spec. He doesn't want raid leaders to choose people for a group based on cookie cutter criteria of GS/Achieve/Spec, etc. But...the devs also are afraid to take away some of the environmental conditions, the stimuli, that allows for these behaviors because, in part, the player base has obtained pleasure in many of the changes.

But if GC is right, and the blame is 100% the developers, if they instilled these behaviors in us through their game design, then Classical Conditioning is hard at work in WoW. Personally, I think it's all a big pile of cow dung. Personally, I don't believe myself so conditionable (is that even a word? Well I'm going with it...) as Pavlov's dog. I point to my personal experience here. I think GC takes too much on himself and we, the players, are not as accountable for our behavior as we ought to be.

It's not a lack of choices in talents, it's not min/maxers who instill fear in the new 80 with "inefficient" talents, it's not ONLY the environment, it's a horrifying lack of leadership that is of equal blame of game design which encourages the behavior that GC does not like to see. When I did raid, I came to a point where I was sick of being held to unreasonable gear and achievement standards by pug raid leaders, so I started to raid lead pugs on my own. They were never a steamrolling experience, and there were often wipes and challenges, but never did any group I lead ever fail to complete the goal set out at the beginning of the raid. And in the process I was able to include people that would have otherwise been excluded becuase they did not choose to follow some cookie cutter spec, or other reasons.

What we fail from is bad leadership, ignorant leadership, tyrannical leadership, unreasonable leadership, stubborn leadership, greedy leadership, lazy leadership, need I go on? What we suffer from is people wanting to force other people to play "the right way", or the way that that leader desires, at not only the exclusion of others but outright public demeaning of specs and gs and achieves that are undesireable. I am not talking to any of my readers specifically, but for as much as environment influences the players, it's the players who choose to be led by said influences and whether to reinforce behavior or punish it. (Please read this on reinforcement and punishment, etc, it will help you understand).

What we have is a player base void of sufficient leadership. We need not place blame needlessly or in undue amounts. In such a reciprocal relationship nobody should shoulder all the blame. But let's not hide from a situation just because we're afraid to hurt each others feelings. I do not claim to be a perfect raid leader, nor hold all those qualities which I most desire in a leader. But I have tried to take a stand in the past and learn to become a better leader. I don't say this, again, to suggest that I'm any better than anyone, but at least I know that I have tried to fight against the norm. Can you say the same about yourself? I know some of you can, you've shared your experiences with me before.

Ghostcrawler will never fix the problems of behavior that he sees by tweaking the stimuli connected, to whatever degree you personally believe. No, you can't change a nation all at once, but you can change yourself, and encourage other individuals to do the same. In the process, as individuals change their paradigm, the nation begins to change, but from the inside and not from external stimuli.

I think that there are a lot of people lying comfortably in their shells, capable of doing great things and being great leaders. But timidity gets the best of most of us when faced with an angry mob demanding GS/Achieve/Cookie Cutter Spec. So how will you combat such demands? Not you as in "ya'lls", but you personally. What will you do individually to change the overall tone of raid leadership, pugging, talent specs, etc? Will you fall in line with the least degree of resistance? Many will, it brings pleasure to not have to face conflict. Larisa asked for ideas on what things could change to help the situation. My solution, become a leader. Make the change in yourself and ask others to follow.

How would you respond to local chat that said:

LFM raiders for Tol Barad. I care how you play, not GS or Achieve. I care if you know what you're doing, but don't demand any specific talent combination in your spec. Let's rock this place! Let's be honest with ourselves and with each other. Dont' send tell if you know you are not up to the challenge. But if you are let's join forces and have fun in the process. Who's with me?

Ok, maybe not the most eloquent speech, I'm no King Henry V. Leaders, come out of your shells and lead! Show everyone that there are a lot more people than we think with open minds and a willingness to learn and to teach. If GC wants things to change, allow him and the devs to make changes they feel will help (with your suggesions, of course), but YOU have to do your part as well, which may be more important than anything any developer can do.

Given One More Chance

I've joined quite a few pug raids in my time. Not a lot, just quite a few. Mostly it's for the weekly raid on my alts, so that probably doesn't really count as a raid. Anyway, with ToC staring at our server this past week and three toons to do it on I had to choose which one would go with guild and which two would pug it.

