When to speak?

Disclaimer: By nature I am shy.

Well enough of the formalities, let's get down to business, shall we? I was never much for pugging, until I leveled a second toon to 80 and found that people wanted me to bring my well-geared shaman, not my semi-well-geared priest. The resulting consequences found me looking to join pug raid groups just to get experience and upgrades to gear until I could feel comfortable running with my guild full time. This past week was particularly difficult, for on our server the weekly raid was:

Lord Marrowgar

When Blizzard first instituted the weekly raid quest it was also at the same time ICC became available. The second week Lord Marrowgar was the weekly quest and everybody was trying to form a group to do just that...JUST Lord Marrowgar.

Skip to the present, nobody wants to do JUST Marrowgar, they want a full ICC run. My raid time is spent on my Shaman, I am working again, I still have my disability which limits my playtime, and I needed to find a way to get my priest into ICC to fight JUST Lord Marrowgar.

IMPOSSIBLE.

Every day I would be scanning the chat channels and LFR tool just to see if there were like-minded people out there who would be willing to sacrifice an entire week in ICC for just the first boss. "This is going to be difficult," I told myself.

Then at 3:22 pm yesterday, after completing my daily heroic, I see a LFM [Lord Marrowgar Must Die], 1DPS, 1 Tank. I send a tell...really quickly..."dps here", hoping that will be enough, that they won't ask for gear score (even though it was sufficient for ICC), or achievement link (my Shaman has all the achievements).

I get invited.

I get in and monitor the raid chat, I want to see what the problems were that people were having, if any at all. In summary: 3 wipes, bad tank, fail heals, dps die a lot.

Remember, by nature I am shy, but I saw that I needed to speak up.

"May I ask, since I just arrived, what your positioning has been? Are dps standing under his butt inside his hitbox? Have you been prioritizing bone spikes? When bonestorm happens are you running around like chickens with their heads cutoff or are you being patient, making small moves and letting the healers heal you? Are you staying out of the cold flame?"

These were questions that I asked, because it became quickly apparent that there were several first-timers there, and the rest second-timers. Luckily, there was a new tank (replacing the bad one) that also had experience. We were able to calmly and patiently talk the group through the encounter. We wiped the first time, but had nearly taken the big, bad, bone dude out. We ran back in and hit him hard and finally felled hit butt.

I have always let other people do the leading and talking in wow, by choice. Yes, I am shy by nature, but leadership is a talent of mine when I choose to act upon those insticnts. If the situation calls for it, I can rise up to the occaision and help lead a group of strangers to victory. Teaching is about patience and accountability. Some people speak out of turn, or when they do it's unproductive and confrontational, still others speak the right words at the right time but in the wrong way...too judgemental.

When I ask "When to speak?" what I mean is not only when but why and how? When we open our voices to guildies or pugs what are we saying, when are we saying it, what tone of voice do we use and why? I realize everyone is different, has their own philosophies and most likely don't agree with me, but in my opinion I would appreciate it if when raiding people would think before they speak. If something needs to be said, it's ok to say, but watch how you say it and consider your motives before allowing the words to flow from your tongue or flow through your fingers.

When to speak? For me it was when the situation required it, not to satisfy my ego or any other selfish reason. For you, what is the answer? When do you speak? Is it determined by guild rules, norms, or personal choice?