Friday, September 24, 2010

Quiz of the Week: Take it!

So, you THINK you know what faction/gender/class/spec combo is best for you? Well I’ve got 3 words for you: YOU ARE DEAD WRONG! All the answers are here in the new class optimizer quiz. Inspired by the most insightful magazine quizzes in the world, I’m going to take you on a ride through your subconscious with the single goal to get you on the right track with the right faction/gender/class/spec combo for Cataclysm. So, with about as much ado as I can muster on a Friday morning, (hmm, muster, makes me think of a ham sandwich for some reason), take the quiz below, add up your score, and find the corresponding match in the table at the end.

Our first step in the quiz is to determine whether to play Horde or Alliance, male or female.

Horde vs Alliance
In what hemisphere were you born?
-North = 1 pt
-South = 3

Did the name of your mother begin with one of the first 13 letters of the English alphabet?
-Yes = 3
-No = 7

Do you support communism?
-Yes = 1
-No = 4

RESULTS: If you scored 10 points or less, you should roll Horde. 11+ points roll Alliance.

Male vs Female
If you are on a date, and at a restaurant, and your food is cold, what do you do?
-Complain to the server = 6 pts
-Dance naked on your table = 4
-Say nothing and eat food without spit or urine = 8

If you were to die and be reincarnated as another human, would you maintain your current sex or change genders?
-Stay the same = 3
-Change me = 5

You’re in a dungeon standing before the final boss, the tank leaves the group, the healer whines about it…what do you do?
-Pull the boss = 9
-Tell healer to stop crying = 5
-Drop three fish feasts and dance until a new tank shows up = 3

RESULTS: 15 or fewer points you should roll a female character. 16+ total points you should roll a male toon.

Now with the real meat and potatoeeees, the part I know you’re eager to discover about yourself. Your class/spec combo, or that (along with your gear score and achievements) will define you to every other person on your server and in every dungeon or battleground you enter. On with the quiz.

Do you like baby kittens?
-Yes = 2 pts
-No = 1

If a stray dog walked up to you on the street, would you?
-Pet it = 3 pts
-Kick it = 2
-Kiss it on the mouth = 1

What is the longest you would be willing to wait in line to ride a roller coaster?
-180 minutes = 4 pts
-90 minutes = 3
-45 minutes = 2
-30 minutes or less = 1

If leading a raid to defeat the Lich King, how many Paladins would you include in your 10-man group?
-10 Paladins = 5 pts
-6 Paladins = 3
-4 Paladins = 2
-3 or Less Paladins = 1
-0 > I hate Paladins = 0

What is your ideal employment situation?
-Self-Employed = 3 pts
-Small Company employee = 2
-Big Corporation employee = 1
-Unemployed = 0

How many times have you run ICC?
-1 Bugugillion = 4 pts
-100+ times = 3
-Between 20 and 100 = 2
-Less than 20 = 1

What is your favorite color of jello?
-Green = 3 pts
-Red = 2
-Yellow = 1

How many times a day to you floss your teeth?
-5 or more = 4 pts
-Between 3-5 = 3
-Once or twice = 2
-Never = 1

You’re in a foreign country, you don’t speak the language, strange men are following you and it’s getting late. What do you do?
-Scream loudly in gibberish = 3 pts
-Turn and face the dark, scary men = 2
-Knock on someone’s door and try to ask to be admitted until the morning = 1

Done. Very nicely done. I hope you kept a tally of your points and have added them up either in your head or on paper. Are you ready for the results?

Final Score of 8 – 12
You should choose one of the following:
-Ret Pali
-Arms Warrior
-Subtlety Rogue
-Arcane mage
-Balance Druid
-Elemental Shaman

Explanation: You are in touch with your sensitive side, you enjoy mid-20th century rock and roll, and you enjoy the easy life and will always find ways to shirk responsibility.

Final Score of 13 – 18
You should choose one of the following:
-Survival Hunter
-Combat Rogue
-Discipline Priest
-Affliction Warlock
-Blood DK
-Protection Warrior

Explanation: You are the kind of person who shows patience in pugs but screams at guildies in raids. You are intelligent, hard working, and love peanut butter.

Final Score of 19 – 22
You should choose one of the following:
-Resto Shaman
-Feral Druid
-Protection Paladin
-BM Hunter
-Destruction Warlock
-Unholy Death Knight

Explanation: You have achieved perfection in your personal life and now wish to take on challenges in your gaming. You feel that all level 1 toons should start out with 10K gold and 4 30 slot bags. All in all, you have no faults but your own hubris.

Final Score of 23 – 27
You should choose one of the following:
-Assassination Rogue
-Shadow Priest
-Fury Warrior
-Holy Paladin
-Frost Mage
-Restoration Druid

Explanation: You are left handed, sleep standing up, each oatmeal for breakfast every morning and like bright, shiny lights. But most of all a good book and an action movie!

Final Score of 28 – 31
You should choose one of the following:
-Enhancement Shaman
-Frost Death Knight
-MM Hunter
-Holy Priest
-Demonology Warlock
-Fire Mage

Explanation: You are greater than 30 years old. You remember playing Atari and at one point Asteroids was your favorite game. You enjoy long walks on the beach and people who are smart, funny and good looking. You find raiding to be the most enjoyable part of WoW, while you suck at PvP.

There, I dare say I have each and every one of you pegged down to the greatest detail of your character and what you enjoy about online gaming. Use this guide, not only in WoW, but in life. It will serve to enlighten and protect you from evil politicians, telemarketers, and bumblebees bend on taking over the world.


Tesh said...

Startlingly accurate on all counts but one. I'm not perfect.

Gronthe said...

@ Tesh: You probably got a perfect score then took of one point with your humility making you imperfect. But you really are perfect, and your inability to admit it means you'll never be, and so on and so on.

I myself got a 100%, at least that's what "my people" told me who took the quiz on my behalf.