Tuesday night happened and in went my Shaman with my guild, easy money. Saturday came and I had to run it on my priest. I decided to lead it so I started to post for others to join my merry band of weekly raiders. I wasn't in the mood to require gear score or achievement, it was early and I really didn't have time to care about that. I guess I just hoped that people would know if they were capable or not (please no quest greens, please no quest greens).

Group formed, ToC started. Wipe on worms. Wipe on worms. Wipe on worms. What's going on, can't we just get to Icehowl? Wipe on worms. Tank leaves, dps leaves. I ask healing Priest to go DPS and we get awesome holy Pali from someone's guild...joy. But before that happy moment, I had to, just had to look at the meters to see how everyone was doing. I'm not one who believes that you need 4K dps or some other random number to do ToC (first two bosses). Proper coordination and people doing things at right times (Snobolds, fires, poisons, running away, etc) will get you through just fine.

But there was this other Shadow Priest in the group that was doing 1K dps. Hmm, I wonder what's going on? Being a Shadow Priest myself I understood very well what we're capable of given certain gear and performing our rotation even close to the best manner possible. But I was doing 1K dps in my 70's running regular dungeons. This particular priest had gear from 25M Naxx mostly, plus a couple 245 Emblem purchased pieces. Must be someone who hasn't played in a long time. But 1K dps was, well, really bad for a this particular raid. Very difficult to make up when everyone else was doing around 3K.

So, here I was, raid leader of a pug and a couple people had quit already. What do I do? I decided to talk to the priest. I said that as a group we seemed to be having some issues, but none that can't be overcome with a little more focus and coordination. I wasn't an expert, but I said that I felt like 1K dps was pretty low for these fights and if there was anything I could do to help. They explained to me that it had been a while since they played and they were really trying hard, which I believed. So this is what I said.

"I'll make you a deal. I've give you the choice to stay if you want to. Even though I think your dps output is too low for these fights, I'm willing to give you another chance. If we wipe, I think it would serve the group if you voluntarily left, but I'll still leave the choice to you."

What?!?!?!? Gronthe, you're the freakin' raid leader, it's your job to make sure that the group is well enough equipped for success. Allowing someone doing 1K to stay in your ToC raid is crazy, just kick 'em and replace 'em!!!!

Maybe, but something in me at that moment felt like saying what I did. I think I felt that an introspection would be better than yelling at how much they sucked (not that I thought they sucked, I just think that since they hadn't played in a really long time that this person was struggling with their rotation, etc). Maybe this approach was more offensive, I'm not sure. But if I were made to consider whether my contributions were a help or a hinderance what would I do? Would I be honest with myself? Would I be too hard on myself and leave anyway? Would I lie to myself and say that dps output doesn't matter at all (as long as we have healers with enough mana to keep us alive indefinately, we can take down any boss)?

The priest evidently took some time to think, then whispered back to me "ty for inviting me, I think I'll leave though." That's when we filled the last two spots and finished the weekly without any more wipes. Yippee for us.

But I wonder why I did what I did. It was certainly unconventional, giving the choice to somebody who was clearly not contributing much to the group, but it still seemed right at the time. Yes, I wanted my badges for the week, but this was a pug and I don't care about GS or Achieve. Maybe they would take my adivce on their rotation? They took my advice on other stuff as well, so this person was clearly open to instruction. A part of me still feels bad because I basically told someone that they're not very good. But since I figured there was a reason that could be overcome I should give that player the chance.

I realize that many, many will disapprove of this course of action because I put the needs of the group behind the needs of the one. But you know what? I'm so sick of people being rude to each other, of not helping or offering suggestions in a constructive way, of not giving people the chance because they only have 213 gear on, and all other demeaning behavior towards other people. I'm so sick of it and I had a chance to not be that guy. I had a chance to give someone a chance and I took it. If the group disbanded we'd all find other pugs to join, so it's not like I prevented people from success, just maybe risked a delay in it. But I don't regret it, people need to be given a chance to prove themselves, especially those who are willing to learn.

Would have there been a point where I just kicked him? Admittedly yes, I said as much. Basically I had given this player one more chance, because I didn't completely ignore the needs of the other 8 players there. I hope this person has found a group that can carry him, I really do. We just were not that group. But I'm glad I didn't kick 'em after the first wipe, but I wonder a bit if what I did was still worse than demeaning him in front of everyone. I guess I'll never know.

Lesson on Leadership

There I stood, atop the highest tower in the land. My feet stood upon sparkling glass that reflected the sun's rays into a thousand different colors, each one new to my mind. I stood in awe at the land around me. Emerald forests with a golden floor. Titans stood along the eastern edge of my sight, forming glistening, snow capped mountains. And other figures there were, busying themselves all around, in small towns filled with bread shops and blacksmiths and leatherworkers. I could see them clearly, their hands moving, crafting with a harmony that drew a tear from my eye.

Rapture.

Who were these people, what was this place, who am I? There were no stairs leading down from the tower. How did I ever get up here? How will I ever get down? Then I hear a voice behind me saying "follow me". I turn and see, for the first time, another person atop the tower. Green eyed, tall, dressed in full fiery armor and sword in hand he points to the center of the tower and a staircase opens before me. Without hesitation I moved myself forward to the steps when all of a sudden they vanished. A chasm opened before me, but it was too late, I had taken the step and now I was falling. Just as I was about to collide with the ground my body felt light, was I floating? Yes, some magic surrounded me and I floated safely to the ground.

I turn and and see the same green eyed man before me.

"You nearly killed me!" I shouted.

"Maybe. But then I saved you, should you not feel grateful?"

Grateful? I did not understand what was happening. I don't know why I trusted him the first time, but after nearly killing me I am supposed to be grateful?

"Yes" he said, as if he was reading my thoughts. "If it wasn't for me you would not even be here."

"Where is here, who are you, what is going on?"

It wasn't that I didn't appreciate the beauty of the land, the craftsmanship of the townspeople, the peace I felt as I stood atop the tower. All of it invaded my senses and overwhelmed me. But I couldn't shake this strange feeling which came as soon the green-eyed soldier appeared. Deep inside of me, somewhere that others cannot see and I only feel occaisionally, I felt loyalty to this green-eyed sodier, but resentment started to build as well.

"Follow me," he said again. So I did.

Each pace on the golden forest floor renewed my hope, gave me strength I did not know exsited within me. I don't know how long we had walked, but the next thing I know we were on the edge of a river. A light shimmered from its depths and a bright, slender figure walked out of the water. At first it was just water, in the form of a woman, but slowly the vision faded and I behled a moral form, tall, thin, auburn hair and piercing blue eyes. She gazed into my eyes, I was transfixed.

"Cross the river" the green-eyed man said to me.

I stood in silence, under the spell of the river-woman. Then she spoke, but her mouth did not move. He words came to my mind as clear as a silver bell on a crisp, cold winter night.

"You have rope in your hands, look." She said.

I looked, sure enough there was rope.

"Throw one end of the rope to the other side. It's magical rope, so as soon as it touches a tree it will weave a knot, then all you need to do is do the same on this side of the river. A second rope will come to you and you need to repeat the process, the second rope being tossed 4-5 feet higher than the first. The two combined will create a rope bridge that you can cross. Don't be afraid, I have faith in you."

I turned to the green-eyed soldier, he didn't seem to notice the river-woman.

"Hurry up and cross!" He yelled. "We don't have much time."

"I need to toss the rope, just as I was instructed," I responded.

"What rope?" The green-eyed soldier looked at me as if I was losing my mind.

This is strange, what is going on? I could feel the wills of this man and woman fight against each other, but each oblivious to the other's presence. I was drawn to the woman, not because of her beauty, but rather because of the way she treated me. She taught me, she uplifted me and showed that she had confidence in me.

I quickly made the rope bridge and crossed the river. The green-eyed soldier desolved into mist on the other side of river; the woman stood before me again and spoke.

"I always believed in you. I taught you to believe in yourself, that is why you crossed the river."

"I know."

That was all I could say to her. I wanted to say thank you, ask who she was and why she helped me, but in my heart I knew who she was. My leader. She taught me very simply that leadership is when the leader believes in their subjects so that the subjects can believe in themselves, and they don't stop until each subject can stand on their own.

Her form faded once more into shimmering water, and slowly she merged once more with the river. My path before me was clear. A new power built up inside - hope, courage, belief. Whatever was beyond the emerald forest or the titan mountains, I knew that I could withstand the trial. I also knew that if I needed her, the river-woman would be there to guide me, teach me, and believe in me. She was my leader, I would do what she asked because I knew that she would only ask for that which I was capable.

The green-eyed soldier still visits sometimes, in the darker parts of the forest. He's never cruel, but he never emboldens me with confidence either. That I got from her, and now from myself.

The End